Ok, I know this may sound harsh, but hear me out. There’s evidence that watching porn leads to both addiction and sexual dysfunction. I know – I know! But when a person who’s prone to addictive tendencies looks at a pornographic material, testosterone, dopamine, oxytocin, and serotonin are all released in the brain to create the so-called “erototoxin”. In short, the release of these chemicals causes a temporary feeling of euphoria that later becomes a necessity for the person to function, or feel ‘alive’.
“He says he watches porn casually. Could he be a porn addict?” Maybe — read on to find out. The difference between a porn addict and a normal person who casually watches porn is evident in the chemical makeup of that person’s brain, and the symptoms he exhibits. BUT even if he’s not “addicted”, it could still be subconsciously changing the way he looks at women, and the way he acts in bed.
Watch Russell Brand break it down:
…and here’s an incredible TED Talk on the subject:
Neuroscientists have explained how porn hijacks the male brain by making new neural pathways as they habitually fixate on pornographic images. “Neural paths become wider as they are repeatedly traveled with each exposure to pornography. They become the automatic pathway through which interactions with women are routed. Every woman they come into contact with is objectified, undressed and evaluated as a willing (or unwilling) mental sexual partner,” explains neuroscientist and researcher Dr. William M. Struthers.
Want to hear something scary? Porn sites get more monthly visitors than Twitter, Amazon and Netflix combined. And of the most-watched porn, 90% contained misogynistic verbal and physical violence. There’s no denying it – porn is having an enormous influence on both men and women. The effects of pornography addiction vary, but these are the most common:
It can ruin his real-life sex life.
Compulsively gawking at pornographic images (especially of hardcore or kinky sex, rape and sexual abuse) will lead to no longer being turned on by “regular” or affectionate sex, therefore sabotaging his real-life sex life.
It can ruin his marriage / relationships.
As a guy regularly watches porn over the Internet, he starts fantasizing about other women and becomes more detached and emotionally distant from his girlfriend or wife. Porn reduces his capacity for intimacy.
It can make him crave unattainable variety.
Since when a man watches porn, he is constantly seeing a new woman, or multiple women, every few minutes, it conditions him to crave variety and sabotages his chances of heightened arousal with only one woman (without being detached and fantasizing about others).
It can change the way he interacts with and views all women.
Because porn is designed for men, and primarily centers around men dominating women, he may also become more violent and misogynistic, perhaps without consciously realizing it, and this can affect many areas of his life. It can make it difficult for him to see women as equals in the workplace, and he may instead mentally objectify his colleagues.
It may lead to emotional, physical and/or sexual dysfunction.
In more extreme cases, porn addicts have been known to lose the ability to control their sexual urges. Men who watch porn often become dependent on pornography to de-stress. He may fear real sex and find it hard to create social and personal interactions outside of the virtual world. He may also get desensitized to the point where he has erectile dysfunction issues (so if he can’t get hard, it could be because he’s been watching porn.)
Porn addicts’ sexual behavior could be affected in multiple ways: either they shy away from real people, or they crave variety in partners, or they lose control of their urges.
Here’s a TED Talk about the addictive effects of porn and, interestingly, the growing community of men that have vowed to stop watching porn:
We interviewed some men for this article. Here are two who stood out. A man named Keith has this story:
“The tragedy was that my pornography habit kept me totally alienated from any real relationship with girls. I found it difficult to relate to real girls, who didn’t behave like the girls in pornography, I didn’t have girlfriends, because the girls I met or dated reacted with fear and disgust to my pornography-inspired advances toward them. Pornography had taught me that the way to be accepted and loved was through sex, but in reality my obsession with sex brought me only alienation, loneliness, and shame.”
Gene’s story, on the other hand, goes:
“As my mental scenarios demanded more graphic expression, I gravitated to more and more twisted and violent pornographic images. This material that once would have nauseated me, now have become my fantasy. From there I progressed to massage parlors, and finally to using prostitutes. Just as at each step before, what was at first shocking and repulsive became easier and easier to accept. In fact, it was the shock and repulsion that gave me that ‘rush’ I craved.”
Both reformed porn addicts, Keith and Gene are now active members of “Victims of Pornography”, a project designed by Citizens for Community Values to create awareness that there are real victims in pornography.
Believe it or not, pornography addiction is not just a problem among men. There’s a growing number of women who are lured to pornography addiction as well. When a woman watches porn, her self-worth plummets, and she starts to self-objectify, seeing herself as an object to be used by men. She becomes more risk-taking, sexually (like allowing men to degrade her), and not because she’s being true to herself, but because this is what her subconscious is picking up as “normal” and as what will give her value.
