Sitting in a cafe in midtown Manhattan, I observe two young women. Both are mid-20s, attractive and on the slimmer side of average. They are talking animatedly about something. Curious, I lean in. I suspect that they are talking about a saucy first date, a juicy piece of workplace gossip, or at least a scandalous Tweet. But no, they are talking about their weights. They are talking about how they plan to tighten and tone “just a little more.” One of them is on a gluten-free diet. The other is on a strict cross-training schedule. Both have stopped drinking alcohol and eliminated sweets. These are pretty, healthy-looking girls, not the kind you would expect to have such concerns. As they continue to chat, I have to wonder what, or for whom they are doing this for.
It’s become common to hear about the way society, the media and the world at large place unreasonable demands upon a woman’s appearance. So common in fact that further discussion seems redundant. Well, I’m not here to reiterate what you’ve already heard. I’m here to propose that we change the conversation.
Trying to empower women by trying to convince people that every woman is beautiful is a well-intentioned but misguided effort.
A counter movement is happening, and that movement says that we should expand our definition of what is beautiful. There are girls whose images you can see transformed from unpolished start to airbrushed finish on YouTube. With a quick internet search, you can see pictures of mothers pre-pregnancy and post-pregnancy. And they are proud of the contrast. The Dove Real Beauty campaign demonstrated how respecting women as humans rather than objects can translate into profits. These types of efforts will continue. They challenge our preconceived notions of what’s beautiful, and that’s a good thing.
But the problem with these types of efforts is that they’re all still focused on the way that a woman looks. The real question is, why is being beautiful the focus at all? Whether a woman is “beautiful” or not, it’s a shame that her value seems be so tied up with her appearance. Trying to empower women by trying to convince people that every woman is beautiful is a well-intentioned but misguided effort. It’s asking people to look beyond the superficial without actually going beyond the surface. It’s shining the spotlight on what we’re asking people to overlook while failing to provide an alternative focus.
Rather than focusing on expanding our idea of “beautiful,” let’s expand our idea of how we measure worth. Let’s stop talking about a woman’s appearance altogether. Let’s shift our attention to the work she’s doing, the kindness that she shows, the strength she shares and the difference she’s making in the world. Let’s stop talking about bodies and faces and start talking about the people who wear them.
What do you think are the pros and cons
of expanding the idea of what is beautiful?
Do you think these types of efforts are more
or less empowering to women and why?
We’d love to hear your thoughts below!
I would rather live a happier life, than making my life suffer to look beautiful. A happy woman is the beautiful one, right?
Looks are important in this life. If you’re applying for a job, they require a person with a pleasing personality. Let us just accept that in this world, the word “beauty” not going away.
From my point of view, I believe most women on TV these days are far from attractive. Skinny buggers that look like deck chairs. If I’ll give advice to women, I would say, “it doesn’t matter what you look like, if you dress classy, you look classy.”
I believe that I am beautiful. I didn’t mean that I am beautiful outside, but inside. The real beauty for me is inside, not from the outside.
We are all beautiful. That is for real. Everyone has their own perspective of beauty.
What’s wrong with talking about getting slim? Maybe they only want to be slim because they want to be healthy, and not to look beautiful.
In my opinion, it is empowering. We should not stick on our perspective that woman is beautiful if they are sexy, and has a perfect face.
I always tell my wife that I don’t care how she looks. As long as she’s the one I married I will love her eternally.
Pros and cons? Hmmm.. If we just focus more on the woman’s worth than her beauty, we can all be happy.
You’re just giving them false hopes. If we just accept the fact that men look at their physical appearance first, before knowing the real attitude of a woman.
Being beautiful is not just about the looks, but in the attitude as well. Expanding the idea of how we should see the beauty can empower women, but not all of them.