Let’s face it, ladies. After the sexy honeymoon phase and the initial butterflies, the dynamics in a relationship are bound to change with time. The longer you remain in a relationship, the more likely you are to hit a point where he (or she) takes you for granted.
No need to freak out just yet though. This isn’t reason enough to assume that he doesn’t love you anymore. Rather, his behavior may simply indicate that he views you as a staple in his life, someone he knows he can count on. Your job, however, is to remind him that even if you are, it doesn’t excuse him from putting in effort to make you feel valued.
To prevent the relationship from further cementing itself into a monotonous routine, give these first-hand tips a try:
1) Change it up
Do you feel like he (or she) isn’t putting any effort into the relationship? His (probably subconscious) reasoning for why he acts the way he does can most likely be attributed to the fact that your routine with him has already been set. For example, you may meet on the same evenings or days each week, get take-out from the same restaurant and watch the same shows on Hulu. While that may feel comfortable, it would be a surprise to find anyone who wouldn’t get bored with the regularity of never-changing plans.
Try suggesting new places to eat, spend an evening outdoors, go to a concert, or get a group of friends together. Aim to do something new or different once every week or week and a half. Make a pact to surprise each other at least once a month with secret and romantic date night plans.
2) Communicate
Generally, as a rule of thumb, it’s encouraged to give men space, at least in the early dating stages, and allow them to do most of the planning and pursuing. Allow him take the initiative and go at his own pace. If you’re always leading or planning things, this might set the pattern for the rest of the relationship/courtship and eventually leave you feeling taken for granted.
Though it’s important to let him know how you feel, make it a point to remind him how relationships require effort from both parties, not just one. It’s not acceptable for him to think or act like he can just show up and not take the time to invest, care, or plan.
Be careful of the way you approach this conversation — if he (or she) feels like he is being attacked, it is likely that he’ll get defensive about how he’s been acting, rather than open-minded.
3) Get your own life
Similar to changing your routine, constantly being available to your man can indirectly tell him that you’ll always be there at his beck-and-call. This doesn’t mean that you should never see him or that he needs to plummet on your list of priorities, but giving each other the space to do your own thing will also give you both the chance to miss each other and value the time you spend together.
Has it been awhile since you met with your girlfriends? When was the last time you were able to pamper yourself with some TLC?
The healthiest relationships I know are the ones that value how time is spent, both apart and together. Being in a relationship or being married doesn’t mean that you both fuse into one person or that you lose yourself in the other. You are meant to share your lives together, not be dictated by it.
But despite all these suggestions, which are good for any relationship, if a guy is taking you for granted, maybe it’s simply time to move on and find someone who won’t…
Not sure if #3 is the right thing or if it was just worded in a not so nice way? But when you’re already starting to feel like you’re being taken for granted, I’m not sure if distancing yourself or creating that space would be good. It’s like this stupid logic of letting men chase you or trying to act like you’re showing him how it feels to lose you. Imagine that backfiring? It’s going to explode in your face because what you can possibly get there is a nasty breakup.?
You’re right, in a way. But I guess we should just use this opportunity to weed out men who really deserve to be in our lives.
So true about giving space to each other! It makes you miss each other more, and make you long for each other’s company. Though you must not let anyone intrude in between during your short respite, and never prolong it as you intend it to.
Finding people who won’t take you for granted is very rare. Mainly because people who appreciate you are so rare as well.
As much as I want to keep repairing relationships that are broken to begin with, these 3 things don’t really work.?
Communication is very important in each relationship. It is for you to understand your partner very well. You don’t have to pretend everything is okay when it is not. Try to voice out, and tell your partner how you really feel.
I agree. We always ensure that we are open to each other’s feelings because that is very important. Our relationship won’t last if we keep our feelings from each other, and just agree on what we think is “fine”.
My boyfriend is ignoring me for a very long time and I think he has lost interest in me. Like he doesn’t want to go out, even doesn’t take my call some times. And always cancels on the plans. I thought he doesn’t love me anymore but I have started to realize that maybe he is bored because of the monotonous lifestyle that we live. We need to do something adventurous to bring the spark back into our relationship.
Meaning, I have to let him be superior at first? Follow all his plans in our relationship? Would it be fair if we both have a voice in our relationship since day 1?
It’s common that people take each other for granted in a relationship after some time. What you need to do is take extra efforts with your partner and make him realize hum much you love him and try to do different activities together.
I have started to feel that he is ignoring me many times. I was so worried. But thank you for the tips I’ll try them and get his attention back.
I and my husband are always taking our time alone with our friends, and that is our secret why in our 5 years of marriage, and 7 years of dating we are still very much in love with each other.