6 Ways to Find Your Soulmate

This isn’t your typical “do this and that” article. These tips actually work.


I don’t know about you, but I feel like there’s a lot of confusing advice out there when it comes to dating. You should do this, you shouldn’t do that–it seems like there’s a lot of rules that have more to do with trying to please or not push away a guy rather than tools for creating a truly intimate relationship. I think this must be a female thing. Do you see any men’s magazines with headlines like “Find Out What She’s Thinking,” and “20 Ways to Wow Her”? As women, we really do tend to take too much responsibility for other people’s feelings. As they say, step one is being aware that you have a problem (jk).

6 Ways to Find Your Soulmate

Look beyond what you’ve been taught…

I’d like you to take all of those rules and chuck them out the window. They’re mostly about trying to control the other person’s reactions and interest. This is no way to live and, not to mention, rather ineffective. As much as we’d like to think we can read a guy’s mind, the truth is that we can’t. The best way to get anything you want is to focus on the things that are in your control, not trying to mind-ninja the motives and desires of everyone else around you. When it comes to finding your soulmate–and keeping both of you snugly bunnies happy once you do–this means working to nurture your best and true self.

Here are six easy ways you can increase the odds of finding your soulmate:

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Avatar of Jennifer Spillane

Raised in California and North Carolina, Jen is both an actress and a writer. She loves writing fiction, especially for young adults, and exercising her non-fiction muscles through Urbanette and her chocolate blog: Chocofiles. Jen also loves adventures, yoga, live music and spontaneous dance parties.

Reader Discussion: 88 Comments

  1. Avatar of Mary Beyer

    Mary Beyer

    Be prepared to compromise!!! #soulmate

  2. Avatar of Josephine Murphy

    Thank you so much! Your article put so many things in perspective for me.

  3. Avatar of Isabela Quagliato

    Interesting article! It’s worth reading. Simple but enjoyable.

  4. Avatar of Della Martin

    Della Martin

    More often than not, we overlook the signals of incompatibility and settle for less. These are all helpful, Jennifer!

  5. Avatar of Zoraida Martin

    Zoraida Martin

    Soulmate?! I think it’s a dopey concept…

    • Avatar of Hilary Rowland

      To me, soulmates means someone who is a better match for you than you could have ever imagined. I found my soulmate in my husband. I don’t take it to mean anything religious…

    • Avatar of Jannie Zoot

      Jannie Zoot

      I don’t think so, there’s definitely something that can exist between two people, something so strong and disruptive we can’t really understand

  6. Avatar of Rosalia Russell

    Rosalia Russell

    I wonder — what’s the difference between soulmate and life partner?! ?

    • Avatar of car


      I once met someone, we had the same thoughts at the same time, we were really somehow soulmate… but then it ended, do we have many soulmates or what?

  7. Avatar of Lucy


    I want to find my soulmate, someone who deserves the very best from me (and vice versa)

  8. Avatar of Carmen Griffin

    Carmen Griffin

    I’ve always believed that my soulmate is someone who meets my unconscious list of traits I’m looking for in a partner…

  9. Avatar of Karen Abeyta

    Karen Abeyta

    Thanks for the advice! Going out now to find my soulmate LOL ? ?

  10. Avatar of Andrea Jones

    Andrea Jones

    Go out alone and be a magnet ???✡️

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