If you’re a regular reader of Urbanette, then you know that we have a tenancy to veer to the serious side sometimes. That’s why we thought it was high time we brought you something sexy, silly, and fun. Cue the lumbersexuals!
In case you’re unfamiliar, there are two kinds of lumbersexuals: the fake kind and the sexy kind. Here’s how to spot the real ones, weed out the hipsters, and get over the fact that you’ve fallen for a beard-sporting, flannel-loving, Army boot-wearing man (who also may wear faux glasses and a droopy beanie that your dad makes fun of because hey, nobody is perfect).
Best Places to Find a Lumbersexual
Rock climbing gyms, live music venues, Frisbee golf courses, the lake, the river, the hardware store — this is where you find real lumbersexuals. They are at bars, too (but then again, so are the lumbering not-so-sexuals).
How to Avoid the Lumbering Not-So-Sexuals
Are his pants so tight that his thigh gap is wider than yours? Is he wearing Tom’s? Drinking a hard cider? This lumbering not-so-sexual may own a lot of plaid and have poor grooming habits, but odds are, he doesn’t know how to do many of the things that make real lumbersexuals so intoxicating. The allure of the lumbersexual is a manliness with an edge of fashionability, right? Well, consider this a guy a designer knockoff and beware!
How to Deal with His Fake Glasses
Fake glasses? That serve no medical purpose whatsoever? What is next, lumbersexuals? A plastic ax? What if we put a little fake bird on your shoulder like the kind my aunt gets from craft stores?
We may hate on the faux rims fad but dangit, at least this guy has some guts. It’s kinda refreshing to meet a guy who is rugged and still likes to accessorize, right? And really, fake glasses are a ridiculous thing in concept, but we lie about fake eyelashes and summer highlights, so why shouldn’t men have their little secrets, too?
Still not feeling it? If you really hate them, you could just ‘accidentally’ squish them while packing his CamelBak for a surprise day hike… whoops! He can always get another $10 pair, but in the meantime tell him how hot he looks without them.
How to Deal with His Droopy Beanie
We all know this look. The hottest guy in the room sporting a beanie that looks like a deflated balloon taped to the back of his head. Is it just me, or is a beanie only hot when it looks like he would snowboard in it? The lumbersexual is all about gettin’ things done, using tools and being efficient. So an emo beanie just doesn’t cut it. Get him something structured, strong and knitted, with ear flaps or faux fur/leather and buckle detail. His desire to wear cheeky accessories will take over and break him from his sad droopy beanie habit.
All Flannel, All the Time
Over the last few years, we’ve all become experts at spotting a flannel from across the room in a sea of no-effort T-shirts. It’s a beacon of hope that there are still manly men out there who can build you a house AND help you decorate it, too (or at least be willing to look through the Pinterest board).
The expanding population of smart, dare-we-say sophisticated lumbersexuals is a pretty encouraging development. And the fashion world is even taking notice. The Guardian calls the trend “faux-hobo” and boasts the practicality of the style. That’s right. It’s finally fashionable to be practical. Oh wait, it always was — for men, anyway. Sorry, ladies.
Now that you’ve found your lumbersexual and fallen for him like a tree in the forest and you don’t care who hears it, make sure you two stay cozy all winter long. Get some legit matching flannels and get to studying up on whatever gets this grizzly god of plaid outside and smiling.
Are you obsessed with lumbersexuals too? Do tell!
Lumbersexual, eh? Well, clearly I’ve lost even more touch with this world. Time to check out. 😉
lumbersexual is becoming the new “basic” (it was cooler in early 2010’s). but now its like a white girl and a pumpkin spice latte and Uggs
Well nothing screams “I’m not masculine” more than trying to look masculine. Not saying there’s anything wrong with the lumberjack style. But a guy doing it just so people people can say they’re a man seems like you’re overcompensating. It really all comes down to how you carry yourself. Heck I can’t grow beard to save my life but I’ve never felt like less of a man because of it lol Both girls and guys dig me ??
Maybe they can invent a new cosmetic surgery procedure to add callouses and blisters on their hands. ?????
This is the first I have ever got the popular definition of this new on coming trend. Being a man is making a come back. Women are tired of being more manly then the men in the home. I think this is due to the fact on how lazy society has become. Yes I have the flannel shirts and yes I wear boots and yes I used to be out doors over 90 percent of the time as a state employee. I used to be made fun of for dressing this way all these years ago. Now all the suddenly out of social need for men to be men yet again was just a matter of time and has been over due. However this lumber sexual trend offends me in a personal way. They look and act the part and yet they never worked at any job as I have in the same fashion and professionalism as I did. The hipster is dead and the bum look with the bed head trend is gone. It mocks the way of life for men as myself whom are not fearful of an honest and natural life.
Real men are getting hate for what these hipsters are doing… My friend who spends 90% of his life in the woods, hunting just got called a hipster for wearing the same flannel jacket he has worn for years..
Damn it. I just got used to be a metrosexual and now I have reclaim my masculinity. The 2000’s were so much simpler than 2010’s.
It’s a good wintertime look.I sort of dress that way in the colder month. Levi 501 raw , flannel shirts and either Redwings or Wolverine boots.Without the beard. Bonus with a Hamilton watch or Omega.
It’s all make believe, pretend, fantasy, roleplaying… People don’t know who they are anymore, so instead they try to be someone else. Or to be an idea. Where’s the time that fashion was also practical, and you were judged by your actions, not by your looks.
Well, I don’t think that they really reclaim the old type of masculinity since lumbersexuals often tend to be very calm, sophisticated guys that are kind of the opposite to macho. At least in my experience!