Let’s face it, ladies. After the sexy honeymoon phase and the initial butterflies, the dynamics in a relationship are bound to change with time. The longer you remain in a relationship, the more likely you are to hit a point where he (or she) takes you for granted.
No need to freak out just yet though. This isn’t reason enough to assume that he doesn’t love you anymore. Rather, his behavior may simply indicate that he views you as a staple in his life, someone he knows he can count on. Your job, however, is to remind him that even if you are, it doesn’t excuse him from putting in effort to make you feel valued.
To prevent the relationship from further cementing itself into a monotonous routine, give these first-hand tips a try:
1) Change it up
Do you feel like he (or she) isn’t putting any effort into the relationship? His (probably subconscious) reasoning for why he acts the way he does can most likely be attributed to the fact that your routine with him has already been set. For example, you may meet on the same evenings or days each week, get take-out from the same restaurant and watch the same shows on Hulu. While that may feel comfortable, it would be a surprise to find anyone who wouldn’t get bored with the regularity of never-changing plans.
Try suggesting new places to eat, spend an evening outdoors, go to a concert, or get a group of friends together. Aim to do something new or different once every week or week and a half. Make a pact to surprise each other at least once a month with secret and romantic date night plans.
2) Communicate
Generally, as a rule of thumb, it’s encouraged to give men space, at least in the early dating stages, and allow them to do most of the planning and pursuing. Allow him take the initiative and go at his own pace. If you’re always leading or planning things, this might set the pattern for the rest of the relationship/courtship and eventually leave you feeling taken for granted.
Though it’s important to let him know how you feel, make it a point to remind him how relationships require effort from both parties, not just one. It’s not acceptable for him to think or act like he can just show up and not take the time to invest, care, or plan.
Be careful of the way you approach this conversation — if he (or she) feels like he is being attacked, it is likely that he’ll get defensive about how he’s been acting, rather than open-minded.
3) Get your own life
Similar to changing your routine, constantly being available to your man can indirectly tell him that you’ll always be there at his beck-and-call. This doesn’t mean that you should never see him or that he needs to plummet on your list of priorities, but giving each other the space to do your own thing will also give you both the chance to miss each other and value the time you spend together.
Has it been awhile since you met with your girlfriends? When was the last time you were able to pamper yourself with some TLC?
The healthiest relationships I know are the ones that value how time is spent, both apart and together. Being in a relationship or being married doesn’t mean that you both fuse into one person or that you lose yourself in the other. You are meant to share your lives together, not be dictated by it.
But despite all these suggestions, which are good for any relationship, if a guy is taking you for granted, maybe it’s simply time to move on and find someone who won’t…
To avoid being taken for granted, just leave the person.
Ladies, don’t let a man make you feel like this. ???
I did these 3 things in my relationship and I knew I probably did more. But it still didn’t work out.
#1 may be a good idea, but I feel like he’s the one that should be initiating something like this. First of all, when women start feeling taken for granted, it’s mostly because men have neglected to do something in the relationship. In my case, I didn’t stop trying to make it work. So I guess it’s time for my man to do something too, right? I know we live in an era wherein women should be as assertive as men, but #1 here should depend on the situation.
You have a point. Sometimes, men are the ones who need to do this for us. Especially if they genuinely care about us and don’t want to lose us.
Don’t be so serious all the time. A little playfulness can help ease the tension that can make you fed up talking with each other. Teasing and silly nicknames help us handle tough stuff in our relationship.
You know what, I did all of this but all it resulted to was for me to beg for the love and attention I think I deserved. But in the end, I got none of it because he kept claiming that he wasn’t losing sweetness or interest. The problem was that I perfectly knew that he does love me, but he just feels so used to me that I’m going to stick around. He knew I wouldn’t leave even if our relationship grew boring and we grew tired of making efforts in keeping the fire burning…
I was in a 5 year relationship with my now ex-boyfriend. I must agree that he really did change a lot after the mark of 2 years. He was so sure that no matter what he does, I’ll stick around. What hurts is that I knew that he used to make even the slightest of efforts to keep me, but after being together for 2 years, the little things were gone and he made no effort at all. I felt like we would go on dates and we’d eat, then I’d go home, repeat. Not that I want him to take me on fancy ones, but yeah. I got bored of the relationship.
It’s the routine, but if he didn’t try at all, I’m sure you don’t deserve him, sis!
Occasional wake-up sex can make a huge difference! LOL! Seriously, though, if you give him a little surprise in the morning, he won’t forget you for the rest of the day! It’s a fun break in your bedtime routine, too!
I think I’ll try this one! I just hope that it’ll work for me!
My mom and dad are goals, my dad still gives her flowers and takes her on dinner dates. It has given me quite a high standard if by any chance I’m going to date someone.
What I learned is that when a person values you, he/she will never stop trying to win you, even if you’re already together.