If you’re a regular reader of Urbanette, then you know that we have a tenancy to veer to the serious side sometimes. That’s why we thought it was high time we brought you something sexy, silly, and fun. Cue the lumbersexuals!
In case you’re unfamiliar, there are two kinds of lumbersexuals: the fake kind and the sexy kind. Here’s how to spot the real ones, weed out the hipsters, and get over the fact that you’ve fallen for a beard-sporting, flannel-loving, Army boot-wearing man (who also may wear faux glasses and a droopy beanie that your dad makes fun of because hey, nobody is perfect).
Best Places to Find a Lumbersexual
Rock climbing gyms, live music venues, Frisbee golf courses, the lake, the river, the hardware store — this is where you find real lumbersexuals. They are at bars, too (but then again, so are the lumbering not-so-sexuals).
How to Avoid the Lumbering Not-So-Sexuals
Are his pants so tight that his thigh gap is wider than yours? Is he wearing Tom’s? Drinking a hard cider? This lumbering not-so-sexual may own a lot of plaid and have poor grooming habits, but odds are, he doesn’t know how to do many of the things that make real lumbersexuals so intoxicating. The allure of the lumbersexual is a manliness with an edge of fashionability, right? Well, consider this a guy a designer knockoff and beware!
How to Deal with His Fake Glasses
Fake glasses? That serve no medical purpose whatsoever? What is next, lumbersexuals? A plastic ax? What if we put a little fake bird on your shoulder like the kind my aunt gets from craft stores?
We may hate on the faux rims fad but dangit, at least this guy has some guts. It’s kinda refreshing to meet a guy who is rugged and still likes to accessorize, right? And really, fake glasses are a ridiculous thing in concept, but we lie about fake eyelashes and summer highlights, so why shouldn’t men have their little secrets, too?
Still not feeling it? If you really hate them, you could just ‘accidentally’ squish them while packing his CamelBak for a surprise day hike… whoops! He can always get another $10 pair, but in the meantime tell him how hot he looks without them.
How to Deal with His Droopy Beanie
We all know this look. The hottest guy in the room sporting a beanie that looks like a deflated balloon taped to the back of his head. Is it just me, or is a beanie only hot when it looks like he would snowboard in it? The lumbersexual is all about gettin’ things done, using tools and being efficient. So an emo beanie just doesn’t cut it. Get him something structured, strong and knitted, with ear flaps or faux fur/leather and buckle detail. His desire to wear cheeky accessories will take over and break him from his sad droopy beanie habit.
All Flannel, All the Time
Over the last few years, we’ve all become experts at spotting a flannel from across the room in a sea of no-effort T-shirts. It’s a beacon of hope that there are still manly men out there who can build you a house AND help you decorate it, too (or at least be willing to look through the Pinterest board).
The expanding population of smart, dare-we-say sophisticated lumbersexuals is a pretty encouraging development. And the fashion world is even taking notice. The Guardian calls the trend “faux-hobo” and boasts the practicality of the style. That’s right. It’s finally fashionable to be practical. Oh wait, it always was — for men, anyway. Sorry, ladies.
Now that you’ve found your lumbersexual and fallen for him like a tree in the forest and you don’t care who hears it, make sure you two stay cozy all winter long. Get some legit matching flannels and get to studying up on whatever gets this grizzly god of plaid outside and smiling.
Are you obsessed with lumbersexuals too? Do tell!
I like the sexy kind. My ex-boyfriend is a lumbersexual. He pays for his beard to get done properly, and he does frisbee. Thank God he’s not wearing fake eyeglasses because he has poor eyesight already.
Gross! Those lumbersexual are disgusting. They look like they are not taking a bath for too long. In some people, they may be nice, but for some, it’s not fashionable.
So even a girl can call herself lumbersexual? I saw a post on twitter wearing a check polo, and she called herself a lumber.
Hmm, I think if that woman has a beard, well yes? Lol just kidding.? I don’t know too.
My beard looks so damn gross right now. Please assure me that I’ll look like a lumbersexual eventually. Might fuck around and trim if not. ?
MY FORMER DEBATE COACH JUST CALLED MY BF ‘LUMBERSEXUAL’ I DON’T KNOW IF IM GOING TO BE HAPPY WITH THAT OR NOT.
That’s Marshall’s friend at HIMYM! Hohoho he’s so hot! I hate that he turned into an evil guy at the end.
I hate people who wear fake glasses. It’s like you are trying to be cool? Guess what, having a poor eyesight is never cool, bruh.
I think the population of women who like lumbersexuals are those who are in the middle ages or the matured type. I don’t see young women aiming for men like this because it seems like a slightly odd taste for young women. I also feel like lumbersexuals are those men who you want to rely on with tasks at home since they’re acing their powertools game. ? I don’t exactly go for bearded men either. However, I do respect other people’s taste! No worries, no judging.
My parents would disown me if I brought home a man like this. I think the ideal men now are men who look dashing in suits. People are so big with people who are in the corporate world. Haven’t really seen men in suits sport a fluffy beard.
The photos here remind me a lot of men in movies that the female lead doesn’t choose. They’re like the men whom the lead has been friends with since childhood but that’s it.? The sad life of lumbersexuals.