The power of a fantasy is amazing. Yet few couples ever indulge in each others fantasies. Some feel that fantasies are private issues that shouldn’t be exposed. Others are just too embarrassed to fully release their fantasies to anyone. Others are scared they won’t be able to fulfill them, so they’d rather not open pandora’s box.
In an open and healthy relationship, fantasies can provide the much needed escape from reality. Openly sharing these inner secrets with your partner unlocks hidden desires that will benefit both partners. It is always better to know the secret sexual desires of your partner than it is for him (or her!) to keep them locked inside. Awareness is power.
Do you know exactly what your lovers sexual fantasies are? Most women think they do. At the same time, most can’t describe the fantasy in detail. Remember: detail is a major key to fantasies. When your partner is visualizing his (or her!) ultimate sexual encounter, he is very detailed about how things are developing. How his mind formats the fantasy is of extreme importance. Knowing that his innermost secret desire is a threesome is not enough. Details are what arouse and bring out emotions.
The million dollar question now is, how do you get the juicy details of your lover’s wildest fantasy?
First and foremost, realize that he (or she) may be apprehensive about detailing his secrets to you. Your first order of business is to set him at ease. His first concern is that you may find his fantasy upsetting. Assure him that breaking down this barrier will benefit your relationship in many ways. Opening up to each other is healthy and will help build a solid, unified relationship.
Once you’ve assured him that he can confide in you, the next step is to use effective questions. To get him talking about his fantasy, ask questions that bring out details. How does it begin? Where is it happening? What acts or positions are going on? What about the fantasy excites him? When does he climax? You can also enhance the details by adding your own comments. Excite him with your participation.
A great time to bring out these conversations is at night, while laying in bed. Done correctly, this can be a personal romantic time that will flame the fires of passion. This should be an enjoyable experience for both of you. Be playful. Let your mind go and indulge in the moment. You now have the power to unleash the tiger in him (or her). Enjoy!
It’s really good to always talk to your partner regarding issues about sex. Open communication is always the key to a happy sex life. My husband and I are happy because of the simplest things. We always take the time to sit down and talk about our desires and frustrations even. We’re also open for requests, like if he wants to try something new, or I want to try something new. I think this kind of setup between couples are great, because it lessens the possibility of your partner to cheat and look for his pleasures somewhere else outside the relationship.
I really agree with this.
Fantasies can only go at a certain extent. I’d hate to disappoint… Even my man can’t fulfill my fantasy.
I agree that awareness is really power. If you don’t know what your partner wants, then you’re lost.?
A naked apron, A slutty maid, A slutty nurse, A slutty professor. And the fantastic Slave Leia from star wars. Do this at least once and I guarantee. You will know what an orgasm is right after.
You are very right! Successful partners can talk about everything… including sexual desires and pleasure.
Oh yeah, what he says or his confessions about sexual likes and dislikes are sometimes surprising 🙂
I agree with Sara (and Sarah!). Communication is key. Fantasies can be a great way to be more playful and intimate with your partner, but it'll only happen if you both feel that it's safe to go there.
I talk to my partner and ask him what he really likes. I’m lucky enough that most of the time, he says he enjoyed (or not enjoyed) what we did for the day.
This way, I know where I’m good at and what to do. I believe that if I know what he wants (and expects), we’ll have a better, more enjoyable and more satisfying sex life.
Finding out your partner’s sexual desires are very important in a healthy relationship. You might be surprised by what your partner says , it may be something that you would be into as well.
The best sex lives are those where partners are completely open with each other. So many couples are too shy to talk about what they like and dislike! Speak your mind and you'll get what you want. Great advice!