It’s Saturday night and instead of being out with my girlfriends, I’m talking my sobbing ex down from the edge or my balcony railing. But he’s the one who cheated and broke my heart, so why won’t he leave?
No, this isn’t a movie. Unfortunately, this was my life. So when I say I’ve been there – I mean it. I know how it goes… One of you wanted commitment, the other didn’t. It was long-distance. The timing wasn’t right. Friends didn’t approve. Someone cheated. It was too complicated. For whatever reason, it didn’t work – and yet, your ex is still loitering around. Confused? Don’t be.
The bottom line, regardless of why it ended, is to allow some time after the initial break-up to process things and reflect. As nice as it sounds to stay true to the “let’s-be-friends” fantasy, we all know that it’s not very realistic. Feelings don’t dissipate overnight.
From my extensive knowledge (first-hand experiences of dating too many guys who can’t take a hint), I’ve put together a basic list of what to do when your ex won’t leave:
1. Quit cold turkey.
If the reason the two of you part ways wasn’t primarily because either of you weren’t interested, then completely cutting out or severely limiting the communication you have with him is probably the best way to go. If the break-up isn’t final and you just need time to think things over, make that very clear to him. And before you feel the need to lie about your whereabouts (unless he’s an uber-creep and it’s apparent that he’s a professional stalker), be clear with your ex about where you stand and what you want.
2. Social network no more.
If he’s clearly not respecting your boundaries, even after you’ve made it obvious that you need your time and space, do what you think is necessary to get your point across. Change your number, move out of the state (I’m only half-joking), delete him off your buddy list, and block him on Facebook & Twitter.
3. Don’t talk the talk if you can’t walk the walk.
This is the most crucial of the tips. Regardless of what you do and say, it will be all for nothing if you can’t stick with the boundaries that you have set for him and yourself. Crossing the lines you yourself drew is only going to encourage him to be persistent and eventually lead him to think that you’re not serious about what you want or need. Breaking your rules and then trying to adhere to them repeatedly will also establish a destructive cycle. Stick to your boundaries!
Listen: the last thing you want to do is break up and find yourself three or four years down the line, unable to shut the door. It will only hold you back from exploring your options and progressing forward. We all know there’s no such thing as an “easy” break-up, if either of the people involved were, in some form, emotionally attached. In the meantime the only guarantee I can make is that it will get better in due time – but only if you want it to. The choice is yours.
That hurts. You had the right love, at the wrong time and separating ways is the only solution that you both think what’s the best for you. You still love each other, but you have to set him free because that is for the best.
I blocked him in all of my social medias! Urgh! He’s freaking annoying!!! I hate everything about him. He doesn’t leave me alone.
Just my opinion, why do women are like that? I know that most of the time, we, men are acting like sh*t, and hurting your feelings, but can’t we be a better person? People change!
Yeah, set things up, and don’t hang him with false hopes. Maybe he’s a douchebag for hurting your feelings, but getting revenge is not a good thing.
Push him away. If the reason for your breakup is his fault, push him away. Don’t give him another chance to hurt you.
Oh cmon. If the woman doesn’t want you in your life, then back off. Don’t bother her. You had your chance, and you blew it away.
Set some boundaries between the two of you, and stop giving him false hopes if you have no plan of getting back together. Maybe he’s bothering you because you are giving him hopes that you still have a chance.
Do girls know how hard is this for us? I know, some of you may think that we are just tripping, and playing with your hearts, but the truth is we aren’t. Try to understand, and don’t compare other relationship to ours.
I blocked my ex-boyfriend on all of my social medias. He’s a retarded. I don’t know what to do with him. He can’t accept the fact that our book is now over. =(
Men are sometimes slow. Even if you give the signal to stop, they wouldn’t. Better talk to them and confront them.