If you’re a regular reader of Urbanette, then you know that we have a tenancy to veer to the serious side sometimes. That’s why we thought it was high time we brought you something sexy, silly, and fun. Cue the lumbersexuals!
In case you’re unfamiliar, there are two kinds of lumbersexuals: the fake kind and the sexy kind. Here’s how to spot the real ones, weed out the hipsters, and get over the fact that you’ve fallen for a beard-sporting, flannel-loving, Army boot-wearing man (who also may wear faux glasses and a droopy beanie that your dad makes fun of because hey, nobody is perfect).
Best Places to Find a Lumbersexual
Rock climbing gyms, live music venues, Frisbee golf courses, the lake, the river, the hardware store — this is where you find real lumbersexuals. They are at bars, too (but then again, so are the lumbering not-so-sexuals).
How to Avoid the Lumbering Not-So-Sexuals
Are his pants so tight that his thigh gap is wider than yours? Is he wearing Tom’s? Drinking a hard cider? This lumbering not-so-sexual may own a lot of plaid and have poor grooming habits, but odds are, he doesn’t know how to do many of the things that make real lumbersexuals so intoxicating. The allure of the lumbersexual is a manliness with an edge of fashionability, right? Well, consider this a guy a designer knockoff and beware!
How to Deal with His Fake Glasses
Fake glasses? That serve no medical purpose whatsoever? What is next, lumbersexuals? A plastic ax? What if we put a little fake bird on your shoulder like the kind my aunt gets from craft stores?
We may hate on the faux rims fad but dangit, at least this guy has some guts. It’s kinda refreshing to meet a guy who is rugged and still likes to accessorize, right? And really, fake glasses are a ridiculous thing in concept, but we lie about fake eyelashes and summer highlights, so why shouldn’t men have their little secrets, too?
Still not feeling it? If you really hate them, you could just ‘accidentally’ squish them while packing his CamelBak for a surprise day hike… whoops! He can always get another $10 pair, but in the meantime tell him how hot he looks without them.
How to Deal with His Droopy Beanie
We all know this look. The hottest guy in the room sporting a beanie that looks like a deflated balloon taped to the back of his head. Is it just me, or is a beanie only hot when it looks like he would snowboard in it? The lumbersexual is all about gettin’ things done, using tools and being efficient. So an emo beanie just doesn’t cut it. Get him something structured, strong and knitted, with ear flaps or faux fur/leather and buckle detail. His desire to wear cheeky accessories will take over and break him from his sad droopy beanie habit.
All Flannel, All the Time
Over the last few years, we’ve all become experts at spotting a flannel from across the room in a sea of no-effort T-shirts. It’s a beacon of hope that there are still manly men out there who can build you a house AND help you decorate it, too (or at least be willing to look through the Pinterest board).
The expanding population of smart, dare-we-say sophisticated lumbersexuals is a pretty encouraging development. And the fashion world is even taking notice. The Guardian calls the trend “faux-hobo” and boasts the practicality of the style. That’s right. It’s finally fashionable to be practical. Oh wait, it always was — for men, anyway. Sorry, ladies.
Now that you’ve found your lumbersexual and fallen for him like a tree in the forest and you don’t care who hears it, make sure you two stay cozy all winter long. Get some legit matching flannels and get to studying up on whatever gets this grizzly god of plaid outside and smiling.
Are you obsessed with lumbersexuals too? Do tell!
All men who know how to groom themselves and dress fashionably are hot in my opinion. Why? It can be quite rare.?
I know a couple of fake lumbersexuals and it really annoys me. Good thing they aren’t my friend but damn. It’s so hard to keep my mouth shut just so I can be nice.
I swear that one photo looks like that man is wearing a lion’s mane. When was this even a thing??!!
The comment section is something that I really go to for laughs ?
Lumbersexuals really are hot. But they’re only my dream guys because from where I’m from, they’re quite hard to find. Men like them are so pleasing to the eye and not only that, very reliable when it comes to manual labor. Would definitely want to marry someone like that in the future! Beards are so tricky though, it doesn’t look good on everybody. I feel like the people around me have very unkempt beards that look dirty instead of hot. Too bad!
I think the concept of having a beard is a little complicated. There are men who are just too lazy to shave so they grow their beards like crazy, then there are men who shape their beards and even put conditioner on it. I would prefer the latter than the other, of course. I guess real lumbersexuals are so rare! I feel like it’s only on Instagram that we see really hot dudes in suits or plaid rocking a beard. The only guys in beards that I see and in plaid clothes are boys with dadbods.
I know what you mean, even in the photos most of the men’s beards here look like pubes but others are like Hollywood-male-actor kind of sexy.
I’m literally laughing right now with what you just said!
Flannel shirts are really comfy, no wonder why men like them would want to wear them all the time.
Damn you hipsters and internet dumb-asses. Every time someone looks at my beard and says lumbersexual I want to bludgeon them with a hammer and run over them with my truck. I can’t wear a flannel to work when it’s cool without hearing some dumb female say it. Get off the internet get back in your cubicle and show a little respect to real blue-collar working-class men.
When I saw the title I didn’t know what I was going for. Hahahaha I guess I was in for a laugh! If only all lumbersexuals were as hot as the ones in the article’s photos. But the only lumberjack that I know is my dad.
Geez, even faux hobo is a thing now. I honestly don’t know what people are doing with their lives. Stop coining weird words, people.?
Men like them only exist in movies. Let’s be real about this. I haven’t seen one in my entire life unless they’re models for brands that are a little laid back like Guess.?
Hahahha I agree. Men who really look good in beards and that kind of fashion are one of a kind and they only exist in movies and the modeling industry!