Here’s another TED Talk. This one explains how porn so easily changes the brain and creates an addiction, and many damaging effects:
But it’s not all doom and gloom! Pornography visualizes fantasies that many people may be unable to act out in real life. So for those normal people, take it as a means of entertainment — but do it very sparingly. Occasionally watch and enjoy the non-misogynistic varieties. Fantasize, and take inspiration from it. Just don’t make it a regular habit.
Figure out what aspects really turn YOU on, then unleash your inner seductress and try a few out in real life. Try “mirroring” what you see in the video with your lover. Wear lingerie. Meet at a bar and pretend you’re meeting for the first time. Role play and use toys. Make him swoon just like the first time you made love. Cherish, laugh, and be silly together. Just get off the computer, go out and get a life! 😉
~ Want more? Check out Culture Reframed to get involved in the anti-porn culture movement, and try our Monthly Sexual Bucket List.
It’s not just porn that needs to be regulated, movies that have uncensored scenes too.
Try watching documentaries on how these women on porn are treated. Maybe those who like porn will look at these girls differently.
It bothers me on how women in the porn industry even get decent relationships. I know women have different priorities, but there was this one time I was browsing through Instagram and I followed this girl who was very pretty and she had really good quality photos. I found out after browsing through her feed that she was a camgirl on this website called My Free Cams. She looked like she had so much potential on being a model that’s not anywhere related to pornography. Her boyfriend who she’s been with for years is her photographer. He’s the one who shoots her naked pictures and videos that she uses to sell online. She would post stuff about loving him and all and how perfect their relationship is. But the thing is, the guy simply accepts that the girl masturbates in front of thousands of people and gets paid for it. If I was a man I would want a girl for myself and wouldn’t want other men seeing her body just like that. I don’t quite understand.
Well, if a girl chooses that career it’s none of our business. But I do get what you mean. It’s not a normal thing.
Porn is disgusting. I don’t understand why people like it. They’re messed up.?
I’m a liberated woman and I’ve seen a number of men who behave differently because of how they see it all in porn. I’ve met men who behave like male porn stars. It’s a turn off. I see it as a lack of male imagination that he can’t please a girl according to how the situation is or on how the woman wants it. They act like rabbits just like what you see in porn. I’ve also met men who don’t watch porn and in my opinion, they were the best in bed. They’re the ones who you feel connected with. It’s a little hard to explain, but they’re mentally and physically present in terms of intimacy. Whereas those who watch porn seems to have their mind elsewhere while their bodies do the thing.
That’s a good observation.
I blame it on the porn industry that there are a lot of cases of rape nowadays. It’s readily available over the internet, regardless of the viewer’s age. I’ve seen teenager rapists and I can’t help but think “What has the world become?” I blame it on porn. These teenagers are vulnerable and porn feeds on that vulnerability in order to result to inexplicable behaviors.
The problem with porn is that most of the time you’re not aware that it’s affecting you. You can always say you’re not addicted to it because the side effects doesn’t show. It’s only until you actually have sex and you start thinking about the unrealistic expectations you have for women. It’s only until you start looking at women on the street and sexualize them without realizing it. It’s when you start fantasizing over things in your daily life because it’s also what you see in porn. As you can see, the erectile dysfunction only happens because you stop being interested in the usual things because in porn it’s always such a fantasy that has been brought to life. Your brain thinks that pleasure can only be obtained if it’s just like what you see on-screen.
Porn makes me feel insecure about my body. It makes me think that there’s something wrong with me because I don’t have beautiful perky boobs like them, even those who didn’t have augmented ones, they still look better than mine. Also, I’ve had a guy who told me about how he didn’t like the color of my labia and it bothered me a lot. I even tried whitening soaps for it but it just irritated my skin so I just tried to stop thinking about it. Porn made me feel like my body isn’t as good as those porn stars and that I didn’t have any sexual value for men. It made me feel undesirable even though I knew it was stupid to even compare myself to a pornstar.
Porn is just something I turn to whenever I’m bored or when my girlfriend doesn’t have the time to do it with me. I haven’t found myself addicted to it, maybe it’s because I don’t watch it that often. Getting addicted to it is an individual problem, a personal one. Because I haven’t really felt any symptoms. I think it’s in the way you perceive it. Like if you turn to it more than you would want real intimacy? But if a person has real sources to get real intimacy from, such as a partner, then I don’t think it’s easy to confuse it from the real thing.
Just reading this article worries me. I’m a woman with trust issues and I know how much of the male population watches porn. I’ve seen porn ads pertaining to cheating with porn stars. It disgusts me. They even urge married men to have affairs with porn stars… It’s stupid.
Oh my. That’s insane! Not only does it destroy your marriage, it plays with men’s heads! The porn industry brings out the polygamous in men!