Whores, tarts, hags, strumpets and mistresses are all names from the Victorian era, given to female aberrations. This is not the bad girl who after a few beers on a Friday has wild sex with a stranger then swiftly back to routine by Monday morning. No, I am directing you to those who loiter at the outer reaches of society. The women who we love to hate; who are lost in a chasm; in no (wo)man’s land!
The fear is that once a woman has moved outside of society’s acceptable boundaries, she isn’t allowed back in. To the patriarchal world, these women and ‘sex’ are synonymous — but not in an acceptable way. Take the fear, when we were growing up, of being seen as a slut for sleeping with a guy too soon; the worry that he would judge us and think we weren’t worth the second phone call. If it got out about our promiscuity, socially, we might as well be dead.
At thirteen years old, I remember feeling suicidal from shame after one night of fornication in a fishing tent. The boy was fifteen, confident, and with his friend. They bantered whilst smoking cigarettes as my friend, Angela, and I tried to appear cool. The guy who she fancied suddenly started kissing me. I didn’t enjoy it but I didn’t have the guts to say no. His hands darted down there. I shoved him off and ran all the way home, leaving a scowling Angela behind. It was only a few days before the whispering began. I was suddenly branded Angela’s slutty ex-friend. And while I was tortured, the boy who caused me so much shame gloated, happily.
This level of degradation should never be accepted.
Throughout history, the bad girl has been portrayed as a depraved outsider. No matter what people say in public about how they think porn isn’t a big deal, I bet I’m right when I say that they likely find those exact porn stars just too much too bear. They are, after all, conformation of absolute misogyny. Sex on camera per se is not problematic, but the dominant (violently misogynistic) form of porn is. Any movement, no matter how purportedly ‘liberating’, that portrays men as dominant is hardly radical.
If we look around, we can see how society has arranged itself around men’s wants. The sex industry fulfills the whore narrative and lets the wives and girlfriends remain chaste. Although these ‘chaste’ wives and girlfriends are now being encouraged to act like the whore — or risk him having love affairs with porn under the banner of male entitlement.
Take Charlie Sheen’s porn star ex, Bree Olson, and her recent confessions via YouTube. In the video, which went viral, Olson bemoans ‘society’ and its lack of acceptance of her past work, and in particular her troubles when trying to forge a mainstream career. Bree is quick to add that there’s nothing wrong with porn. She’s just frustrated by how people will treat her for the rest of her life.
The porn star is ripe for public revulsion. Their sexuality is imprisoned by men, labelled forever as both desirous and disgusting. Many women, like Bree, entered the industry thinking that they were embracing their sexuality, but it merely emerged as a trick that’s restricted her options forever. Although this is sad for her, and other women in this situation, the truth is that what they represent is deeply oppressive.
Ask any female porn star and they swear they’re empowered every-time, with mentions of $20k monthly paychecks, but that’s the only thing they do get. Money comes and goes but their degradation is crystallised. This should never be accepted.
As young women, we quickly learn that our value is in our sexual offerings, and our search for validation is set up to align with this. The industry works in synergy with these preconceptions, with promises of adoration and money for the starlet. Little do they know that this bonus was collateral damage for future ostracizing. At the grand age of 29, Bree has had to return to sex-cam work, with the hope of crossing over into ‘the movies’ one day. Due to her big profile, this is all but impossible, despite having amassed six years worth of filmed footage. She sums up her experience: ‘The words (on the internet) are something I didn’t expect to affect me in my everyday life. When I go out, I feel as if I’m wearing ‘slut’ across my forehead.’
The saturation of porn has laid ground for multitudes of instances where people are living in regret — as more are entering the sex industry than ever before. When Bree Olson bewails society, she should really turn her rage to the industry that normalized her downfall.
Of course it’s okay to have your own personal opinions on sex, but these should not be an excuse for making others feel like crap. Sex is not always a sacred thing. Its the 21st century! Sex can just be for fun and having sexual freedom does not mean that an individual doesn’t respect themselves! Slut shaming is merely a form of social control, used by those who are scared of people (often women) expressing a healthy, sexual desire. Also I see that a lot of people using the spread of STD’s and unwanted pregnancies as an excuse. Newsflash!! Contraception can be used! Yes they don’t work 100% of the time, but they definitely decrease the likelihood of these things occurring. Two adults having consensual sex is not a bad thing.
Slut-shamming is outdated. Centuries ago, promiscuity caused overpopulation and std’s which caused people to starve and suffer. It would make sense for that society to repress sexuality. Now in this day in age where we have condoms, birth control and technological advances to prevent std’s, people should now be allowed to express their sexuality as long as it does not harm anyone.
So true!!!! If slutshaming was about decency and self respect wouldn’t it be equally common amongst men and women? If it is merely criticism then why are people calling victims of rape sluts who were asking for it?
Well, let’s see.. What could possibly be wrong with labelling someone and making them feel small?? (hint the sarcasm). Slut is mainly aimed at women… It is WRONG, sexist and shouldn’t be used AT ALL. Since when does somebody else’s sex life effect us in the slightest ?
I don’t see why people do it. It just causes hate and evil in this world. Like evil spelt backwards is live… And thats what we need to do. ?
Let people do what they want. Simple as that. Alas, it is the 21st century and if I want to have sex with 7 guys in two days, I will. It is nobody’s religious duty to call me a whore because they think it is disgusting. It is, however disrespectful. So instead of shoving their beliefs on someone and just straight up being rude, they need to learn to respect other people’s choices.
Men get sexually frustrated- THEY THINK WOMEN CANT?! “I’m waiting till marriage because I’m not a slut” “we had sex but now I feel like a slut” WHY BECA– USE YOU HAD SEX? Why are we shaming sex? Slut shaming only does more harm than good. Instead Society should teach men and women self awareness, healthy sexual habits, fact based sex ED, and that SEX IS NOT ALL CASUAL AND FUN- you can get pregnant!!! These are some of the most important issues that society should really be stressing on, not condemning women- but providing them more knowledge, more wisdom, more REAL LIFE IMPLICATIONS. Not “if you have casual sex then your a whore!”
People can slut shame as much as they want, and guess what- problem not solved. It didn’t work on males, they think females are going to not sleep around? Not dress how they want? Not go wild? Hook up ect ect ?. Nope, they’re still doing it. Just like men, except men don’t feel the need to hide it. What’s the purpose of slut shaming? To restrict females from access and limit their freedom?
Slut-shaming is not right as it is a clear way of disrespecting women’s choices. If a women wishes to be a particular way, we have no right whatsoever to belittle her and disrespect her self-made decisions. That said, there is a part of our society, both younger and older generations, who are badly affected by certain acts or images of those people. In the long term, they might make decisions they’ll come to regret. So, maintenance of proper conscience is a must. At the end of it all, if we can respect ourselves and our decisions, we’ll stop shaming others. Dignity in life is the key to self-discipline. Women who have chosen such a lifestyle have chosen it by choice. We should not question their dignity but accept them as they are. It’s our own mentality that requires moralising.
You could prove male porn consumer’s hatred of the women whose prostitution they get off to just by analyzing the comments you see all over the internet: “Porn business is bad for women and they suffer and are violated but it turns me on, HUZZAH!”
I bet it’s even worse on free porn sites. Once I read a comment saying that a clip depicted something “almost like rape” (paraphrasing) because of the legal grey zone when it comes to the “casting” of porn performers (no standards for the employment procedure). Rape obviously made it totally sexy… How psychotic is that?!