When I caught my last boyfriend cheating on me (with a Hooters waitress, no less!), I was crushed. How could he do this? Doesn’t he value my feelings more than a tawdry fling with some tramp? Clearly not. What a dolt. Anyhow, I soon learned that there’s no sense trying to make sense of crazy. Let crazy be crazy and stay far, far away.
I didn’t come to that conclusion quickly though. After that breakup, I stayed indoors for way too long wondering about my own worth in the eyes of men. What a waste of time. Now, I know that enduring a breakup or divorce can obviously be an incredibly emotional and exasperating time. Whether you’ve parted with a partner of several years or several months, it’s likely you’ve been feeling blue and rather uninspired.
Though it can hard to accept that one chapter of your life has come to a close, remember that new and exciting times await you. Take control of your story and reinvent yourself post-breakup by revisiting an old hobby, signing up for a language class, or exploring an extreme sport. Whatever your interests, get out there and celebrate them.
To help embrace your newfound freedom, he’s a list of activities that helped me get back out there and seize the day:
Embrace Your Inner Wanderlust
Now that you have the opportunity to create your own itinerary, it’s time you embrace your inner wanderlust. Whether you plan to travel solo, or you’ve corralled the ladies for an adventurous road trip. Whip out that travel bucket list you’ve been neglecting and get ready to start crossing off some destinations. Another way to see the sites while also saving money is to embark on a solo cruise. The coordinated stops of cruise lines offer a wide variety of ambiances and experiences — from exploration to romance, rest and relaxation. Ask yourself what you’re hoping to achieve by traveling, be it enrichment, education or just simply adventure.
Foster Your Friendships
Beat the loneliness and fill that hole you feel by spending time with your best friends. There are plenty of scientific studies showing that being around close friends not only makes people happy, but is the key to living a long and healthy life. And who better than your bestie to tell you that he wasn’t worth your time in the first place? Deep down you always knew you were too good for him — why not surround yourself with others who agree with you?
Nature’s Healing Powers
There’s no time like the present to take up an outdoor hobby. Take advantage of the natural healing properties of gardening, which can lower depression and improve mood and balance. If you’re looking for something with a bit more punch, learn about your local water sports. Paddle boarding, kayaking, and jet skiing are all exciting ways to embrace the outdoors. If you’d rather stick to land, map out some of your city’s popular hiking trails. Not only does this activity offer fresh air and scenic views, it also inspires heart-pumping exercise and increases your body’s production of endorphins, the feel good chemical. You could also try checking out some exercise-related meetups or local events.
Become a Foster Mom
If you’re feeling lonely and in need of a loving companion, get involved with your local animal shelter and become a foster mom. All over the country, thousands of dogs and cats are desperate for homes and affection. Give back to your community and make a difference by taking in a temporary pet. You’ll appreciate the distraction from your worries and you’ll feel good knowing you’re helping an otherwise homeless, lonely pet. Who knows, your temporary arrangement could prove to be a lasting friendship!
Find Your Center
Sometimes what you really need after a breakup is some quiet time to heal and regroup. Perhaps now is your chance to explore an alternative career trajectory, or consider relocating to a new part of town or even a new state. Use this time to pinpoint all the things you want out of life, and then create a game plan.
Another way to get centered is to take up yoga and master the art of meditation. Not only can meditation help to you to get happy again, but both yoga and meditation help to manage stress and weight gain. Sounds like a win-win to me!
Moving on is not easy, you can say that doing this, and doing that will help you to move on but it’s in the person’s heart if he/she is ready to move on.
Urgh! I remember all the feelings that I felt when we broke up. All the pain and screaming in my room. I wish I won’t feel the same pain again.
We all know how bad a breakup can affect each person, almost all of us have been there. Break-ups can be energy draining and depressing, it will waste most of your time since you’ll be crying and whining to your friends about how mean and bad your ex was. You will also find yourself spending too much time on social media stalking your ex, and all the break-up aftermath hullabaloo. But choosing to be happy again and drifting all the negative energy into positive ones, is a different story. Thumbs up on all the advice that you’ve given, will help everyone who’s going through the tough phase of a breakup.
Good advices, all of them. What speaks to me most is the advice to up meditation. I myself am just a newbie, (started it as a part of the yoga class) but I can already feel the positive impact. Those who practice it learn self-awareness and awareness of your surroundings at the same time, and how to switch focus between them and see what’s more important. Useful skills to have in case of any dire situation, painful break-ups included!
Loving yourself more than anybody else will definitely make you happy! You always need to leave something to yourself!
It's true that breakups can be an opportunity to incorporate something new and awesome into your life. These are great suggestions.
I believe this is where “loving yourself more” comes in. If you love yourself more than you love your partner, then it’s easier for you to mend the broken pieces after a break up 🙂
But, oh! I’m not suggesting you to be narcissistic, okay?!
It's also important to evaluate how you changed during your relationship and see if these changes are good or bad. People often lose themselves in relationships. Post-breakup will allow you to re-evaluate and re-discover yourself. Great advice, especially about foster parenting pets (which most people don't know about).
I just broke up with someone (his loss) and I really needed this article – good timing! Thanks!
Breakups are hard, but in a way it's a time for you to re-evaluate your life. Going out there and finding new adventures, a place to live, or spending more time on yourself is rewarding and healing. Plus, doing new things opens you to opportunities and living your life to the fullest.