If you’re a regular reader of Urbanette, then you know that we have a tenancy to veer to the serious side sometimes. That’s why we thought it was high time we brought you something sexy, silly, and fun. Cue the lumbersexuals!
In case you’re unfamiliar, there are two kinds of lumbersexuals: the fake kind and the sexy kind. Here’s how to spot the real ones, weed out the hipsters, and get over the fact that you’ve fallen for a beard-sporting, flannel-loving, Army boot-wearing man (who also may wear faux glasses and a droopy beanie that your dad makes fun of because hey, nobody is perfect).
Best Places to Find a Lumbersexual
Rock climbing gyms, live music venues, Frisbee golf courses, the lake, the river, the hardware store — this is where you find real lumbersexuals. They are at bars, too (but then again, so are the lumbering not-so-sexuals).
How to Avoid the Lumbering Not-So-Sexuals
Are his pants so tight that his thigh gap is wider than yours? Is he wearing Tom’s? Drinking a hard cider? This lumbering not-so-sexual may own a lot of plaid and have poor grooming habits, but odds are, he doesn’t know how to do many of the things that make real lumbersexuals so intoxicating. The allure of the lumbersexual is a manliness with an edge of fashionability, right? Well, consider this a guy a designer knockoff and beware!
How to Deal with His Fake Glasses
Fake glasses? That serve no medical purpose whatsoever? What is next, lumbersexuals? A plastic ax? What if we put a little fake bird on your shoulder like the kind my aunt gets from craft stores?
We may hate on the faux rims fad but dangit, at least this guy has some guts. It’s kinda refreshing to meet a guy who is rugged and still likes to accessorize, right? And really, fake glasses are a ridiculous thing in concept, but we lie about fake eyelashes and summer highlights, so why shouldn’t men have their little secrets, too?
Still not feeling it? If you really hate them, you could just ‘accidentally’ squish them while packing his CamelBak for a surprise day hike… whoops! He can always get another $10 pair, but in the meantime tell him how hot he looks without them.
How to Deal with His Droopy Beanie
We all know this look. The hottest guy in the room sporting a beanie that looks like a deflated balloon taped to the back of his head. Is it just me, or is a beanie only hot when it looks like he would snowboard in it? The lumbersexual is all about gettin’ things done, using tools and being efficient. So an emo beanie just doesn’t cut it. Get him something structured, strong and knitted, with ear flaps or faux fur/leather and buckle detail. His desire to wear cheeky accessories will take over and break him from his sad droopy beanie habit.
All Flannel, All the Time
Over the last few years, we’ve all become experts at spotting a flannel from across the room in a sea of no-effort T-shirts. It’s a beacon of hope that there are still manly men out there who can build you a house AND help you decorate it, too (or at least be willing to look through the Pinterest board).
The expanding population of smart, dare-we-say sophisticated lumbersexuals is a pretty encouraging development. And the fashion world is even taking notice. The Guardian calls the trend “faux-hobo” and boasts the practicality of the style. That’s right. It’s finally fashionable to be practical. Oh wait, it always was — for men, anyway. Sorry, ladies.
Now that you’ve found your lumbersexual and fallen for him like a tree in the forest and you don’t care who hears it, make sure you two stay cozy all winter long. Get some legit matching flannels and get to studying up on whatever gets this grizzly god of plaid outside and smiling.
Are you obsessed with lumbersexuals too? Do tell!
When you live in the city, it’s a little impossible to meet men like them. When I go to places like what you’ve said (by any chance) I don’t really see men like them. I also think that they can be a little vain because normally, men want to look decent but won’t go out of their way to go shopping for fashionable clothes. I personally would not want my man to want to shop more than I do, because that can be very annoying and I don’t want to date someone who is too meticulous with how he looks.
What if you squish your man’s fake glasses, only to figure out that they’re real glasses for reading? You’re a horrible girlfriend.?
I get so offended with fake glasses sometimes. I have bad eyesight and I would do anything to not wear contact lenses anymore because I hate how it makes my eyes feel dry and irritated. So yeah, fake glasses shouldn’t be a thing.
I’m sorry but I prefer men who look clean and dress clean. Fashion statements like this is only pleasing to a certain crowd and I don’t want my man to be judged….
My boyfriend is a lumbersexual and he’s really hot. Haha! So proud of him. ?
You’re so lucky to find one! Keep him!
When I saw this, I was like: “What on earth is a lumbersexual?” Oh, the things people invent to call one’s sense of fashion is quite interesting. Anyway, I can’t say I’d love all lumbersexuals because not all men look good in beard and plaid. I always prefer clean shaved men unless they can sport it just like Brad Pitt or any famous hunk in Hollywood. But let’s face it, if men aren’t that good looking, beards would just make them look creepy and unhygienic.
What’s so hot about beards? Can you imagine kissing someone that has it? It’s so itchy!!!
I guess ladies can be thirsty too, lol.? Really enjoyed reading this though. Plus the comment section is hilarious!
I don’t know about you guys, But I fancy myself a real lumberjack. None of this fake ass lumbersexual. Real men should look like real men. Not like these fake ass men who look more like masculine ladies.
Isn’t this objectifying men? We are so against objectifying women but we do it blatantly also. Wow!