Men Answer Your Questions About Love

Is your man in love? Will he fall for you? Men answer: How to tell.


Think of a great relationship as though it were a great meal: A delicious, meaty (veggie) steak of sexual passion accompanied by a fine, delicate wine of romance and commitment. Both men and women want it all — the perfect, satisfying course. And we need both — steak by itself is dry and unsatisfying; wine will get you tipsy, but it won’t satisfy your hunger. Now, before the metaphor police revoke my license, let me simply push this analogy a little further: men are a little more focused on the meat of the relationship, and women a bit more on the wine. But both sexes want to get up from the table completely satisfied.

Men Answer Your Questions About Love

Need evidence? More than three-fourths of men believe in soul mates. And when we asked our guys to choose between meeting the love of their life or having amazing sex for six months, 92 percent chose falling in love. (The other 8 percent were probably Maxim readers.) Consider what these three men said about the experience of falling in love:

“We need to feel love, loyalty, and chemistry above all else,” says Ian, 31.
“Men also feel the butterflies and giddiness that women do when they’re in love,” says Robert, 26.
“Women don’t realize most guys are in love long before they are willing to admit it to anyone,” says Drew, 30.

So, why then does it always seem like women are leading the relationship toward commitment, and men need to be dragged along like a preschooler to a dental appointment? Because in the early-on strategic game of dating, men need to feel secure in how their girlfriend is feeling first. Consider this: less than half of men say they’re typically the first ones to say “I love you” in a relationship, and more women than men initially broach the subject of taking the relationship to the next level. That points to the notion that what men really want when it comes to love is their girlfriend’s assurance — your permission, really — that it’s okay to let the butterflies out of the cage.

Question: Guys, do you believe you’ve met your soul mate?

  • Yes, I’m with her right now – 53 Percent
  • Yes, but we’re no longer together – 14 Percent
  • Yes, but we were never together as a couple – 9 Percent
  • No – 24 Percent

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Avatar of Sarah Woodstock

Sarah enlightens us on a daily basis with the newest trends as (and often before) they transpire. She is the consummate globe trotter. Having traveled to over 70 countries, she earns her living writing, blogging ( and modeling while on the road. In her spare time she gets manicures, suntans on yachts in Greece, shops for even more shoes, and lives in the limelight. She loves photography, elephants, sailboats, bangles and ballet flats.

Reader Discussion: 91 Comments

  1. Avatar of ariel myers

    ariel myers

    92% wow. just wow! guess all my exes are the 8% that sucks.

  2. Avatar of Janet Day

    Sorry but I think the whole “92% of men chose love” is BS.

    • Avatar of Mary Jamieson

      Mary Jamieson

      For a relationship to work, there needs to be give and take. Men can’t do all the work. LOL

  3. Avatar of Edwina Thornhill

    Edwina Thornhill

    They say that men are simple-minded and women are the complicated ones, but I find it hard to understand most guys.

  4. Avatar of Jennifer Kirkpatrick

    Jennifer Kirkpatrick

    It’s society’s fault that women aren’t as assertive as most men. We got used to just waiting for men to ask us out. I feel sorry for the guys who aren’t as brave as the others.

    • Avatar of Agnes Hoots

      Agnes Hoots

      I feel this on a spiritual level. I’m only 25 but my relatives are more concerned with my non-existent relationship than I am.

  5. Avatar of Christine Wiggin

    Christine Wiggin

    I don’t like it when people ask me if they can be friends with me because my tendency is to always say no. I feel the same about relationships. I’d rather just let it happen. But I also get that some things need to be asked first.

  6. Avatar of Mona Murrell

    Mona Murrell

    Women give mix signals. They’re very hard to read. You’ll just get a migraine trying to understand them.

    • Avatar of Hillary Williams

      Hillary Williams

      I know it’s easier said than done, but maybe try talking to her about it? Maybe she’s just waiting for you to ask but you’ll never know if you won’t ask. Asking is the best way to get an answer. I hope this helps. 🙂

  7. Avatar of Diane Roth

    Diane Roth

    I’m shocked to know that 92% of men chose falling in love.

  8. Avatar of Isabela Quagliato

    I believe men need more understanding when it comes to matters of the heart. They do not speak what they feel which usually cause miscommunication.

    • Avatar of Joan Samonte

      Joan Samonte

      They love to keep everything simple. They tend to feel that crying is for girls. That is why the suicide rate is higher among men. That is why I always try to avoid confrontational talks with my boyfriend.

  9. Avatar of Amanda Wilson

    Thanks for writing, Sarah! Men and women need to meet halfway if they want to succeed in love!

  10. Avatar of Meiga Jenk

    Men are completely different from us, women. And it’s essential that if you love your man, you need to understand him and make sure he knows you do.

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