4 Reasons Why Men (& Women) Cheat

…plus, how to prevent your lover from cheating.


Have you ever cheated? Been cheated on? Though to my knowledge I haven’t, I did strongly suspect cheating once, and let me tell you, that was the moment that defined the outer limits of my personal crazy! With such strong emotional consequences, it begs the question: why does cheating happen?

4 Reasons Why Men (& Women) Cheat

Are We Still Cave Men?

Infidelity happens for a multitude of reasons, but the most commonly cited are our cave-man instincts. You know, evolution. Because subconscious biological incentives to cheat exist.

When you get down to our barest subconscious motives, men have an incentive to cheat because it means leaving behind more offspring, and women benefit from cheating by pursuing what evolutionary psychologists call a dual-mating strategy. Basically this means that when a woman is able to get a man to settle down and invest resources in her (but still get action on the side), she is able to maximize both ends of her reproductive strategy (great genes for future babies, plus more resources to help look after them). Not to mention that this strategy also helps her secure a backup in case suitor #1 decides to run off with someone else.

Another fun fact: a literal sperm war (yeah, those little swimmers duke it out!) takes place when a woman has more than one man’s sperm in her uterus. I am not even kidding about this; there are whole books on it.

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Avatar of Jennifer Spillane

Raised in California and North Carolina, Jen is both an actress and a writer. She loves writing fiction, especially for young adults, and exercising her non-fiction muscles through Urbanette and her chocolate blog: Chocofiles. Jen also loves adventures, yoga, live music and spontaneous dance parties.

Reader Discussion: 53 Comments

  1. Avatar of amol joshi

    The biggest reason for cheating is a lack of emotional connection or the feeling that you’re not appreciated by your partner as much as you deserve. Anyone could resort to cheating as a way to getting everything they lack where they are person even if it means going out of the relationship to achieve that. From an evolutionary perspective, a tendency for an individual to commit an infidelity stems from an attempt to increase the reproductive success at the expense of their partners.

  2. Avatar of Ananthi Mathur

    People cheating in relationship just because they find someone more beautiful girl or handsome guy. Or Find someone more financial strong Or Lack of physical intimacy in relationship these will the main important reasons people cheat in relationship.

  3. Avatar of Leslie Curtis

    Why even bother giving people reasons to cheat? We won’t understand their reasons simply because we won’t do it. Cheating is a choice! and it is a wrong choice no matter what!

  4. Avatar of Sheena Price

    The reasons are not important. Once you cheat nobody cares what your reason is. all the other one is gonna understand is you are a cheater!

  5. Avatar of joseph pilar

    joseph pilar

    in all honesty, having been cheated on feels like shit. ladies cheat to replace, they don’t know how to play and just test the waters. they commit to whomever they are cheating with and invest feelings. fuck that shit, do you even know how guys feel after being cheated on? it’s like having been kicked in the nuts 57 times per second on a span of 3-5 years. you say we move on fast? I say it just doesn’t show. last words I will say to you those of you who cheated will cheat and probably go to them side dudes. y’all need Jesus!

  6. Avatar of Osana Smith

    Osana Smith

    How can some people manage on cheating the person that they love? For me, it was a cruel thing to do.

  7. Avatar of Jodi Thil

    Jodi Thil

    You shouldn’t cheat when your not happy anymore. Have morals with yourself!

  8. Avatar of Candis Melton

    Candis Melton

    Yes, it’s true. It’s better to broke up than to cheat. Cheating is such a wrong solution to be! Never right.

  9. Avatar of Kathryn Gibson

    Kathryn Gibson

    Honesty should come right next after getting into a relationship. Relationship nowadays just broken up after getting into a problem. They don’t resolve it. They just cheat to get out of their partner.

  10. Avatar of Mildred Davis

    Mildred Davis

    A cheater in a relationship is a relationshit.

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