If you’re human, you’ve probably had at least one bad week in your life when nothing seemed to go right. That guy (or girl) you’re dating has decided it’s time for “a break” and on the very same day you get scolded at work for a costly mistake. On top of it all, you realize the needle on the scale is going in the wrong direction after you’ve spent more than a few nights drowning yourself in a quart of rocky road ice cream. These periods of doubt can take your confidence levels down at least a notch or two, but you don’t have to let them define you.
When things go wrong, it’s easy to fall into a pattern of negative thinking that ultimately plunges confidence and self-esteem to even lower depths, creating a vicious cycle. For example, studies show that women who appear more confident win out over a women who are perceived as traditionally more attractive when it comes to how many times they are approached at bars.
So don’t just talk about changing, do it. Take control of your confidence and you’re bound to see your happiness level increase significantly. Here’s how:
Get Out There
Hanging with your friends and going on dates are two ways to make you feel alive again. Ring up your friends and ask them to meet up at a bar with fun, happy music you like (here are our picks of the best NYC rooftop bars). Or have them over for a fun girl’s night.
Another way to make yourself feel better is to get online and sign up for online dating (here’s a comparison of the top dating sites). If you’re not ready to go on dates again, I understand. Believe me, I’ve been there. I’ve actually cried telling my new date about my ex — on our first date. So embarrassing! Waiting to go on dates until I could talk about my breakup without bawling would’ve been a good idea. That said, there’s no harm in looking online and, once you’re ready, there’s no better way to get a little boost than by going on a few dates.
Improve Your Posture
If you walk into a room with your head down and your eyes on the floor, you probably aren’t feeling very confident and you’re projecting that. Even if you’re a mess inside, standing taller and appearing more confident may cause you to believe in yourself. Your body posture affects what others think about you and also what you think about yourself. Stand up straight and make eye contact for an immediate confidence boost.
Dress Better and Change Up Your Appearance
What’s in your closet can help you project your best image, significantly boosting your confidence level. How we dress can reflect the level of our self-esteem, so it may be time to assess what you’re wearing and make an effort to improve it. If you aren’t sure where to start, there are a number of fashion apps that help you use your current wardrobe to create effortlessly chic styles, or allow you to take pictures of your clothes and spin them around to make new combinations.
Making an appearance change like a new hairstyle or switching out your glasses for colored contact lenses, can make a dramatic difference that is sure to make you feel more confident.
Work Out
Exercising on a regular basis makes you feel in control of your own health, making you a more confident person. Physical activity also helps to battle the effects of stress, keeping you both mentally and physically strong so your confidence isn’t derailed by minor setbacks. Plus, if you’re in good shape, your clothes will fit better, you’ll stand taller and you’ll have more energy to do what it takes to succeed. Being fit allows you to be the very best version of yourself.
Be Creative
Getting in touch with your creative side can make you happier and healthier. There are numerous studies on the beneficial effects of creativity. Not only can being creative help your health, but it can also help you at work by opening you up to innovation and inspiration. Anyone can be creative, it’s not about skill or talent. Whether it’s dancing alone in your house, baking cupcakes, painting a picture or repurposing furniture, creativity will boost your mental health and overall wellbeing.
Challenge Yourself to Master Something New
Challenge yourself by getting out of your comfort zone and mastering something new. Whether it’s a new sport or getting over your biggest fear, the accomplishment is bound to give you a huge shot of confidence. You’ll feel better about yourself, which may even inspire you to achieve yet another hard-fought goal, bringing even more confidence, and so on.
Before you know it, the sky’s the limit. You can do or accomplish almost anything your heart desires because now you’ve got your mojo back!
Want more? Here’s 10 ways to deal with a breakup.
I remember seeing this video about how these people learned to look after themselves versus the person who they were before they figured how to look after themselves. It was such a crazy transformation. All they needed was to pay attention to how they dress, how they groom themselves and it was already a big thing. I know that these are physical aspects, but whether we like it or not, if we’re feeling all ugly and shitty, it’s bound to manifest over how we perform in our daily lives. We won’t feel confident to do great because we don’t feel great.
True. Others may think it’s shallow that a new hairdo can make us feel like we’re living a brand new life, but it actually has REAL impact.
We’re all so prone to feeling like this. I don’t know why but the world is so toxic nowadays. It’s like we have to rush all the time and we can’t just “stop and smell the flowers”.
Feeling like you’ve lost your mojo is completely normal. We get it quite often in a year, especially when our lifestyle is a fast paced one.
I kind of dislike the idea that most of the things here have something to do with physical appearance. Sure, it boosts your confidence. But I’m not going to feel better or get my mojo back just with that. I would rather that I learn to process my emotions better, no matter what it is that I’m going through. Kind of like doing something uplifting other than getting a new hairdo, exercising or something… I do appreciate that you added things like being creative and stuff… Maybe that will make a difference.
Totally! Meditating helps with processing emotions. There are lots of methods to meditate. I like an app called Headspace. 🙂
Uhm, the suggestions aren’t all about physical appearance. She was just pointing out that if you feel better about yourself, it can reflect.
Thanks for the advice that’s here. I do get moments like this and it feels draining and heavy.
I think losing our mojo is something similar to feeling burned out. It’s like an energy that can be recharged, but not fully lost. Connect with things that you love and inspire you, because that’s what will recharge you from being too drained because of your daily life and struggles. Once you’ve figured out what ‘recharges’ you, do it and find your strength to move on. There are times wherein you have to find multiple things that recharge you because it can be ineffective at times because of extreme circumstances.
I remember how it is in the movies wherein women cut their hair and dye it crazy colors when they undergo breakup.?
If I’m feeling uninspired, I try to engage in an activity that makes me feel adventurous. Usually, activities like this or taking a vacation usually helps me get my mojo back. The activities I usually do is hiking, beach vacations that have island hoppings, scuba divings, or any other water sports. Experiences like that helps me feel emotionally refreshed. I don’t know how to explain it, but that’s the closest word I could think of – refreshed. If I can’t go on a vacation, my immediate cure is to research about new activities that I can do within the city I live in. Like new museums, new restaurants, etc. Just anything new to feel freshened up.
I know what you mean. I do feel like that after a vacation and I feel twice as productive.
Working out makes me feel better. I think it’s because I know that I’m doing something healthy.
I’m going to share this article to my bestie. She’s been feeling a little low lately and seems unmotivated. Thank you, Urbanette!