I don’t know about you, but getting the best out of every sexual experience is basically my #1 goal in life. I spend most of my afternoons daydreaming about the day I’ll find that perfect someone who’ll sweep me off my feet and give me that wild carnal feeling as we’re both entwined in each other’s arms.
But when I meet someone new, is it possible to predict if he’ll be sexually compatible to my needs — without sleeping with him? Well, here are a few ways I’ve learned to predict sexual compatibility, without wasting a lot of time:
Check Your Body’s Reaction
As you stare at this person, you suddenly felt hot all over. A sudden tingling sensation seems to crawl along your skin; taking in every detail of the person awakens your body, and some parts of your anatomy are starting to get restless… The feeling of just grabbing the guy and running to the nearest bedroom is practically unbearable. Don’t just disregard the feeling, pay attention to it!
Chances are you’ll recognize when you just don’t have a great sexual connection with another person. Honor your intuition.
Considering that this is your reaction we are talking about, keep in mind that (I know, it’s unlikely, but) you might be the only one who’s feeling it. So try to observe his (or her) reaction as well; if he feels the same way about you then he’ll likely be leaning in, touching your hand or thigh, flirting, and making it clear that he’s into you.
Kiss and Tell
A kiss can tell you more than if he (or she) is a good kisser or not. If you know what to look for, a kiss can tell you a lot of things regarding the person’s sexual compatibility with you. First kisses shouldn’t be judged since nerves often get in the way. But the second kiss is fair game. If the kiss is somewhat harried and out of focus, or if he doesn’t put his hand on you (on the back of your head or back, normally) while he’s kissing you, then he’s probably not a good lover. But a wild one, complete with tongue play and carnal lust, may be your ticket to wild night in bed.
You can also judge through the kiss if the person is sexually passionate or a wet blanket (no pun intended!) If he (or she) kisses the usual way then you might end up being the one to teach him how to get your pleasure meter up. But if the kiss lingers while his hands slowly explore your body, then you just stumbled upon a guy who knows his way around the female body – give it your best shot and don’t hold back!
Find Out Their Deal
Spontaneity in a sexual sense is good, but well-laid plans can lead to getting laid well, if you get it right. If you want to find out if he or she is sexually compatible with you then plan out a series of seduction “tests” to make sure that he (or she) has the same taste as you.
We all fall on a spectrum of vanilla to kinky when it comes to our sexual appetites. One guy may be perfectly happy with missionary sex every single time, while the other might need ball gags and blindfolds to get off. Some people use sex to connect, others use it for a release, and others use it to fill a void. A partner who wants sex twice a day is going to have a hard time dating someone who would be fine with once a month.
Finding out where he (or she) stands is critical to determining long-term sexual compatibility. So flirt. Talk about what turns you both on. Ask if he’s into anything kinky, or what he thought of 50 Shades of Gray.
Experience is Always the Best Teacher
To be really sure if you’re compatible, then you may just have to get it on and experience it first hand. Get to know personally if the person is sexually compatible with you by making out. Go to second or third base, but don’t hit a home run.
Take it slow at first; a little foreplay can do wonders at this point. If you’re turning each other on, then you can move it up a notch and start getting a bit more erotic. Let the anticipation build up until you’re really sure you want to go all-the-way, and it’ll be even hotter than if you’d done it sooner.
Consider This
All of this only works if you know yourself. You need to know what you like, how you like it, and how often, in order to figure out how that guy you’ve been on a couple of dates with fits into that picture. The best way to get to know yourself is to touch yourself. When you feel sexual, act on it — by yourself. Figure out your body and what makes you feel sexy. Dress to feel sexy. Cook, if that awakens your senses and makes you feel sexy. Take baths and notice how it feels when you run the soap gently over your skin.
It can be difficult to know how much emphasis to put on sexual compatibility; while most people enjoy great sex, we tend to feel uncomfortable with the thought of ending a relationship over sexual incompatibility. The good news, in my opinion, is that sexual compatibility is not a fixed value. It can actually be improved! Your willingness to work on your sexual relationship is way more important than having identical sex drives and desires. And that’s OK! Life just wouldn’t be interesting if we got what we wanted 100% of the time. You never know — you just may discover a new side of yourself!
Does having same hobbies count? We both like latex and leather and all that jazz. But we never use our toys. We are still saving it for a really really REALLY rainy day.
Is it really that important? I’m still a virgin so I really don’t know. I’m scared and the same time tired of all the guys just wanting to do me because I’m a virgin. I don’t want to be a conquest.
If you grow to 40 and still be a virgin. you will become a fairy.
having a 5 date rule is pretty handy for me. I can learn who he is on that 4 dates and tease so he will crave for the 5th date. If he doesn’t pass my standards there’s no 5th date. a free dinner for 4 days is pretty handy you know.
Meeting someone who is compatible with you in anyway is beyond statistics. keep them no matter what happens.
Sex is actually very essential in a relationship. Whether it’s marriage or just a relationship. We usually overlook this, but even the compatibility part is also essential. It can be a deal breaker for most people when their partner cannot perform at par with their needs. Your partner can have very low sex drive while the other has a high one, it can be a very big problem in the relationship. This is why this article is very helpful to those who are struggling to find those who need a little direction.
I believe this is true. A lot of marriages fail just because of this. That’s the reality.
Funny how this is even a thing. We used to just love people and be contented with that, but now even sex should be within two people who are compatible. We used to just bear with underperforming partners but love them eitherway. I don’t quite understand anymore what the purpose of this is, if it’s really an issue of respecting your own body or just the fact that people care too much about sex to the point that it’s been the basis of a good relationship. Two people can be very bad at sex but still have fun because they talk about it and they love each other.
It really can. It may not be an issue to most women but it can be, to some men.
It would be nice if the article offered more than just this. I think I’m in need of dire help on this part.
It’s devastating to know that not everyone could be compatible to you sexually. I’ve met men who I enjoy hanging out with and we’ve made deep emotional connections, but I can never get over the fact that they still lack something.
Everyone has some level of sexual dysfunction and I find that it’s mostly because they’re with partners who aren’t compatible to them– thus, not being able to meet their expectations in bed. Although it may seem like a shallow topic to be the root of a bigger issue, it can really be the biggest contributor.
I find this very significant. It can be very helpful to those who aren’t having great luck.