I’m a model. I mean, I’m a writer, but I’m also a model. So I know what I’m talking about when I say that, along with all the benefits (like having an easier time getting into nightclubs and finding casual sex, I suppose, if that’s what you’re into), there are also a lot of negatives that come along with the package of ‘being beautiful’. And please, don’t hate me because I’m A) beautiful, or B) complaining about it (yeah, I know it may be hard)…
Reason #1: It makes dating harder. Yes, you heard right. I’ll explain why. When men see a woman that looks like a model, far too many of them see her as an object. I can only partially blame them for this, since society hammers it into our heads with objectifying ads and misogynistic porn. Hence, these men see ‘hot girls’ as something to possess and show off. They don’t really spend a lot of time trying to get to know her as a person, because for many men, beauty is enough.
But wait — that actually really sucks for us pretty girls. Really. Because when a man wants to possess you, he often pretends to be whatever you want… until he gets tired of pretending. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve gotten my hopes up and ended up with “Wow, he turned out to be a giant a-hole… but I really thought he was suuucch a nice guy! I don’t know what happened??” It’s because either he could only fake it for so long, or he moved on to another ‘hot girl’. We are, after all, pretty much interchangeable when looked at purely from a superficial perspective.
Reason #2: People assume I’m not going to have anything interesting to say. When I start talking, articulately, about gender issues or politics, it’s often hard for them to hold in their surprise. I guess they think I spend all day doing my nails, reading watching beauty blogs vlogs, and hanging with my peeps at the gym. Uhm, not quite.
Reason #3: Women hate me for no good reason. It’s hard to make girlfriends, and really easy to make frenemies. When you’re the ‘hot girl’, women don’t want to be around you because they’re been brainwashed (by Disney! let that blow your mind!) into thinking that life is a big competition between women for men. News flash: if a guy wants me instead of you, then he was never really yours (and I certainly don’t want the jerk!). Alternatively, far too many women do want to be around you, just to get close to you and hurt you, which somehow props up their own ego.
Reason #4: Aside from having a hard time finding men who want us for our inner beauty, I recently discovered that there are also major downsides to being beautiful at work. A recent study* observed what happened when job-seekers attached their headshot to their resume, and how prospective employers reacted to what they saw. The study involved the sending of fictitious applications to around 2,500 real job vacancies, where every position was sent two similar resumes with contrasting photos.
The study found that the good-looking men had better chances of getting employed than the ugly; however, this resulted in the opposite for the women. The good looking ladies were far less likely to be offered a job and needed to send out an average of eleven resumes to various firms before being invited by one for an interview. Ruffle calls this “the dumb-blonde hypothesis,” or the general misconception that beautiful women are stupid.
A related opinion piece, by The Daily Mail writer Samantha Brick, had another theory why this is happening: “that other women hate me for no other reason than my lovely looks.” Brick says she was often dropped by friends at dinners out because they felt threatened by the fact that she was in the presence of their other halves, adding that “if their partners dared to actually talk to me, a sudden chill would descend on the room.” At work, Brick was once called to the office for her manner of dress (which she felt was conservative) and told that she was distracting her male colleagues.
Now, I know that Urbanette readers are way too confident and empowered to hate on the ‘hot girl’, but if you ever catch yourself wavering, try to remember that we all have our challenges, and nobody’s life is perfect. We live in a double-standard society, and no matter how much we say that human behavior and thinking has evolved to become more accepting and open-minded than ever, discrimination remains.
Beauty or beast (by society’s standards, of course), everybody has a cross to bear.
Jesus! Always wanted to be the kind of beautiful that makes heads turn around, but sounds too troublesome. Not worth it!
I’m willing to take and face all those “problems” if only I get to be beautiful like you! Seriously.
Amen!
I’ll never understand why people directly assume you are stupid just because you are beautiful. Why not wait and find out, right?!
Extremely good looking women are avoided by most men, because men are afraid of rejection. -Hence why I’m single haha ;p
It is hard for pretty women – being pressured by men and women alike. I have some stunning, beautiful friends and life is not easy for anyone. Some unattractive women have incredible intelligence – which the masses will never recognise. Life is unfair but the journey within leads to greatness.
Well, when you’re pretty, you oughtta have frenemies. It’s unfair but that’s just the way life is.
Even though it’s not deliberately at all, you just intimidate the less good looking people. It’s horrible to discover that really nice people who don’t look very nice (the majority of humanity) are terrified of approaching you. It’s a weird thing to find you have this effect.
Loved this article!
I don’t consider myself hot or beautiful, but most of the time I get told that people thought I was b****, because I’m too good looking to be nice…. LOL
Quite many things should change in order to change the fact that we live in a world full of double standards. Until then, we just gotta learn the ropes in the situations where the things could be under our control – for example, sending a CV without a photo. That’s not the craziest idea. 😉
A study published in the Journal of Social Psychology reveals that being “pretty” in the workplace both has its ups and downs. Pretty women are discriminated against when applying for jobs which are considered “masculine” and for which appearance is not seen as important to the job. But being pretty is sometimes an edge because it’s a basis of hiring, promotion and evaluation.
I think the downside of being pretty is purely caused by envious women colleagues. As Noelle Ibrahim, a consultant based in New York said, “If you want to be quote unquote ‘taken seriously’ you have to play down your looks, irrespective of what your other accomplishments might be. It’s a kind of socialism in the workplace.”