Your One-A-Month Sex Bucket List

Whether you’ve always stuck to the basics in bed and you’d like to try something new or your previously exciting sex life has fizzled, there are plenty of ways to shake things up between the sheets. Here’s our “Bucket List” of sexy activities. If you do even just 10 of these per month, you’ll be sure to have a happy partner and a hot sex life.

Try this: Print this page and cut each activity out separately with scissors so you have 20 little pieces of paper. Put the whole list in an actual bucket, and pull one out every few mornings, making sure your partner reads it too. That way, you can spend all day looking forward to participating in the chosen Bucket List item that evening.

Bucket List: #1. Wear Sexy Lingerie

To get your man’s pulse racing, surprise him at the door when he gets home from work in a lacy teddy or a corset, garter, stockings, and high heels—or whatever makes you feel sexy. If a very revealing get-up makes you feel too self-conscious, opt for a baby doll or chemise—these sexy garments tend to flatter every body type as they don’t pinch or squeeze in the wrong places.

Bucket List: #2. Perform a Striptease

While you’re wearing that lacy number, why not put it to good use? Pick your favorite sexy song (“You Can Leave Your Hat On” by Joe Cocker and “Pony” by Ginuwine are good choices), turn down the lights, and have your partner sit on a chair or the couch. Trace sexy circles with your hips, bend over and touch your toes, and straddle his lap—bring those moves you’ve seen in movies and music videos to life. If you want to tease him even more, tell him he’s not allowed to touch you until the striptease is over.

Bucket List: #3. Leave the Bedroom

If you wait until you crawl between the sheets at the end of a long day to have sex and go through the same old motions, you’re likely to get bored. Get it on in the kitchen, on the dining table, on the couch, in the laundry room, or anywhere else that feels new and exciting. Be spontaneous, but pick your moments wisely—if your partner’s finishing an important report for work, you might get rejected.

Bucket List: #4. Take it Outside

Having sex in a public place like a park, beach, public bathroom, or (parked!) car will add the extra thrill of knowing you could get caught. It’s a good idea to have a blanket on hand if you’re doing it in the great outdoors to avoid getting sand or twigs in your delicate parts. Plus, it will give you something to cover up with if someone shows up unexpectedly. But be aware that having sex in public is illegal in most places, so don’t blame me if you get busted!

Bucket List: #5. Get Wet ‘n’ Wild

Slip into the shower when your partner’s already in there for a wet and sexy encounter. Because the water is likely to wash away any natural lubrication, it’s best to arm yourself with a silicone-based lubricant, which won’t dissolve in water and will make it a more comfortable experience for both of you. You can also try having sex in a pool, lake, bath, or hot tub, but some health experts warn that it can cause chafing, vaginal infections, and condom breakage, so proceed at your own risk.

Bucket List: #6. Give Him a Sensual Massage

There’s nothing like a naked, oily rubdown to get you in the mood. Put a large towel down on the bed and have your partner lie on his stomach. Using scented massage oil, rub his back, shoulders, arms, neck, and head with your hands. When he’s nice and relaxed, surprise him by sliding your naked upper body up his back from his waist to his shoulders. Gently lick and nibble on his earlobes as you lie on his back and continue to rub his arms. There’s a good chance the massage portion of the evening won’t last much longer.

Bucket List: #7. Talk Dirty

Whispering dirty little nothings in your partner’s ear during foreplay is guaranteed to up the ante. Tell him you’ve been thinking about ripping his clothes off all day and that you can’t possibly wait one more minute to feel him inside you. As things heat up, speak a little louder and get a little dirtier. You can also ask about your partner’s fantasies and encourage him to return the aural favor.

Bucket List: #8. Read Erotica

The recent surge in popularity of books like Fifty Shades of Grey has brought erotica to the mainstream. But instead of cowering under the blankets with a flashlight to read it, why not read passages out loud to your partner? It might feel awkward at first, but I bet you won’t even make it through the first sexy scene before you’re creating your very own.

Bucket List: #9. Use Sex Toys

Take a naughty little trip to your local couple-friendly adult store together and pick out some fun props. Don’t be embarrassed—the clerks have seen it all and won’t judge you. They can even answer any questions you might have about various products.

Have fun tying each other up with some fuzzy handcuffs or try warming lube, which will heat up your genitals and heighten sensation. Another great option is to pick out a dildo (penis-shaped sex toy) or vibrator (vibrating sex toy that can be shaped like a penis or something else) to use together—they come in all shapes and sizes for the most demure to the wildest girl. Men can also enjoy the vibrating sensation of a toy on their penis.

