Let’s face it, ladies. After the sexy honeymoon phase and the initial butterflies, the dynamics in a relationship are bound to change with time. The longer you remain in a relationship, the more likely you are to hit a point where he (or she) takes you for granted.
No need to freak out just yet though. This isn’t reason enough to assume that he doesn’t love you anymore. Rather, his behavior may simply indicate that he views you as a staple in his life, someone he knows he can count on. Your job, however, is to remind him that even if you are, it doesn’t excuse him from putting in effort to make you feel valued.
To prevent the relationship from further cementing itself into a monotonous routine, give these first-hand tips a try:
1) Change it up
Do you feel like he (or she) isn’t putting any effort into the relationship? His (probably subconscious) reasoning for why he acts the way he does can most likely be attributed to the fact that your routine with him has already been set. For example, you may meet on the same evenings or days each week, get take-out from the same restaurant and watch the same shows on Hulu. While that may feel comfortable, it would be a surprise to find anyone who wouldn’t get bored with the regularity of never-changing plans.
Try suggesting new places to eat, spend an evening outdoors, go to a concert, or get a group of friends together. Aim to do something new or different once every week or week and a half. Make a pact to surprise each other at least once a month with secret and romantic date night plans.
2) Communicate
Generally, as a rule of thumb, it’s encouraged to give men space, at least in the early dating stages, and allow them to do most of the planning and pursuing. Allow him take the initiative and go at his own pace. If you’re always leading or planning things, this might set the pattern for the rest of the relationship/courtship and eventually leave you feeling taken for granted.
Though it’s important to let him know how you feel, make it a point to remind him how relationships require effort from both parties, not just one. It’s not acceptable for him to think or act like he can just show up and not take the time to invest, care, or plan.
Be careful of the way you approach this conversation — if he (or she) feels like he is being attacked, it is likely that he’ll get defensive about how he’s been acting, rather than open-minded.
3) Get your own life
Similar to changing your routine, constantly being available to your man can indirectly tell him that you’ll always be there at his beck-and-call. This doesn’t mean that you should never see him or that he needs to plummet on your list of priorities, but giving each other the space to do your own thing will also give you both the chance to miss each other and value the time you spend together.
Has it been awhile since you met with your girlfriends? When was the last time you were able to pamper yourself with some TLC?
The healthiest relationships I know are the ones that value how time is spent, both apart and together. Being in a relationship or being married doesn’t mean that you both fuse into one person or that you lose yourself in the other. You are meant to share your lives together, not be dictated by it.
But despite all these suggestions, which are good for any relationship, if a guy is taking you for granted, maybe it’s simply time to move on and find someone who won’t…
Hello Sarah ! Thanks for sharing an article on such an important and complicated topic. This blog really helps every couple to live a happy and lovely life.
What you need to do is to lie down on the floor. Curl yourself on the fetal position. Try not to cry. Then cry a lot. Don’t forget to play Sia’s “Taken for Granted” on the background. LOL!
Since I am not a confrontational person, I give my husband the “silent treatment” whenever I feel like suddenly becoming on the last of his list of priorities. And it usually works for me!
Yeah! I do that, too. And it makes me feel in control.
That passive-aggresive behavior is a fitting punishment for men like those.
If a guy takes you for granted, you should start getting scared because it’s either he’s taking care of somebody else already, or that he doesn’t care about you anymore.
It’s emotionally draining when you feel like you are becoming a “beggar” for his attention. It’s a terrible experience, and all sorts of crazy thoughts and suspicions pop out and cloud your mind! It made me paralyzed within. That is no way to treat a woman!!!
I alwyas give time to do my own thing and allow my husband to do his. That way, we have something to talk about when we spend time together, and it also serves as an opportunity to make us both curious about each other’s activities.
In my lifetime that consisted of a lot of heartbreaks, I noticed that you never have to beg for something that a person knows that you deserve. It will be given to you without you asking. I also think that if you treat yourself as a queen, you will be treated like a queen. If you let yourself be treated like shit, then you’ll get that treatment, definitely. Respect yourself enough to be respected. I think a lot of women should know this because not everyone knows their worth.
100% agree with this. If you know your worth and what you deserve, you’ll only receive what you think you know you deserve. You’ll have no time for those who offer you less.
I wish it’s as easy as saying that you really do deserve the best. Sometimes we have no choice but to lower our standards because we love a person.
Most of the time, we jump into conclusions too quickly. But it will help to give our partners some “benefit of the doubt.” Maybe he or she is also struggling with some personal difficulties and is hesitating to share the burden with you. Again, communication is the key to know how to manage the situation well.
It hurts that there’s nothing permanent in this world. People change and feelings change. We just have to hope that it’s for the better and not for the worst.
A lot of your recent articless resonate with my situation and I appreciate your wisdom. Thank you so much! ❤️