The last time I went out with a friend, we spent most of the night commiserating about our love lives (or, rather, the lack thereof), and the rest complaining about our mutual friend who’d all but gone MIA after meeting her latest “might be the one” boyfriend. We’d tried going to a party, but found that we’d rather spend it sitting together than socializing with other people.
The search for love is everywhere. In our books, movies, TV shows, and in the way we talk to each other. It’s clear that romance is on our collective minds. Many of us prioritize finding love over pretty much every other aspect of our lives. Everyone searching for their soulmate wants to find that special someone so they can skip ahead to their ‘Happily Ever After’.
But why do we limit that to romance? Love, trust, great memories—they don’t have to be restricted to the sphere of romantic relationships. In this culture-split between hookups and finding love, we’ve forgotten about our friends. And yet close friendships are absolutely integral to our happiness. As we search for our soulmate, we should also be on the lookout for our friend soulmates.
The ones who can make you laugh at anything and talk you out of crying. The ones who make a supportive comment right when you expect them to take the mickey out of you. The ones who solve your life crises. The ones who know you, who have seen all your flaws and love you for them. I know it sounds nauseatingly cheesy, but are they not your soulmates too?
I met my closest friends in high school and college, and to say they’ve made my life blessed is the understatement of the year. Somewhere between the sleepovers, the excess mango-passion-fruit smoothies, and our unending enthusiasm for the same movies and books, they became my best friends and I love them more than anyone.
We’ve become so distracted by the complications of romance love that we’ve forgotten about the beauty of platonic love.
But the value of friendships is often undermined. We’ve become so distracted by our focus on romance that we’ve forgotten about the beauty of platonic love. We say things like “we’re just friends,” as though friendship was somehow a lesser form of relating to another human being. The last time I broke up with a boyfriend, the first comforting phrase I got was, “At least you have your friends.” But there’s nothing at least about my friends. They are the most beautiful parts of my life.
My close friends and I fulfill each other in ways that I’m learning to acknowledge and appreciate. I now tell my friends that I love them, and I let them know just how much I appreciate them. We bring out the best in each other and enrich each other’s lives. That’s why focusing on your friendships is just as important as finding romance.
Take the time to talk your friends through hard times, revel in your inside jokes and shared passions, support their dreams, and keep in touch despite any distance. If you do, you’ll be rewarded with the kind of soulmate that transcends romance. It’s not the fairytale ending romantic comedies taught us to aspire to. In many ways, it’s better.
Of course, finding love is valuable and worthwhile. But don’t ever let your friends fall by the wayside because of romance. They’re just as important as your significant other. And, if you treat them right, you just might find that you have a true partner for life.
This article hits home!! I feel like my life is just beginning. I am about to graduate with my associates. I aiming for a master’s degree. I love being single. I don’t like being controlled. I saw it happen alot growing up and I learned to hate it. Like, if I have to ask you permission to go somewhere, then we’re done. you’re role is to be a partner not a parent. No trust, no love. I hope to find my significant other one day, but until then I enjoy just doing me. My hair is growing, my eyebrow game is getting better, I am loving life right now. 🙂
You DON’T need a boyfriend to be happy, I agree. You should be with a guy because you’re in love with them, not because you feel forever alone. I do love my boyfriend, but I’m not dependent on him.
Thanks for this… I was just complaining to my friend yesterday how my divorce left me hating all men out there.. and its so sad how bitter and somewhat insecure it made me.. although people see me as an extremly confident person.. the hurt continues..not due to the divorce.. but really due to the horrible relationship I was in.. how blind was I?? Seriously.. 2016 will be my year.. the year where I discover how to love me..because I seriously am on of the most amazing people I know?!! 😉
Brilliant post! All I have to say is: You don’t need a boyfriend to feel loved. You don’t need cool clothes to be noticed. You don’t need to impress to feel special. Just remember: you are you and that’s all that matters. ?? 🙂
“Oh, my life is so bountiful, I don’t need a boyfriend to feel fulfilled” – Blair Waldorf ~ Need I say more? 😉
Great article! Have plenty of friends who need to hear this as I am one of the few who is choosing to focus on herself and life purpose. Happiest I have ever been! 🙂
Thank you so much for writing this, it came at a very crucial time in my life, such excellent reminders!!! Truly boosted my spirits and helped me get my mind right!!
I had just told myself that I needed to get a boyfriend. This article reminded me I should continue to live life to the fullest and look forward to the future with great expectation.
This is an excellent article. I find that many women in my life forget the joy of being single and having the opportunity to explore one’s sense of self and developing true character. I love men, but there is something special about accomplishing goals and pursuing new interests without one.
I have been single for years and I have struggled only because society feels uncomfortable with me being happy in this state……if I ever meet the right guy I will happily pursue a relationship until then I relish the freedom and joy my single life provides me.
Same. My relatives always wonder why I still don’t have a boyfriend. But how could I have one if I don’t romantically like anyone yet?