The first time a close friend took me aside to share some serious criticism was in 11th grade. She saw me making a mistake and tried to help me fix it. At the time, I jumped to the defensive and ignored her comments. Only with the 20/20 vision of hindsight did I realize that she was right. Our closest friends know us better than anyone, meaning that they’re the best people to help us tackle our flaws.
Taking criticism is never easy. Hearing about our own flaws tends to bring up a defensive response that has ended many a friendship in the past. But getting criticism is also the only way we can work to improve. Next time a friend tries to give you constructive advice, do your best to get what you can out of it without getting hurt.
Differentiate Between Mean And Constructive Comments
Just because a friend tries to help you, doesn’t mean she’s right. If your friend is more insulting than constructive, it might be time to reevaluate your relationship. But if she takes you aside and addresses the issue with kindness and respect, recognize that she’s doing her best to help you. Hear her out.
Avoid Defensiveness
If your friend shares constructive criticism with respect, avoid getting defensive. Responding to criticism with a defensive or belligerent attitude is a sure-fire way to start an argument. Your first reaction might be to defend yourself and deny her claims, but try not to vocalize these feelings right away. Instead, thank your friend for her concern and take some distance to think things through.
Do your best to get what you can out of their advice
Respect Their Opinion
Hearing criticism is hard, but so is approaching a friend with advice. Respect that your friend has your best intentions at heart and wants to help you. Instead of harboring resentful feelings, think about what you’d do if you reversed your roles. Letting a loved one make mistakes is easy–it’s much harder to intervene, but in the end it’s the right thing to do. Hard as it might be to hear, take the advice as a sign of love. It takes a lot of courage and affection to approach someone on a sensitive topic.
Evaluate With Honesty
Before broaching the topic again, think about what your friend had to say and evaluate her opinion. Be honest with yourself—is she right? If you have questions or want to talk things out more, go to your friend for help. Likewise, if you’re feeling hurt or blindsided, now is the time to talk through those emotions.
Set Goals
Once you’ve evaluated your friend’s advice, decide how you want to use it. Form some concrete goals based on the advice you’ve received to improve yourself. No one is perfect, and criticism is the only way we can see our own flaws and work on them. Use your friend’s honesty to make new goals for self-improvement.
Avoid getting defensive so you can understand their point of view
Those close to us see us at our worst, making them the best people to turn to in times of trouble. They’re also the best people to help us better ourselves. Sensitive topics are difficult for everyone involved, but we walk away stronger, ready to strive for new goals.
Thanks so much! You have no idea how much I needed to hear this right now.
kudos!! Very good listed points, i think i’m going to try this and see how it works. Good luck to myself! lol ?
Your words really resonate with me and remind me that life is an adventure. I think we will always have fear of receiving criticisms, failure and rejection. These are natural human emotions i think, and there’s no way to completely get rid of them. The real goal is learning to accept our weaknesses. Hearing the criticism all the way through may teach us something.
Great tips. I needed so much to read such words today. I tend to go straight to anger right after receiving criticism from others. But if you really listen and weigh its value, you can improve it and turn it around to your advantage. Fantastic advice, Thanks!
Meditation and exercise helps me with this-handling criticism. I think it is good to Take a few breaths after receiving a criticism and think about how to respond for a few moments. Even if someone delivers the criticism to you properly, it can still be hard to accept the truth of something. By pausing for a moment, you will be able to handle your emotions and think more clearly. Your perspective and advice is so helpful and appreciated.
The way you have narrated the article from the beginning to the end is fabulous, there seems to be a great flow in the way you have written the article.? Great tips on how to listen to criticism, handle your emotions, and learn to how to act in a positive manner. This speaks hugely to me and is very timely for me. I am definitely going to do this. Thank you.?
Your tips are very important for every human being life. Don’t get stressed out and take criticism so seriously. If you’re smart, you’ll learn how to gracefully accept criticism, and even learn how to weigh its true. Thank you for the reminder. I think we all need to be reminded of this more often. ?
This is exactly what we needed to read. Criticism is constantly around us. We get it from people we know and even random strangers on the street. Learning how to receive criticism and handle them is a talent that requires practice. I will teach this to my son. thank you! 🙂
Criticism is a vital part of living and growing up. Life is not without one. And criticism, while hurtful, is one of the many tools that will help transform us. So, when somebody criticizes us, they meant well. At least, those who care for us does.
There are also those who love criticizing just for the heck of it, though. There are a lot of bullies out there who are simply out to get us. It may be because they want to pull us down as a projection of their sorry life, or to paint us black to make them look whiter. Whatever their issues in life are, it’s their fight and not ours. The key is discerning when to acknowledge, and to walk away. If there is merit to the criticism, why, it should be a chance for us to check ourselves for flaws and resolve it. But if there is none, well, life is short to be fighting all the battles not worthy of our limited time.
I would like to put the quote ” be sure to taste your words first before you spit them out”. For me, advising and reminding is a lot better than criticizing if you want to tell the truth to your friends and/or your loved ones. It is utterly hard on the part of the person who will receive it, but if they’ve really trusted their loved ones they will not get mad and listen. Some people are jealous of others because they are not happy with what they have, then they will use criticism and reverse psycho saying that the other are the ones who’re jealous of them. So.. I think that always having a clear and understandable conversation is essential.