If you’re a regular reader of Urbanette, then you know that we have a tenancy to veer to the serious side sometimes. That’s why we thought it was high time we brought you something sexy, silly, and fun. Cue the lumbersexuals!
In case you’re unfamiliar, there are two kinds of lumbersexuals: the fake kind and the sexy kind. Here’s how to spot the real ones, weed out the hipsters, and get over the fact that you’ve fallen for a beard-sporting, flannel-loving, Army boot-wearing man (who also may wear faux glasses and a droopy beanie that your dad makes fun of because hey, nobody is perfect).
Best Places to Find a Lumbersexual
Rock climbing gyms, live music venues, Frisbee golf courses, the lake, the river, the hardware store — this is where you find real lumbersexuals. They are at bars, too (but then again, so are the lumbering not-so-sexuals).
How to Avoid the Lumbering Not-So-Sexuals
Are his pants so tight that his thigh gap is wider than yours? Is he wearing Tom’s? Drinking a hard cider? This lumbering not-so-sexual may own a lot of plaid and have poor grooming habits, but odds are, he doesn’t know how to do many of the things that make real lumbersexuals so intoxicating. The allure of the lumbersexual is a manliness with an edge of fashionability, right? Well, consider this a guy a designer knockoff and beware!
How to Deal with His Fake Glasses
Fake glasses? That serve no medical purpose whatsoever? What is next, lumbersexuals? A plastic ax? What if we put a little fake bird on your shoulder like the kind my aunt gets from craft stores?
We may hate on the faux rims fad but dangit, at least this guy has some guts. It’s kinda refreshing to meet a guy who is rugged and still likes to accessorize, right? And really, fake glasses are a ridiculous thing in concept, but we lie about fake eyelashes and summer highlights, so why shouldn’t men have their little secrets, too?
Still not feeling it? If you really hate them, you could just ‘accidentally’ squish them while packing his CamelBak for a surprise day hike… whoops! He can always get another $10 pair, but in the meantime tell him how hot he looks without them.
How to Deal with His Droopy Beanie
We all know this look. The hottest guy in the room sporting a beanie that looks like a deflated balloon taped to the back of his head. Is it just me, or is a beanie only hot when it looks like he would snowboard in it? The lumbersexual is all about gettin’ things done, using tools and being efficient. So an emo beanie just doesn’t cut it. Get him something structured, strong and knitted, with ear flaps or faux fur/leather and buckle detail. His desire to wear cheeky accessories will take over and break him from his sad droopy beanie habit.
All Flannel, All the Time
Over the last few years, we’ve all become experts at spotting a flannel from across the room in a sea of no-effort T-shirts. It’s a beacon of hope that there are still manly men out there who can build you a house AND help you decorate it, too (or at least be willing to look through the Pinterest board).
The expanding population of smart, dare-we-say sophisticated lumbersexuals is a pretty encouraging development. And the fashion world is even taking notice. The Guardian calls the trend “faux-hobo” and boasts the practicality of the style. That’s right. It’s finally fashionable to be practical. Oh wait, it always was — for men, anyway. Sorry, ladies.
Now that you’ve found your lumbersexual and fallen for him like a tree in the forest and you don’t care who hears it, make sure you two stay cozy all winter long. Get some legit matching flannels and get to studying up on whatever gets this grizzly god of plaid outside and smiling.
Are you obsessed with lumbersexuals too? Do tell!
So just because someone has a certain clothing style they are labeled with “sexual”? So it’s gonna be Gothsexual too? Metalheadsexual, Hipstersexual… etc
Men who dress up like this are so sexy. In movies they’re always the ones that have really sexy accent, heheee! ?
Some men have a habit of bad grooming. They’re not lumbersexual, it’s different for being unhygienic.
My boyfriend doesn’t have a beard, but now I want him to grow it. Lol. Sorry honey, lumbersexual looks hot. ?
I don’t feel like being in a relationship with a lumbersexual. Well, I think it’s hot, but most of the time it’s gross.
You can add Chris Evan! OMG, he’s freakin hot!!! Actually, he looks like the man on the right side.
He looks like my boyfriend. I support my boyfriend for being a lumbersexual. He’s not the one who is gross lumbersexual, but he’s on the hot ones. I am proud of it.?
Picked out corduroy shirt & pants to wear, plus boots, & somehow ended up being in the mood to listen to Mumford & Sons. I expect to be a full-blown lumbersexual with a beard in about week thanks for your support?
Bearded white boys are always trying to promote drinking IPA like it’s a new discovery and acting like it’s not the pumpkin spice latte of the lumbersexual community.
I have just enough facial hair to have to shave but not enough to become a lumbersexual.
Lumbersexual wannabes? Oh, you can see them at the bar. Trying to hook up chick, and only fool will sleep with them. They are trying to be cool, but no they are not.
Just an honest opinion for me, please do not get offended but lumbersexual looks homeless guys. Again, just my cent.
HAHAHAHAHA OMG. This comment made my day! It’s rude, but kind of funny lol.