Bucket List: #10. Watch a Dirty Movie

Porn used to be the exclusive domain of men, but there are plenty of couple-friendly options to choose from these days. Adam & Eve and Digital Playground offer a range of high-quality productions with sexy storylines that are more enticing to women than the traditional male-oriented fare.

For example, Pirates and Pirates II: Stagnetti’s Revenge are modeled on the Pirates of the Caribbean movie franchise and have received positive reviews from women worldwide. You can find these and other movies for purchase online or at your local adult store. Or check out websites like ForTheGirls.com and ErikaLust.com for an extensive range of female- and couple-friendly films.

Bucket List: #11. Play with Your Food

Bring a selection of enticing foods into the bedroom. Chocolate sauce, whipped cream, and strawberries all make for sensual additions to a romp. Drizzle or place them on various body parts and lick or nibble them off. When your sweet tooth is satisfied, your sexual appetite will be reaching fever pitch.

Bucket List: #12. Use Ice Cubes

Another great way to stimulate your partner’s senses is to hold an ice cube between your lips and run it gently all over his body. Start with his lips, and then move to his neck, ears, shoulders, chest, nipples, arms, stomach, and legs. Make your way to his genital area and gently run the ice cube over it—paying special attention to sensitive parts like the head of his penis—until he begs for mercy.

Bucket List: #13. Pretend to Be Strangers

Plan to meet up at a bar or restaurant and pretend it’s your very first encounter. Dress nicely and put some effort into your appearance like you would on a real first date. When you get there, start by asking each other questions about things you haven’t discussed in ages to warm up, such as the best places you’ve traveled or your favorite bands. As the evening progresses, move on to sexy talk. Tell your partner how hot he is and describe what you want to do to him later—the more detail the better—until you’re so riled up you both scream, “Check, please!”

Bucket List: #14. Role-Play

This can seem contrived and intimidating, but you don’t have to get into full schoolgirl/teacher costumes—unless you want to. Role-playing can be as simple as taking on different characters and acting them out to create an exciting new dynamic. This will often result in a domination scenario in which one of you submits to the other’s will, but it can also be as simple as two strangers meeting in the night and having mind-blowing, illicit sex. If you do want to try out some costumes, you can get them at a sex shop or online.

Bucket List: #15. Send Provocative Sexts

Build anticipation by sending your partner sexy text messages throughout the day. Tease him with details of a sexy new outfit you plan to debut for his eyes only that night—you can even send him a suggestive photo. As the day progresses, tell him in more detail what you plan to do to please him. By quitting time, he’ll be racing out the door to get home to you.

Bucket List: #16. Try New Positions

Make a pact that you’re only allowed to have sex in the same position once a week. Once you’ve gone through the standards, you’ll have to get creative. You don’t have to attempt the Lotus position while hanging from a chandelier; if it’s too difficult, it can just end up being uncomfortable rather than sexy. Instead, try some interesting twists on the classics. For example, if you’re on top, twist ninety degrees to the right so your bodies form a cross, which will cause more friction for both of you.

Bucket List: #17. Blindfold Him

Cover his eyes with a blindfold or scarf and tie it gently behind his head—blocking out his vision will heighten all his other senses. Take your time kissing and caressing his entire body. If he’s not too ticklish, you can also use a feather or fur to stroke the sensitive parts of his body. Not knowing what you’re going to do next will drive him crazy.

Bucket List: #18. Make Up Kinky Rules

One of my friends—who shall remain nameless—had a deal with her boyfriend that he’d get back-door action on public holidays. Let me tell you, that man looked forward to Thanksgiving more than anyone I’ve ever known. But by the time New Year’s rolled around, she was ready for a break! Make up some fun rules—like Birthday Blow Jobs or October Oral—and you’ll have something exciting to look forward to.

Bucket List: #19. Make a Sexy List

Sit down together with a glass of wine, a pen, and paper. Make a list of every sex act you’ve ever heard of—from the most vanilla to the raunchiest. When you’re done, go through the list and take turns saying whether each act is a ‘yes,’ a ‘maybe,’ or a ‘no’ in your books. You might find there are certain things you’re both curious about but have never tried. If so, cancel dinner on Saturday night because you have plans!

Bucket List: #20. Pleasure Yourself

Masturbation is often viewed as a personal, almost sneaky act—but why not share it with your partner? You can masturbate each other, but you might also find that your partner gets turned on by watching you pleasure yourself and vice versa. Satisfy your voyeuristic side by stimulating yourselves simultaneously—you’ll see how exciting your sex life can be without even laying a finger on each other.