Life is short, and as cliché as it may sound, the reality is that you only have one life to live — make the most out of it. I think about this on a regular basis, and it’s a big part of the reason that I moved from NYC to France. Because I knew that in order to seize the day and be as happy as possible, it’s important to constantly reevaluate all aspects of life: where to live, work, who to be friends with, etc.
While many people live their life to the fullest, some don’t and regret it later – as told by those dying, who had many regrets according to a book “The Top Regrets of the Dying,” by Bronnie Ware, an Australian nurse who spent most of her time in palliative (end of life) care and recorded the top five regrets of her terminal patients. Her list is as follows:
# 1. I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.
According to Bronnie, this was the most common regret she heard from those who passed away. She writes: “When people realize that their life is almost over and look back clearly on it, it is easy to see how many dreams have gone unfulfilled. Most people had not honored even a half of their dreams and had to die knowing that it was due to choices they had made, or not made.”
You’re the one who makes your life. Don’t let anyone else dictate what you should do since it’s your future. Honor your dreams. If you want to be an artist but your parents want you to be a doctor, follow what your heart because in the end, your happiness is what matters the most.
# 2. I wish I hadn’t worked so hard.
The fact is we have to work. With the unstable economy nowadays, many work more than two jobs to support themselves and their families. Bronnie said that this regret was common among male patients she handled, but women also suffer this regret. They regret working so hard because they missed the growing stage of their children or their partner’s companionship because they were busy being breadwinners. Learn to balance by dividing time for work and time for family and friends. The key here is time management and essentially, work-life balance.
# 3. I wish I had the courage to express my feelings.
We tend to keep comments to ourselves to avoid conflict. Bronnie wrote: “As a result, they settled for a mediocre existence and never became who they were truly capable of becoming. Many ended up developing illnesses relating to the bitterness and resentment they carried.”
We can’t control others or their opinions, but there’s nothing more important than being yourself. Be honest; for nothing is more important than expressing yourself. Remember: many will appreciate it.
# 4. I wish I’d stayed in touch with my friends.
No man is an island. Many have forgotten friends who once mattered to them. It’s important to stay in touch with those people who stuck by you. Cherish them because they simply love you.
# 5. I wish I’d let myself be happier.
Bronnie said that this was one of the common quotes she heard. “Many did not realize until the end that happiness is a choice. They had stayed stuck in old patterns and habits. The so-called ‘comfort’ of familiarity overflowed into their emotions, as well as their physical lives. Fear of change had them pretending to others, and to themselves, that they were content, when deep within, they longed to laugh properly and have silliness in their life again,” she wrote.
Happiness is indeed a choice. If you want to be happy be happy. If you want to wallow in misery, then so be it. If you don’t believe me, watch the movie Life is Beautiful.
While we often have struggles and trials, it’s either you choose to face it with a glass half-full mentality or the other way around. There’s nothing wrong in making others happy, but it’s also important that you be happy yourself.
In the end, it’s all about making choices. Live your life to the fullest. Be wise, honest and happy while you can. And never stop trying to improve yourself.
Oh, and on a bit of a morbid note, don’t forget to make a will! In ours, we assigned Mercy for Animals as our sole benefactor, since we don’t have kids. It’s never too soon to make a will, because, well, you just never know…
I want to be a dentist and have been in the school for 3 years now. I think my dream of becoming a dentist at 25 seemed pretty absurd to people. But I set a big long term goal with tons and tons of little milestones along the way which helped facilitate the growth necessary for me to earn the title.
A lot of people here climbed up the right ladder only to realize that it was propped up against the wrong wall…
Very interesting read, now to try to apply it to myself!
Pretty haunting and inspiring stuff. Thanks for posting. I’m going to sit down and rethink what I wanna do with my life.
This was really interesting to read but it made me more depressed than motivated… Still interesting to read.
Great post, honestly. I’m constantly amazed by things that are obvious, yet we need to keep learning them over and over.
I regret I didn’t have the courage to do so many things, to be so afraid even to be. Now I regret that I didn’t “have the time” to ask my crush to go out with me
I wish I could have been actually living, not just getting by.
If I die right now I’ll regret not travelling. I have a decent level of anxiety which prohibits me from getting on a plane. There is so much of the world I’m too afraid to see.
I can relate. Being on autopilot too much and not living in the moment. I’m constantly planning for crap and just trying to get through the week or month without realising that that’s life right there.