If you’re human, you’ve probably had at least one bad week in your life when nothing seemed to go right. That guy (or girl) you’re dating has decided it’s time for “a break” and on the very same day you get scolded at work for a costly mistake. On top of it all, you realize the needle on the scale is going in the wrong direction after you’ve spent more than a few nights drowning yourself in a quart of rocky road ice cream. These periods of doubt can take your confidence levels down at least a notch or two, but you don’t have to let them define you.
When things go wrong, it’s easy to fall into a pattern of negative thinking that ultimately plunges confidence and self-esteem to even lower depths, creating a vicious cycle. For example, studies show that women who appear more confident win out over a women who are perceived as traditionally more attractive when it comes to how many times they are approached at bars.
So don’t just talk about changing, do it. Take control of your confidence and you’re bound to see your happiness level increase significantly. Here’s how:
Get Out There
Hanging with your friends and going on dates are two ways to make you feel alive again. Ring up your friends and ask them to meet up at a bar with fun, happy music you like (here are our picks of the best NYC rooftop bars). Or have them over for a fun girl’s night.
Another way to make yourself feel better is to get online and sign up for online dating (here’s a comparison of the top dating sites). If you’re not ready to go on dates again, I understand. Believe me, I’ve been there. I’ve actually cried telling my new date about my ex — on our first date. So embarrassing! Waiting to go on dates until I could talk about my breakup without bawling would’ve been a good idea. That said, there’s no harm in looking online and, once you’re ready, there’s no better way to get a little boost than by going on a few dates.
Improve Your Posture
If you walk into a room with your head down and your eyes on the floor, you probably aren’t feeling very confident and you’re projecting that. Even if you’re a mess inside, standing taller and appearing more confident may cause you to believe in yourself. Your body posture affects what others think about you and also what you think about yourself. Stand up straight and make eye contact for an immediate confidence boost.
Dress Better and Change Up Your Appearance
What’s in your closet can help you project your best image, significantly boosting your confidence level. How we dress can reflect the level of our self-esteem, so it may be time to assess what you’re wearing and make an effort to improve it. If you aren’t sure where to start, there are a number of fashion apps that help you use your current wardrobe to create effortlessly chic styles, or allow you to take pictures of your clothes and spin them around to make new combinations.
Making an appearance change like a new hairstyle or switching out your glasses for colored contact lenses, can make a dramatic difference that is sure to make you feel more confident.
Work Out
Exercising on a regular basis makes you feel in control of your own health, making you a more confident person. Physical activity also helps to battle the effects of stress, keeping you both mentally and physically strong so your confidence isn’t derailed by minor setbacks. Plus, if you’re in good shape, your clothes will fit better, you’ll stand taller and you’ll have more energy to do what it takes to succeed. Being fit allows you to be the very best version of yourself.
Be Creative
Getting in touch with your creative side can make you happier and healthier. There are numerous studies on the beneficial effects of creativity. Not only can being creative help your health, but it can also help you at work by opening you up to innovation and inspiration. Anyone can be creative, it’s not about skill or talent. Whether it’s dancing alone in your house, baking cupcakes, painting a picture or repurposing furniture, creativity will boost your mental health and overall wellbeing.
Challenge Yourself to Master Something New
Challenge yourself by getting out of your comfort zone and mastering something new. Whether it’s a new sport or getting over your biggest fear, the accomplishment is bound to give you a huge shot of confidence. You’ll feel better about yourself, which may even inspire you to achieve yet another hard-fought goal, bringing even more confidence, and so on.
Before you know it, the sky’s the limit. You can do or accomplish almost anything your heart desires because now you’ve got your mojo back!
Want more? Here’s 10 ways to deal with a breakup.
It’s hard to get all your shit back after one person throwing it all. It’s easy to say, but you know it ain’t as easy, as that.
That’s why they are giving advice, so you can help yourself to put back your shit just like the old times, or for the better. Be open-minded here.
Whoa. I would love to try those fashion apps! Is that for real? You will have to do is take a picture of your clothes, and it will give you suggestions? ?OMG!!!!! Thank you, Urbanette!!!
I Like the idea of friends going out for a drink. I always tell my friends that whenever they need a drinking buddy, I am only one call away. The result? I’m always drunk, but the good thing is my friends are happy. ?
You mean we have to change ourselves? Is that even good? You’re going to change yourself because a person dumped you?
Kindly read the article again, and you will know the real meaning of this. It’s easy to judge, but to understand is not. Have a great day! ?
Confidence is the key! If you want to be better, then help yourself!
The woman is right. You have to get out of your comfort zone! Call a friend, and ask him/her to hang out with you. Besides, you are single, so have fun! There’s no room for sadness! ?
This is great! My friend needs this. She’s moving on right now, so yeah.
I have stuck!! Thank you so much for this, as I try to get my mojo back!!
It’s a new dawn it’s a new day for me thank you for your tips. So glad I found this site.
I enjoy your article and it’s subsequent comments. I just spent the last three years discovering my mojo, after dedicating twenty plus years to raising the next generation wild! I find that I have “landmarks” in my memory of events that have defined me and in turn my mojo.