If you’re a regular reader of Urbanette, then you know that we have a tenancy to veer to the serious side sometimes. That’s why we thought it was high time we brought you something sexy, silly, and fun. Cue the lumbersexuals!
In case you’re unfamiliar, there are two kinds of lumbersexuals: the fake kind and the sexy kind. Here’s how to spot the real ones, weed out the hipsters, and get over the fact that you’ve fallen for a beard-sporting, flannel-loving, Army boot-wearing man (who also may wear faux glasses and a droopy beanie that your dad makes fun of because hey, nobody is perfect).
Best Places to Find a Lumbersexual
Rock climbing gyms, live music venues, Frisbee golf courses, the lake, the river, the hardware store — this is where you find real lumbersexuals. They are at bars, too (but then again, so are the lumbering not-so-sexuals).
How to Avoid the Lumbering Not-So-Sexuals
Are his pants so tight that his thigh gap is wider than yours? Is he wearing Tom’s? Drinking a hard cider? This lumbering not-so-sexual may own a lot of plaid and have poor grooming habits, but odds are, he doesn’t know how to do many of the things that make real lumbersexuals so intoxicating. The allure of the lumbersexual is a manliness with an edge of fashionability, right? Well, consider this a guy a designer knockoff and beware!
How to Deal with His Fake Glasses
Fake glasses? That serve no medical purpose whatsoever? What is next, lumbersexuals? A plastic ax? What if we put a little fake bird on your shoulder like the kind my aunt gets from craft stores?
We may hate on the faux rims fad but dangit, at least this guy has some guts. It’s kinda refreshing to meet a guy who is rugged and still likes to accessorize, right? And really, fake glasses are a ridiculous thing in concept, but we lie about fake eyelashes and summer highlights, so why shouldn’t men have their little secrets, too?
Still not feeling it? If you really hate them, you could just ‘accidentally’ squish them while packing his CamelBak for a surprise day hike… whoops! He can always get another $10 pair, but in the meantime tell him how hot he looks without them.
How to Deal with His Droopy Beanie
We all know this look. The hottest guy in the room sporting a beanie that looks like a deflated balloon taped to the back of his head. Is it just me, or is a beanie only hot when it looks like he would snowboard in it? The lumbersexual is all about gettin’ things done, using tools and being efficient. So an emo beanie just doesn’t cut it. Get him something structured, strong and knitted, with ear flaps or faux fur/leather and buckle detail. His desire to wear cheeky accessories will take over and break him from his sad droopy beanie habit.
All Flannel, All the Time
Over the last few years, we’ve all become experts at spotting a flannel from across the room in a sea of no-effort T-shirts. It’s a beacon of hope that there are still manly men out there who can build you a house AND help you decorate it, too (or at least be willing to look through the Pinterest board).
The expanding population of smart, dare-we-say sophisticated lumbersexuals is a pretty encouraging development. And the fashion world is even taking notice. The Guardian calls the trend “faux-hobo” and boasts the practicality of the style. That’s right. It’s finally fashionable to be practical. Oh wait, it always was — for men, anyway. Sorry, ladies.
Now that you’ve found your lumbersexual and fallen for him like a tree in the forest and you don’t care who hears it, make sure you two stay cozy all winter long. Get some legit matching flannels and get to studying up on whatever gets this grizzly god of plaid outside and smiling.
Are you obsessed with lumbersexuals too? Do tell!
Not even sure anymore about how serious this article is.?
I think the beard trend is about me claiming their masculinity. The aex+flannel thing is just hipster.
Do they call themselves “manly” because of their “manly” clothes? They’ll always just be cheap knockoffs, copies of men, in a year or two they’ll be gone and dress like truckers.
It seems like these guys are laching into hard work and it’s aesthetic as the value that defines a man. What they’re missing is that values that truly define a man, can’t be bought/faked. Conviction, responsibility, provision, and self-control are more integral to masculinity that your ability to fell a tree or change your oil.
A lot of the guys you see in a beard and flannel are the same guys you’ll find camping on a weekend though, not because they are seeking an image, but because they need to express the core of what makes them male. This style could be the most accessible way for them to gain back a downtrodden masculinity. is it helping them become better men, in a way that matters? Hard to say, but I think it’s unfair to paint with a board brush and label all of these young men as fakers.
I think those people who qualify themselves as a lumbersexual are trying to compensate for the embarrassment of previously qualifying themselves as metrosexual.
I don’t really care to be honest. If they feel better as a person or feel like they belong in a group by dressing as they do I’m all for that. And it’s not like they are hurting anyone by the way they dress.
What’s wrong with wearing flannel shirts and having a beard? You don’t need to be a homesteader to be comfortable when it’s cold outside. I hope to wear basketball shorts and a t-shirt on the weekends doesn’t ever come under fire. I’ll be screwed.
A real man never feels the need to do or say anything to try to prove to anyone whether or not he is a real man.
Ugh!! I hate this shit. If you are going to dress like a “lumberjack”, you better have the body of one, Doesn’t matter how big your beard is or how tight your denim is if you can’t swing an axe and split logs, sit down and re-evaluate your life.