How to Spot and Trap a Lumbersexual - URBANETTE: Lifestyle Magazine & Blog

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How to Spot and Trap a Lumbersexual

Because really, why not?

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If you’re a regular reader of Urbanette, then you know that we have a tenancy to veer to the serious side sometimes. That’s why we thought it was high time we brought you something sexy, silly, and fun. Cue the lumbersexuals!

How to Spot and Trap a Lumbersexual

Lumbersexuals are So. Hot. Right. Now.

In case you’re unfamiliar, there are two kinds of lumbersexuals: the fake kind and the sexy kind. Here’s how to spot the real ones, weed out the hipsters, and get over the fact that you’ve fallen for a beard-sporting, flannel-loving, Army boot-wearing man (who also may wear faux glasses and a droopy beanie that your dad makes fun of because hey, nobody is perfect).

Best Places to Find a Lumbersexual

Rock climbing gyms, live music venues, Frisbee golf courses, the lake, the river, the hardware store — this is where you find real lumbersexuals. They are at bars, too (but then again, so are the lumbering not-so-sexuals).

How to Spot and Trap a Lumbersexual

Celebrity men are adopting the sexy lumbersexual look – in droves!

How to Avoid the Lumbering Not-So-Sexuals

Are his pants so tight that his thigh gap is wider than yours? Is he wearing Tom’s? Drinking a hard cider? This lumbering not-so-sexual may own a lot of plaid and have poor grooming habits, but odds are, he doesn’t know how to do many of the things that make real lumbersexuals so intoxicating. The allure of the lumbersexual is a manliness with an edge of fashionability, right? Well, consider this a guy a designer knockoff and beware!

How to Spot and Trap a Lumbersexual

This guy’s a faux-lumbersexual, but TBH I’d take him home anyway!

How to Deal with His Fake Glasses

Fake glasses? That serve no medical purpose whatsoever? What is next, lumbersexuals? A plastic ax? What if we put a little fake bird on your shoulder like the kind my aunt gets from craft stores?

How to Spot and Trap a LumbersexualWe may hate on the faux rims fad but dangit, at least this guy has some guts. It’s kinda refreshing to meet a guy who is rugged and still likes to accessorize, right? And really, fake glasses are a ridiculous thing in concept, but we lie about fake eyelashes and summer highlights, so why shouldn’t men have their little secrets, too?

Still not feeling it? If you really hate them, you could just ‘accidentally’ squish them while packing his CamelBak for a surprise day hike… whoops! He can always get another $10 pair, but in the meantime tell him how hot he looks without them.

How to Spot and Trap a Lumbersexual

How to Deal with His Droopy Beanie

We all know this look. The hottest guy in the room sporting a beanie that looks like a deflated balloon taped to the back of his head. Is it just me, or is a beanie only hot when it looks like he would snowboard in it? The lumbersexual is all about gettin’ things done, using tools and being efficient. So an emo beanie just doesn’t cut it. Get him something structured, strong and knitted, with ear flaps or faux fur/leather and buckle detail. His desire to wear cheeky accessories will take over and break him from his sad droopy beanie habit.
How to Spot and Trap a Lumbersexual

All Flannel, All the Time

Over the last few years, we’ve all become experts at spotting a flannel from across the room in a sea of no-effort T-shirts. It’s a beacon of hope that there are still manly men out there who can build you a house AND help you decorate it, too (or at least be willing to look through the Pinterest board).

The expanding population of smart, dare-we-say sophisticated lumbersexuals is a pretty encouraging development. And the fashion world is even taking notice. The Guardian calls the trend “faux-hobo” and boasts the practicality of the style. That’s right. It’s finally fashionable to be practical. Oh wait, it always was — for men, anyway. Sorry, ladies.

Now that you’ve found your lumbersexual and fallen for him like a tree in the forest and you don’t care who hears it, make sure you two stay cozy all winter long. Get some legit matching flannels and get to studying up on whatever gets this grizzly god of plaid outside and smiling.

Are you obsessed with lumbersexuals too? Do tell!

Sarah enlightens us on a daily basis with the newest trends as (and often before) they transpire. She is the consummate globe trotter. Having traveled to over 70 countries, she earns her living writing, blogging (InsiderDiva.com) and modeling while on the road. In her spare time she gets manicures, suntans on yachts in Greece, shops for even more shoes, and lives in the limelight. She loves photography, elephants, sailboats, bangles and ballet flats.

Reader Discussion: 122 Comments

  1. Marie Moreno

    I think the modern day male country stars have a lot to do with this look such as Luke Bryan and Jake Owen.

  2. Henrietta Morgan

    I’m so disappointed that men like hipster fashion instead of this. There’s just something attractive about how men look really masculine. I think men look really powerful when they show that they’re capable of manual labor. I think those are the type of men you would really want to be around with and are supposed to keep. Like come on, I don’t want to marry someone who can’t do simple things around the house because that would be really irritating.

  3. Francis Jennings

    I hate all the negative comments. What’s wrong with wearing flannel shirts and having a beard? You don’t need to be a homesteader to be comfortable when it’s cold outside. I hope wearing basketball shorts and a t-shirt on the weekends doesn’t ever come under fire. I’ll be screwed.

  4. Tom Mills

    I think those people who qualify themselves as a lumbersexual are trying to compensate for the embarrassment of previously qualifying themselves as metrosexual.

  5. ERICA

    Lumbersexual is just a play on the term metrosexual. They are essentially metrosexual men that attempt to attain a traditional lumberjack look yet no other traits of that type of man.

  6. I prefer men who are simple. The fashionable men I’ve met are all assholes and they seem to care only about themselves.

  7. The sad thing is Lumbersexual is probably a real sexuality or “Gender” according to Tumblr.

  8. David Carter

    To all the people who are saying they don’t get it, I can’t believe you’ve never seen the entire lumber sexual trend among people looking exactly like this. Wtf

  9. Greg Murphy

    Yeah, never heard of them. In my country, hipsters wear large fake glasses, fake braces, and denim suspenders. This lumbersexual look is a better look.

  10. Gloria Beck

    They don’t fool me. To pull this look off you have to reject the capitalist set of values. And you have to go to the woods at least once a year otherwise you are just a faker. To those who do, well done.

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