I don’t know about you, but getting the best out of every sexual experience is basically my #1 goal in life. I spend most of my afternoons daydreaming about the day I’ll find that perfect someone who’ll sweep me off my feet and give me that wild carnal feeling as we’re both entwined in each other’s arms.
But when I meet someone new, is it possible to predict if he’ll be sexually compatible to my needs — without sleeping with him? Well, here are a few ways I’ve learned to predict sexual compatibility, without wasting a lot of time:
Check Your Body’s Reaction
As you stare at this person, you suddenly felt hot all over. A sudden tingling sensation seems to crawl along your skin; taking in every detail of the person awakens your body, and some parts of your anatomy are starting to get restless… The feeling of just grabbing the guy and running to the nearest bedroom is practically unbearable. Don’t just disregard the feeling, pay attention to it!
Chances are you’ll recognize when you just don’t have a great sexual connection with another person. Honor your intuition.
Considering that this is your reaction we are talking about, keep in mind that (I know, it’s unlikely, but) you might be the only one who’s feeling it. So try to observe his (or her) reaction as well; if he feels the same way about you then he’ll likely be leaning in, touching your hand or thigh, flirting, and making it clear that he’s into you.
Kiss and Tell
A kiss can tell you more than if he (or she) is a good kisser or not. If you know what to look for, a kiss can tell you a lot of things regarding the person’s sexual compatibility with you. First kisses shouldn’t be judged since nerves often get in the way. But the second kiss is fair game. If the kiss is somewhat harried and out of focus, or if he doesn’t put his hand on you (on the back of your head or back, normally) while he’s kissing you, then he’s probably not a good lover. But a wild one, complete with tongue play and carnal lust, may be your ticket to wild night in bed.
You can also judge through the kiss if the person is sexually passionate or a wet blanket (no pun intended!) If he (or she) kisses the usual way then you might end up being the one to teach him how to get your pleasure meter up. But if the kiss lingers while his hands slowly explore your body, then you just stumbled upon a guy who knows his way around the female body – give it your best shot and don’t hold back!
Find Out Their Deal
Spontaneity in a sexual sense is good, but well-laid plans can lead to getting laid well, if you get it right. If you want to find out if he or she is sexually compatible with you then plan out a series of seduction “tests” to make sure that he (or she) has the same taste as you.
We all fall on a spectrum of vanilla to kinky when it comes to our sexual appetites. One guy may be perfectly happy with missionary sex every single time, while the other might need ball gags and blindfolds to get off. Some people use sex to connect, others use it for a release, and others use it to fill a void. A partner who wants sex twice a day is going to have a hard time dating someone who would be fine with once a month.
Finding out where he (or she) stands is critical to determining long-term sexual compatibility. So flirt. Talk about what turns you both on. Ask if he’s into anything kinky, or what he thought of 50 Shades of Gray.
Experience is Always the Best Teacher
To be really sure if you’re compatible, then you may just have to get it on and experience it first hand. Get to know personally if the person is sexually compatible with you by making out. Go to second or third base, but don’t hit a home run.
Take it slow at first; a little foreplay can do wonders at this point. If you’re turning each other on, then you can move it up a notch and start getting a bit more erotic. Let the anticipation build up until you’re really sure you want to go all-the-way, and it’ll be even hotter than if you’d done it sooner.
Consider This
All of this only works if you know yourself. You need to know what you like, how you like it, and how often, in order to figure out how that guy you’ve been on a couple of dates with fits into that picture. The best way to get to know yourself is to touch yourself. When you feel sexual, act on it — by yourself. Figure out your body and what makes you feel sexy. Dress to feel sexy. Cook, if that awakens your senses and makes you feel sexy. Take baths and notice how it feels when you run the soap gently over your skin.
It can be difficult to know how much emphasis to put on sexual compatibility; while most people enjoy great sex, we tend to feel uncomfortable with the thought of ending a relationship over sexual incompatibility. The good news, in my opinion, is that sexual compatibility is not a fixed value. It can actually be improved! Your willingness to work on your sexual relationship is way more important than having identical sex drives and desires. And that’s OK! Life just wouldn’t be interesting if we got what we wanted 100% of the time. You never know — you just may discover a new side of yourself!
Being a closet dominatrix feels really empowering. All the guys who come to me that want me to step on them whip them and all kinds of stuff. Just gives me the chills!
Am I the only one here who completely dominate in bed and make it a point that he cannot finish before I do. We both do work in bed let’s just clear that up. But I make it a point that I am the one who is fucking him, not the other way around.
Women have needs too. we have urges and fantasies. Not all male specimen are flexible enough to try all sort of things.
Oh trust me, they are flexible. But they will still finish first. sad really.
This is a very critical thing for a relationship. I can’t imagine being with someone that I don’t enjoy being in bed with. I have met men who can be like dead veggies in bed and I can’t imagine lasting a week in that kind of relationship. I’m well aware that sex isn’t everything, but at some point you’ll need to experience happiness in bed and you’ll crave that breathtaking feeling that your SO can give you. Don’t even deny the fact that pleasure is very important for us women too.
It’s important for women too, yes.
It’s so awkward to be trying to find out if the guy is sexually into you during the first few weeks. It’s like you’re both treading on unknown waters and it’s so scary!!!
I’ve been going on random dates lately, and it’s so hard to figure out whether the guy is sexually attracted to me or not. I think it’s because most men would pretend to like you on the first dates and would even ignore you after thay day, even though you think the two of you really hit it off to a good start.
It’s such a struggle to ace this compatibility thing. I no longer want mediocre love making.
Oh my, I always have cloudy judgments when it comes to sexual compatibility. Sometimes I think it’s a good turn that we’re taking, only to be disappointed afterwards. It’s soooo crazy! It gets a little frustrating at times. Gladly, my partner at the moment seems to get things right. We’re working on it though, we talk things through so that the next time we indulge in our senses, we could make our way into a great time that’s better than the previous one. It’s good to always have an open communication with your significant other.
We all get cloudy judgment sometimes. Because it’s never easy to figure out if you’re just recently dating someone and you haven’t tested the waters with that person.
I never lasted long with people I’m not compatible with. I know I’m picky about partners, that includes sexual performance.
Be comfortable with yourself and be confident. That will always be sexy! Your partner will love that. No compatibility needed.