“Having it all” can be a pretty tall order to fill — loving marriage, fulfilling career, stylish home, well-behaved children, flat abs, homemade dinners. Yes, comparing real life to the perfect pictures on Instagram, Pinterest and Facebook can be incredibly discouraging, especially when your kids are running rampant and dinner is plain-jane grilled cheese. Again.
Fortunately, the secret to balancing all of these important aspects of your life is knowing when to step back and invest in romance. Romance is often the first aspect to get sacrificed, but if you can keep the romance alive then smiling through life’s annoyances and balancing work with soccer practice will feel a whole lot easier.
Psychology Today claims that happy couples have 20 positive daily interactions for every negative one. Intrigued? Follow these five tips to carve out a little more time for romance and watch as your life’s balance melts into place:
Plan Ahead
Many of your most important to-do items get done regularly and naturally. Your next salon visit is booked on your calendar a month in advance. Your bills are paid through automatic bill pay. Your grocery list is posted on your refrigerator for daily updating. Why not approach quality time with your spouse in the same way? Take a few minutes with your hubby to commit to some monthly dates. Establish a comfortable budget, and alternate who plans the date. Planning ahead like this is the only way to snag a romantic weekend getaway at a bed and breakfast, or concert tickets to see your favorite musician.
Make Time for Small Luxuries
Date nights don’t have to be huge events. Plan a relaxing night at home instead. Text your spouse throughout the day to tell them you love and miss them, and that you’re excited for date night. Buy a bouquet of lavender for your nightstand or order a fresh flower arrangement for the dining room table. Put on some jazz, spread a blanket on your bedroom floor, and have a wine, chocolate and cheese picnic after the kids are in bed. It might seem goofy, but the change of routine will spark some conversation and refresh your flagging spirits for the rest of the week.
Give Back to Others
Studies show that people who volunteer to help others are healthier and less stressed. Combine these benefits with quality couple time by planning a date to volunteer together. Shovel an elderly neighbor’s sidewalk. Walk dogs at a local animal shelter. Pass out flowers to strangers on a busy street corner. The cheer you share with others will inspire you and may even ignite a new admiration for your spouse.
Sweat Together
According to the Mayo Clinic, exercise boosts energy and improves mood. Want a little extra motivation to get moving? Nab your spouse as your new biking buddy. You will both be invested in the results, plus conquering a new health goal will strengthen your bond and provide something concrete to brag about your spouse at his next work party.
Turn off Work
Turn off your work, literally. Establish a specific space and business hours for yourself with a clear start and end. After 6pm, for example, shutdown your computer and leave your home office regardless of the email barrage filling your inbox. Shut the door and start the home part of your day. Set your phone to notify you of new messages only from your personal accounts. After the kids are in bed, shut down all electronic devices and just talk with your spouse for 30 minutes. Catch up on work news. Compare calendars and get on the same page about your upcoming obligations. Dream about your next vacation. Read the newspaper together. This daily, focused time together doesn’t take much work and it will have huge payoffs in the long run.
Having it all is not impossible. Don’t lose hope, if you’re on the edge of your relationship, make it work. Following these tips will help you with that.
Romance is really important, especially in marriage. Love is not enough to maintain the relationship you have with your spouse. It is important that you two both have time for each other.
Hah! I am sharing this article with my hubby! These are great articles.
I always ensure that my husband and I, have a quality time together. We let our kids sleep at their grandparent’s house every Friday up to Sunday morning so that we can have our time together.
I love the idea of planning ahead of time. From now on, I’ll make sure that we will have at least a day to bond each month. Yay!
Thank you, Hilary, for making helpful tips to women. This is a great article to read especially for women who are seeking for help on how they can spruce up their relationship.
I’m afraid that one day, my husband files a divorce because I don’t have much time for him. A time together is really important because it gives flames to your relationship to heat it up.
Time balancing is quite difficult when you are already married. You have a lot of things that you need to do, and having a quality time for your partner is impossible.
Career and romantic relationships… It’s hard to be successful with both. Often times, couples neglect to nurture relationship the same degree that careers are nurtured! This article is very helpful!
We always can have it all, we just have to work it right 🙂 Balance is the spice of life and I make sure that from time to time, I assess my goals.