“Having it all” can be a pretty tall order to fill — loving marriage, fulfilling career, stylish home, well-behaved children, flat abs, homemade dinners. Yes, comparing real life to the perfect pictures on Instagram, Pinterest and Facebook can be incredibly discouraging, especially when your kids are running rampant and dinner is plain-jane grilled cheese. Again.
Fortunately, the secret to balancing all of these important aspects of your life is knowing when to step back and invest in romance. Romance is often the first aspect to get sacrificed, but if you can keep the romance alive then smiling through life’s annoyances and balancing work with soccer practice will feel a whole lot easier.
Psychology Today claims that happy couples have 20 positive daily interactions for every negative one. Intrigued? Follow these five tips to carve out a little more time for romance and watch as your life’s balance melts into place:
Plan Ahead
Many of your most important to-do items get done regularly and naturally. Your next salon visit is booked on your calendar a month in advance. Your bills are paid through automatic bill pay. Your grocery list is posted on your refrigerator for daily updating. Why not approach quality time with your spouse in the same way? Take a few minutes with your hubby to commit to some monthly dates. Establish a comfortable budget, and alternate who plans the date. Planning ahead like this is the only way to snag a romantic weekend getaway at a bed and breakfast, or concert tickets to see your favorite musician.
Make Time for Small Luxuries
Date nights don’t have to be huge events. Plan a relaxing night at home instead. Text your spouse throughout the day to tell them you love and miss them, and that you’re excited for date night. Buy a bouquet of lavender for your nightstand or order a fresh flower arrangement for the dining room table. Put on some jazz, spread a blanket on your bedroom floor, and have a wine, chocolate and cheese picnic after the kids are in bed. It might seem goofy, but the change of routine will spark some conversation and refresh your flagging spirits for the rest of the week.
Give Back to Others
Studies show that people who volunteer to help others are healthier and less stressed. Combine these benefits with quality couple time by planning a date to volunteer together. Shovel an elderly neighbor’s sidewalk. Walk dogs at a local animal shelter. Pass out flowers to strangers on a busy street corner. The cheer you share with others will inspire you and may even ignite a new admiration for your spouse.
Sweat Together
According to the Mayo Clinic, exercise boosts energy and improves mood. Want a little extra motivation to get moving? Nab your spouse as your new biking buddy. You will both be invested in the results, plus conquering a new health goal will strengthen your bond and provide something concrete to brag about your spouse at his next work party.
Turn off Work
Turn off your work, literally. Establish a specific space and business hours for yourself with a clear start and end. After 6pm, for example, shutdown your computer and leave your home office regardless of the email barrage filling your inbox. Shut the door and start the home part of your day. Set your phone to notify you of new messages only from your personal accounts. After the kids are in bed, shut down all electronic devices and just talk with your spouse for 30 minutes. Catch up on work news. Compare calendars and get on the same page about your upcoming obligations. Dream about your next vacation. Read the newspaper together. This daily, focused time together doesn’t take much work and it will have huge payoffs in the long run.
This is what I need to read! I’m experiencing emotional stress at the moment *sigh*
I’d like to add: develop small and consistent habits with your partner 😉
yeah, like doing chores together or cooking dinner at home. it creates bonding time and at the same time having fun.
Great point! Thanks for the extra tips, guys! ❤
Time management is an important element — it’s important to make time for small luxuries.
Very helpful! Sometimes it’s hard to maintain connection amid intense schedules!
Totally. I find it very hard to hard to handle multiple desires — career success and relationships!
When I’m with my special someone, I make sure work doesn’t distract my attention.
Thanks for the tips. I most of the time struggle juggling career, ambition and relationship…
My boyfriend and I make it a habit to schedule a date night every Thursday (and it CAN’T BE RESCHEDULED). This way, we find quality time together to look forward to…
That’s a great idea. 🙂