If you’re a regular reader of Urbanette, then you know that we have a tenancy to veer to the serious side sometimes. That’s why we thought it was high time we brought you something sexy, silly, and fun. Cue the lumbersexuals!
In case you’re unfamiliar, there are two kinds of lumbersexuals: the fake kind and the sexy kind. Here’s how to spot the real ones, weed out the hipsters, and get over the fact that you’ve fallen for a beard-sporting, flannel-loving, Army boot-wearing man (who also may wear faux glasses and a droopy beanie that your dad makes fun of because hey, nobody is perfect).
Best Places to Find a Lumbersexual
Rock climbing gyms, live music venues, Frisbee golf courses, the lake, the river, the hardware store — this is where you find real lumbersexuals. They are at bars, too (but then again, so are the lumbering not-so-sexuals).
How to Avoid the Lumbering Not-So-Sexuals
Are his pants so tight that his thigh gap is wider than yours? Is he wearing Tom’s? Drinking a hard cider? This lumbering not-so-sexual may own a lot of plaid and have poor grooming habits, but odds are, he doesn’t know how to do many of the things that make real lumbersexuals so intoxicating. The allure of the lumbersexual is a manliness with an edge of fashionability, right? Well, consider this a guy a designer knockoff and beware!
How to Deal with His Fake Glasses
Fake glasses? That serve no medical purpose whatsoever? What is next, lumbersexuals? A plastic ax? What if we put a little fake bird on your shoulder like the kind my aunt gets from craft stores?
We may hate on the faux rims fad but dangit, at least this guy has some guts. It’s kinda refreshing to meet a guy who is rugged and still likes to accessorize, right? And really, fake glasses are a ridiculous thing in concept, but we lie about fake eyelashes and summer highlights, so why shouldn’t men have their little secrets, too?
Still not feeling it? If you really hate them, you could just ‘accidentally’ squish them while packing his CamelBak for a surprise day hike… whoops! He can always get another $10 pair, but in the meantime tell him how hot he looks without them.
How to Deal with His Droopy Beanie
We all know this look. The hottest guy in the room sporting a beanie that looks like a deflated balloon taped to the back of his head. Is it just me, or is a beanie only hot when it looks like he would snowboard in it? The lumbersexual is all about gettin’ things done, using tools and being efficient. So an emo beanie just doesn’t cut it. Get him something structured, strong and knitted, with ear flaps or faux fur/leather and buckle detail. His desire to wear cheeky accessories will take over and break him from his sad droopy beanie habit.
All Flannel, All the Time
Over the last few years, we’ve all become experts at spotting a flannel from across the room in a sea of no-effort T-shirts. It’s a beacon of hope that there are still manly men out there who can build you a house AND help you decorate it, too (or at least be willing to look through the Pinterest board).
The expanding population of smart, dare-we-say sophisticated lumbersexuals is a pretty encouraging development. And the fashion world is even taking notice. The Guardian calls the trend “faux-hobo” and boasts the practicality of the style. That’s right. It’s finally fashionable to be practical. Oh wait, it always was — for men, anyway. Sorry, ladies.
Now that you’ve found your lumbersexual and fallen for him like a tree in the forest and you don’t care who hears it, make sure you two stay cozy all winter long. Get some legit matching flannels and get to studying up on whatever gets this grizzly god of plaid outside and smiling.
Are you obsessed with lumbersexuals too? Do tell!
Was in the Village (NYC) today in my usual welding clothes: Flannel button down, white tee shirt, well-worn selvedge, and leather boots. Made me laugh to see that I blended right in at the coffee shop.
Nope, still going for the clean look. When my boyfriend forgets to shave his growign moustache it already irritates me. What more a beard? Nope, nope.
I will say this. One thing that I appreciate about both the metrosexual AND lumbersexual movements is that they both require men to keep in shape. Though I will also say that lumbersexual has an advantage over how it’s acceptable both in urban and rural areas. You can’t be a dandy in the hills of Appalachia or plains of Colorado unless if you’re a trying to sell yokels musical instruments or a monorail or something.
The only context in which the terms metrosexual and lubersexual make sense in if somebody can only have sex in a metro station or with a piece of lumber. ??????
Had to go check the Urban Dictionary for this. I felt like I lived under a rock for not knowing what lumbersexual meant. It’s so weird because lumber is wood and the word sexual is… Sexual. In my opinion, why would you want to get rid of men’s beanies and faux glasses? You already mentioned that we should let men use these accessories because we do wear faux stuff as women. What I don’t like are emo dudes who go around wearing all black like it’s always someone’s funeral. You’re not a vampire.
What’s so hot about this? They look like men who can’t groom themselves.
On some men, this look makes them appear really hot, depending on the beard style and hair density and type. On others, it just doesn’t work for genetic reasons. Face proportion has much to do with it as well. My dad used to call it a crotch mop. LOL
I live in London and probably this city of the capital of the lumber sexuals. Weird beard, flannel shirt, brown boots and jeans all around this place.. Some of them like a strange mixture of the lumber sexual and the hippy… Some people look very cool but some of them look just very “poor”…
Looks or sense of fashion isn’t really important for me. I think if a man has a good heart, he’s the type of person that I can spend my life with. People are so focused about physical appearances nowadays and they think it’s going to help them get through the relationship. No, it won’t. It’s the morality and personality of the person that will get you through all the trials of a relationship. If your partner still fits the lumbersexual category despite being a good person, good for you.
Yes, most men and women are too focused on good looks and they fail to recognize whether the person is really good for them or not.
TOTALLY sick of this look by the way. Most of the people who worry this much about appearing to be men are merely a shadow. Half of these flannel wearing oprah watchers can’t even change a tire.