“Having it all” can be a pretty tall order to fill — loving marriage, fulfilling career, stylish home, well-behaved children, flat abs, homemade dinners. Yes, comparing real life to the perfect pictures on Instagram, Pinterest and Facebook can be incredibly discouraging, especially when your kids are running rampant and dinner is plain-jane grilled cheese. Again.
Fortunately, the secret to balancing all of these important aspects of your life is knowing when to step back and invest in romance. Romance is often the first aspect to get sacrificed, but if you can keep the romance alive then smiling through life’s annoyances and balancing work with soccer practice will feel a whole lot easier.
Psychology Today claims that happy couples have 20 positive daily interactions for every negative one. Intrigued? Follow these five tips to carve out a little more time for romance and watch as your life’s balance melts into place:
Plan Ahead
Many of your most important to-do items get done regularly and naturally. Your next salon visit is booked on your calendar a month in advance. Your bills are paid through automatic bill pay. Your grocery list is posted on your refrigerator for daily updating. Why not approach quality time with your spouse in the same way? Take a few minutes with your hubby to commit to some monthly dates. Establish a comfortable budget, and alternate who plans the date. Planning ahead like this is the only way to snag a romantic weekend getaway at a bed and breakfast, or concert tickets to see your favorite musician.
Make Time for Small Luxuries
Date nights don’t have to be huge events. Plan a relaxing night at home instead. Text your spouse throughout the day to tell them you love and miss them, and that you’re excited for date night. Buy a bouquet of lavender for your nightstand or order a fresh flower arrangement for the dining room table. Put on some jazz, spread a blanket on your bedroom floor, and have a wine, chocolate and cheese picnic after the kids are in bed. It might seem goofy, but the change of routine will spark some conversation and refresh your flagging spirits for the rest of the week.
Give Back to Others
Studies show that people who volunteer to help others are healthier and less stressed. Combine these benefits with quality couple time by planning a date to volunteer together. Shovel an elderly neighbor’s sidewalk. Walk dogs at a local animal shelter. Pass out flowers to strangers on a busy street corner. The cheer you share with others will inspire you and may even ignite a new admiration for your spouse.
Sweat Together
According to the Mayo Clinic, exercise boosts energy and improves mood. Want a little extra motivation to get moving? Nab your spouse as your new biking buddy. You will both be invested in the results, plus conquering a new health goal will strengthen your bond and provide something concrete to brag about your spouse at his next work party.
Turn off Work
Turn off your work, literally. Establish a specific space and business hours for yourself with a clear start and end. After 6pm, for example, shutdown your computer and leave your home office regardless of the email barrage filling your inbox. Shut the door and start the home part of your day. Set your phone to notify you of new messages only from your personal accounts. After the kids are in bed, shut down all electronic devices and just talk with your spouse for 30 minutes. Catch up on work news. Compare calendars and get on the same page about your upcoming obligations. Dream about your next vacation. Read the newspaper together. This daily, focused time together doesn’t take much work and it will have huge payoffs in the long run.
I can relate to this situation. We’ve been living together for 2 years, but we’re not married yet. I’m scared of getting a divorce, that is why I’m not ready for marriage. My partner is not happy anymore because I am more into my work these past few months, I think I’ll need some time off to make him happy.
I love how Urbanette helps a married couple to solve their problems. I am one of your fan Hilary! More power! Fight!
I live with my boyfriend for 4 months, and we’re having some trouble difficulties about our time. I have 2 jobs. When I got home, he’s sleeping already, and when I woke up he’s off to work. Thanks, Urbanette. This is really helpful 🙂
I think you should also include, pigging out together, playing LAN games, and watching Netflix. It’s the modern dating ya know.
Aaaaah! OMG! This article is a whack! I am in need of this. We always argue about time management, I don’t know what to do. This is a huge help! Thanks!
I’m single, yet, I think I need this one. Lol. Getting ready, so that when I’m married, I know what to do.
Romance is not about sex, it’s about putting a spark on your relationship even if you’re already married. The romance shouldn’t be dead because you’re married. It should be alive and burning as time goes by to make the relationship last long.
You don’t need to go out on a fancy date just to feel the romance. A simple date at home is cheesier because he exerts effort on that, with a little cash to spend.
Hmmm.. sweating together will not just help you to get physically healthy, but your relationship will get healthy as well. I like it ^.^
Married life is not easy, you have to take care of your kids while working, and having time for your spouse is the least on your list. Don’t forget to make time for him, a little spare time is important to maintain the spark in your relationship.