It’s Saturday night and instead of being out with my girlfriends, I’m talking my sobbing ex down from the edge or my balcony railing. But he’s the one who cheated and broke my heart, so why won’t he leave?
No, this isn’t a movie. Unfortunately, this was my life. So when I say I’ve been there – I mean it. I know how it goes… One of you wanted commitment, the other didn’t. It was long-distance. The timing wasn’t right. Friends didn’t approve. Someone cheated. It was too complicated. For whatever reason, it didn’t work – and yet, your ex is still loitering around. Confused? Don’t be.
The bottom line, regardless of why it ended, is to allow some time after the initial break-up to process things and reflect. As nice as it sounds to stay true to the “let’s-be-friends” fantasy, we all know that it’s not very realistic. Feelings don’t dissipate overnight.
From my extensive knowledge (first-hand experiences of dating too many guys who can’t take a hint), I’ve put together a basic list of what to do when your ex won’t leave:
1. Quit cold turkey.
If the reason the two of you part ways wasn’t primarily because either of you weren’t interested, then completely cutting out or severely limiting the communication you have with him is probably the best way to go. If the break-up isn’t final and you just need time to think things over, make that very clear to him. And before you feel the need to lie about your whereabouts (unless he’s an uber-creep and it’s apparent that he’s a professional stalker), be clear with your ex about where you stand and what you want.
2. Social network no more.
If he’s clearly not respecting your boundaries, even after you’ve made it obvious that you need your time and space, do what you think is necessary to get your point across. Change your number, move out of the state (I’m only half-joking), delete him off your buddy list, and block him on Facebook & Twitter.
3. Don’t talk the talk if you can’t walk the walk.
This is the most crucial of the tips. Regardless of what you do and say, it will be all for nothing if you can’t stick with the boundaries that you have set for him and yourself. Crossing the lines you yourself drew is only going to encourage him to be persistent and eventually lead him to think that you’re not serious about what you want or need. Breaking your rules and then trying to adhere to them repeatedly will also establish a destructive cycle. Stick to your boundaries!
Listen: the last thing you want to do is break up and find yourself three or four years down the line, unable to shut the door. It will only hold you back from exploring your options and progressing forward. We all know there’s no such thing as an “easy” break-up, if either of the people involved were, in some form, emotionally attached. In the meantime the only guarantee I can make is that it will get better in due time – but only if you want it to. The choice is yours.
Build a wall between the two of you. Leaving the city is a good way to get rid of your ex-boyfriend. I am not kidding.
As a man, I think you should talk to him. Tell him everything that he needs to know. We all have feelings, and you may hurt him if you don’t clear things to him.
My ex-boyfriend is acting strange these past few weeks. I think he wants us to get back together, but the thing is.. I found someone better than him. Thank you, for sharing this article with us.
Cut off your communications. That is the best way to get rid of your ex-boyfriend.
I hate it when I read stories like this one. What’s the point of cheating and begging to get back together? What kind of stupidity is that, men?
My ex-boyfriend wants us to get back together. I still love him, but there’s something in me that keeps telling me not to. I don’t know what to do now. ?
He took you for granted before, Why is he like that? I don’t get why men are like that. Cheat on you, then goes back to you.
Maybe your ex-boyfriend realized your real worth. It’s not bad to give him a second just, but if you don’t feel about giving him a chance, tell it to him.
Lingering exes are annoying! I don't want to be in this situation. I agree with blocking them on social networks! Thta way no one can spy on what the other person is doing. Also a good way to cut ties.
Hey, you must have a talk with him, just tell him that you are already with someone else and that you are happy, he is going to just have to move on !