Everyone has times when they don’t feel like their best, most attractive or confident selves. Working through difficult times like these can actually make you stronger and more confident in the long run. When you’re in the middle of one of these stretches, it can be difficult to know how to work your way out of it. If this sounds familiar to you, try some of these tips to boost your confidence:
Change Your Appearance
Looking good can greatly increase your confidence. While you don’t need to drastically alter your appearance, simply taking a shower, shaving, putting on makeup and dressing nicely can help you feel ready to start that day. Again, this doesn’t mean you need to buy designer or expensive clothing, it just means dress for the situation (or even overdress a little) to help you feel special.
Another idea is to change up your style. If you’ve had the same hair color for ages, try changing it (you can do it yourself at home). Try some new up-do’s. Even just changing your makeup routine (hello, red lipstick!) or your shoe choice can give you a little boost.
Stop Reading Print Magazines
Studies show that women feel crummy about themselves, and their long-term self-esteem suffers, when they read print magazines. Looking at Photoshopped photos of models gets even models feeling less attractive, because even though we may consciously know that the images are fantasy, our subconscious brain still picks up on the harmful messaging; that we must look flawless, skinny and sultry if we expect to be loveable and sexy. And it’s all in an effort to sell us more products we really don’t need.
So don’t listen. Better yet — don’t expose your brain to that messaging at all; read online blogs or indie magazines, like Urbanette, instead.
Be Grateful
It’s easy to get fixated on the things you want rather than being thankful for what you already have. This often leads you to focus on your weaknesses as a person rather than your strengths.
One way to reorganize your thought process is to write down three things you are grateful for and why each day. These things don’t need to be groundbreaking gratitudes, but rather small victories such as the sunny sky overhead or the cup of coffee you grabbed with a friend. Remembering to focus on the positive things in your life helps you rediscover your confidence in a real way.
Try Meditation
This might seem a little too new age for some people, but true self-confidence is all about self-awareness. If you become more aware of your feelings and why you are having those specific feelings, it is easier to accept the things you cannot change and be confident to affect the things you can.
One of the objectives during meditation is to observe yourself and surroundings without judgement. You can’t avoid or make something happen during meditation, nor are you trying to. Just sit quietly and observe (and let go of) your thoughts as a third party. Through a more thorough understanding of yourself, you can acknowledge both your strengths and weaknesses, without judgement. This eventually leads to inner calm and confidence — I promise!
Exercise
Physical activity can burn off some of your pent up emotions. Going to the gym, joining a sports team or doing any sort of regular exercise can get your body in shape and improve your mental health. Getting in a rhythm of working out also creates positive momentum and something for you to build on. The more you work out, the more you’ll want to work out. And you just might make some new friends while you’re at it.
Where meditation is all about internal and mental results, working out is all about the external, something you can see in the mirror as well as feel in your energy levels.
Think Positive
When it comes to self-confidence, your thoughts can be your best friends or your worst enemies. It’s important to remember that your emotions mirror your thoughts. So, if you are focusing on negative thoughts, you’re more likely to feel sad or angry.
It is up to you to decide which thoughts are helpful, positive ones, and which are harmful. By discarding the negative thoughts, you will be able to focus on being productive and feeling confident.
What do you do when you’re feeling down, to make yourself feel better?
I’m almost 26, a virgin, live at home, work a job that I hate, have a tooth that grew over another one so it’s out of place and I am not an interesting person in general. What the hell do I have to be confident about? I have a lot of insecurities. How am I supposed to be confident if I really don’t like myself that much?
Create that list of goals that will change your life, then start chipping away at it. Don’t try and do it all at once. Rome wasn’t built overnight as they say. Good luck.
I do have confidence. But I value my privacy a lot. So I hate people asking about my personal stuff.
Fantastic article! Another great piece of advice that worked for me is to take care of your body. Eat healthier, get good amounts of sleep and drink tons of water and exercise. These things help to keep me feeling great and people around you respond better to you when you are feeling great.
I read this article yesterday morning because I wanted to kinda get myself more out there (I’m a freshman in high school) and I wanted to start talking to more girls. After reading it I worked out for a while and got a new haircut. I’ve been talking to this girl as a friend but I kinda liked her, last night I really brought out this new confidence that you taught me to have. I hinted that I liked her. It turns out that she really liked me back! We were talking all night and it was the best time of my life. My reason for telling this story is so that you guys with low self-esteem like I used to have to know that you are special and you can get the girl with just a little bit of confidence. Be proud of who you are:).
Confidence has two basic definitions. 1. A feeling of certainty or assurance. 2. An act of trust or reliance. So there are the “feelings” of confidence and there are the “actions” of confidence. Most people are always banking on and waiting for the feeling of confidence. As a result, they are often waiting for a LONG time before doing something that might be important to them in their life. The actions of confidence in the other hand are within your control. There is much more to say in this but just remember the #1 rule of winning the confidence game which is…the actions of confidence come first and the feelings of confidence may come later.
The problem isn’t your face it’s the people who say it’s your face. If you are around people who are quick to judge other people and who don’t give compliments but rather pick out the bad things you will then look at yourself and pick at something that’s perfectly normal and declare it ugly. Try to stay positive and look at yourself each day and pick out something you love about yourself.
This is so helpful! Thank you for this. Needed it.
This article is awesome and so timely for me. I enjoyed this article on building self-confidence as it outlines the steps that are required to steadily build confidence. Another great reason to build your own self confidence is to open yourself up for the job of praising and recognizing the achievements of others. Reading this article is inspiring! I’m going to bookmark this too. Thanks for all of the great writing you produce on this Mag!
Hilary, you are a miracle in so many ways. Thank you for posting this today. When i woke up this morning, I was feeling very lost and very confused and very uninspired. Your article about boosting self confidence was exactly what I needed. I can’t tell you what a difference it’s made for me.
You hit it right on the nail and I couldn’t agree with you more. I like what you have written in this article. There are so very many things which everyone can do so as to build self confidence. Sometimes we have to read them, or hear them, in a different way so as to fully understand them. Love for myself and each and every soul I meet along the way.
Hi I just wanted to say that your way of thought is the path of ones who are seeking prosperity and happiness, thanks a lot.