Not everyone is lucky enough to get –and beat– cancer in their early 30’s. Sound like a strange thing to say? I don’t think it is. Let me explain why.
I’d been feeling low-energy for a few months, and had been getting crazy 4-day-long crippling migraines. That, coupled with an itchy rash that kept me up all night every night scratching, had me feeling like I was in my early 80’s, not my early 30’s. I went to see doctor after doctor who prescribed various pharmaceuticals that did nothing to make me feel better — or only helped temporarily. Two doctors even insisted that I had “chronic Lyme Disease” and tried to get me to go on aggressive courses of antibiotics (which I declined, I’m happy to say).
Finally, after over a year of this, I learned that I’d have to take my health into my own hands if I was to get better, and I started doing a ton of online research. I’d like to say it was me who figured out that I had cancer, but it was, in fact, my mother’s startlingly effective research skills that cracked this case almost a year and a half after I first got sick, and started me on my long journey of recovery.
Here are five reasons why –although having cancer was certainly a harrowing experience not only for me, but for my family– I actually feel lucky to have gone through it:
Always focus on the silver lining
The most important skill I gained from being sick is the ability to see the silver lining in everything. All bad things will pass — eventually. If you look hard enough, you can pull a longer-lasting lesson, appreciation, or some sort of value from every bad thing that’s happened to you. The trick is to focus on that lesson instead of the hurt, and try to see the bad thing that happened as valuable, because of it. I promise, it makes life a lot easier. Positive thinking changes your reality and health.
‘The real voyage of discovery consists not only in seeking new lands but seeing with new eyes.’
-Marcel Proust
Good friends will be there for you in hard times
Having cancer helped teach me who my real friends are — and it surprised me. I got to see who checked in to see how I was doing, and who didn’t. It wasn’t always who I expected.
Love is invaluable
After listening to an audiobook called Radical Remission, and hearing cancer survivor’s stories, I learned that the people who survived had one thing in common: the support of close friends. I would add pets and family to that. Basically — love. In fact, the more true friends they saw regularly, the better off they were health-wise. Love fills life with meaning. It gives us a subconscious reason to live. So I’ve learned to spend less time working and more time talking to my family and hanging with friends. Yes, even if it’s raining or cold outside.
Don’t derive your identity from your accomplishments
When I got sick I realized, sadly, that if I died I would eventually be forgotten and my work-related accomplishments in life would mean very little in the grand scheme of things. I asked myself: if I thought I had one year left in my life, would I regret spending it working? The answer: Hell, yes! So I slowed it all down and started to focus on having more me-time.
Once I separated my identity from my work, I came to the conclusion that what’s really important is having enough money to get by (and pay for medical bills!), and beyond that it’s really all about trying to be happy and have purpose (importantly, healthy people have purpose outside of their own needs and spend time giving back). In other words, do what you can to make a positive difference in the world while you can, and don’t associate personal value with work.
What you eat, drink and smell really does matter
During my quest to figure out that age-old question of “WHY ME?!”, I learned quite a lot about health. I learned that in the USA there are almost zero protections in place to keep us healthy. That means that what you put on your skin and in your mouth needs to be regulated by YOU. Because knowing what’s in your food, what a GMO is and why organic is so much better, why sugar is bad for you, what those chemicals are in your skin cream –and making smart choices based on that– just might save your life someday.
On that note, check these articles out to learn more:
Thank you for writing this
I’m sure writing about it helps with healing 🙂
I couldn’t imagine getting cancer. Scary!!
What a crazy world we live in
You look better than ever!
Cancer is everywhere these days 🙁
I couldn’t survive without my friends…#realfamily
Your mom may have saved your life 🙂
Apart from science and any other therapeutic procedures for you to recover from a disease, you need to think positively. The mind is so powerful, it creates a psychological reaction, thus, if a sick person wants to get well, then he/she must tell himself/himself repetitively that she/she will recover in no time instead of just getting worried with his or her condition. As Napoleon Hill said, “What the mind can conceive , the body can achieve.”
Have you tried this? I mean, I always wanted to try, but I don’t know why I was not convinced yet…
Oh, and I like this quote a lot! 🙂
True friends are those who stand by you in your darkest days. It’s just frustrating that you never know who your true friends are until you experience something like this. My aunt had the same experience. I think, also, that maybe some people care but just don’t know how to react.