If you’re a regular reader of Urbanette, then you know that we have a tenancy to veer to the serious side sometimes. That’s why we thought it was high time we brought you something sexy, silly, and fun. Cue the lumbersexuals!
In case you’re unfamiliar, there are two kinds of lumbersexuals: the fake kind and the sexy kind. Here’s how to spot the real ones, weed out the hipsters, and get over the fact that you’ve fallen for a beard-sporting, flannel-loving, Army boot-wearing man (who also may wear faux glasses and a droopy beanie that your dad makes fun of because hey, nobody is perfect).
Best Places to Find a Lumbersexual
Rock climbing gyms, live music venues, Frisbee golf courses, the lake, the river, the hardware store — this is where you find real lumbersexuals. They are at bars, too (but then again, so are the lumbering not-so-sexuals).
How to Avoid the Lumbering Not-So-Sexuals
Are his pants so tight that his thigh gap is wider than yours? Is he wearing Tom’s? Drinking a hard cider? This lumbering not-so-sexual may own a lot of plaid and have poor grooming habits, but odds are, he doesn’t know how to do many of the things that make real lumbersexuals so intoxicating. The allure of the lumbersexual is a manliness with an edge of fashionability, right? Well, consider this a guy a designer knockoff and beware!
How to Deal with His Fake Glasses
Fake glasses? That serve no medical purpose whatsoever? What is next, lumbersexuals? A plastic ax? What if we put a little fake bird on your shoulder like the kind my aunt gets from craft stores?
We may hate on the faux rims fad but dangit, at least this guy has some guts. It’s kinda refreshing to meet a guy who is rugged and still likes to accessorize, right? And really, fake glasses are a ridiculous thing in concept, but we lie about fake eyelashes and summer highlights, so why shouldn’t men have their little secrets, too?
Still not feeling it? If you really hate them, you could just ‘accidentally’ squish them while packing his CamelBak for a surprise day hike… whoops! He can always get another $10 pair, but in the meantime tell him how hot he looks without them.
How to Deal with His Droopy Beanie
We all know this look. The hottest guy in the room sporting a beanie that looks like a deflated balloon taped to the back of his head. Is it just me, or is a beanie only hot when it looks like he would snowboard in it? The lumbersexual is all about gettin’ things done, using tools and being efficient. So an emo beanie just doesn’t cut it. Get him something structured, strong and knitted, with ear flaps or faux fur/leather and buckle detail. His desire to wear cheeky accessories will take over and break him from his sad droopy beanie habit.
All Flannel, All the Time
Over the last few years, we’ve all become experts at spotting a flannel from across the room in a sea of no-effort T-shirts. It’s a beacon of hope that there are still manly men out there who can build you a house AND help you decorate it, too (or at least be willing to look through the Pinterest board).
The expanding population of smart, dare-we-say sophisticated lumbersexuals is a pretty encouraging development. And the fashion world is even taking notice. The Guardian calls the trend “faux-hobo” and boasts the practicality of the style. That’s right. It’s finally fashionable to be practical. Oh wait, it always was — for men, anyway. Sorry, ladies.
Now that you’ve found your lumbersexual and fallen for him like a tree in the forest and you don’t care who hears it, make sure you two stay cozy all winter long. Get some legit matching flannels and get to studying up on whatever gets this grizzly god of plaid outside and smiling.
Are you obsessed with lumbersexuals too? Do tell!
some of these lumberjack looking guys look more like members of ISI.
I asked a lumbersexual pretending to be a “real man” What barber chair means, he thought it meant a chair at barbers, then I asked him how to hand an axe since he was holding an axe in a picture of his, he had no clue whatsoever. Needless to say, lumbersexuals are poser trying to look like outdoorsman despite the fact the only trees and nature they see are when they go to Starbucks and if they actually attempted to fell anything more than a sappling they’ll drop it on themselves and injure/kill themselves.
Guys just reclaiming their masculinity- these lumbersexual still looks like a faggy hipster to me.
And here I thought a lumbersexual was someone sexually attracted to lumberjacks.
Look I love a rugged, manly man. but come on now. If you can’t build a house, fix a car or fight why even bother?? My husband has been rocking this so could lumbersexual look for years. This is just another trend I hope disappear. Just imagine, men with no muscle tone and soft hands are growing beards and dressing as lumberjacks because it’s fashion? Most of them have never done any kind of hard labor in their life.
But some men wear comfortable, functional clothes are not trying to make a fashion statement and don’t care what opinionated fool think.
People are growing beards just to try to give some kind of edgy look. Men are under so much pressure by other men to be masculine, that some men just hide behind the mystique of their beard.
Lumbersexual? You mean a manly man?
Well, nothing screams “I’m not masculine more than trying to look masculine. Not saying there’s anything wrong with lumberjack style. But a guy doing it just so people can say they’re a man seems like yo save my you’re overcompensating. It really all comes down to how you carry yourself. Heck, I can’t grow a beard to save my life but I’ve never felt like less of a man because of it.
Since when is flannel boots and beards only for “lumberjacks”? I don’t get it. Why can’t we just dress how we like without getting a label. I just like my clothes nice and comfy, And I’m an investor, I cannot cut down trees unless I wanna hurt myself.