Preparing for the Big Day… and Enjoying It!

Tips on how to get through this tough time.


If you’re like most couples, you’ve spent a lot of time preparing for your wedding day. After all, the plan is that this is going to be your one and only wedding day. At least, that’s the hope. And if you’re the bride … chances are you’ve been dreaming about this day since you were a little girl.

So, it’s gotta be special; really, really special.

Preparing for the Big Day… and Enjoying It!For some couples, it will take several months to plan and for others, it could be as much as a year in the making. Regardless of the amount of time for preparations, the common thread is that you want it all to turn out right. There are lots and lots of details: where you’ll have the event, the music, the flowers, who will be chosen as the bride’s maids and groom’s men, and of course … the dress! The list seems to go on and on.

Have you started having fights with each other yet?

If you haven’t, don’t be surprised if you do. They’re pretty common while you’re planning your wedding. As wonderful an event as this is, it’s all very stressful. There’s so much to do. You’re also having to deal with the needs of two different families who each see the world a little differently. Emotions are running high, at this time, and that makes everyone more sensitive.

Many fall into the trap of thinking that just because you love one another, everything will be fine.

Preparing for the Big Day… and Enjoying It!

Finally, the big day arrives. I’m a big believer in having the right expectations about everything in life. When you have the right expectations, you’re more prepared to deal with situations appropriately. That being said, I’d like to suggest some things to be aware of so that the wedding
can go off in a way that will create wonderful memories:

1. It’s likely that something will go wrong.

Whenever there’s so much detail involved, something is bound to not be perfect. You’re better off expecting this to be the case. The good news is that no one who’s attending knows all the details … only you do. So, whatever it is, let it go
because it just doesn’t matter. Something small should not take away from your enjoyment.

2. Your guests will follow your lead.

If you’re nervous and anxious, they’ll pick up your energy, without even realizing it, and respond similarly. Allow yourself to have a good time. Relax and enjoy all your efforts. It’s going to be a wonderful party.

3. Time passes quickly.

Though you’ve spent months planning for this wonderful day, the actual event is only going to last somewhere between four to five hours. Some of you will have hired a video person to recapture the memories. But even video can’t get the total feeling. Several times during the event, stop and look around. Take it all in. This is a very special time in your life and you want to make sure to be aware of it.

Preparing for the Big Day… and Enjoying It!There’s one more expectation I want to share with you. Since you’ve been putting so much time and energy into all this planning, it’s quite possible that you might have a letdown when it’s all over. Know that this is normal. One way to help yourself is to watch the video or look at the photos. Alternately, start making plans for future projects.

Finally, remember to put time and effort into each other. All too often, couples get caught up in the plans of the wedding and forget about each other. Many fall into the trap of thinking that just because you love one another, everything will be fine. Certainly, the love has to be there. But the reality is that if you want your relationship to work, you have to work at your relationship. And … the results will last much longer than four to five hours!

Avatar of Dr. Karen Sherman

Also a psychologist, author and professor, Dr. Karen Sherman is a licensed psychologist in NY. She’s had a private practice for 25 years with a specialty in relationships. She has written eight books, including Marriage Magic! Find It, Keep It, and Make It Last and Mindfulness and The Art of Choice: Transform Your Life.

Reader Discussion: 4 Comments

  1. Avatar of Arabella Clarington

    "Wedding preparation stress" is caused by the groom and bride's aim to make the wedding very personal. For me, the secret is "being patient." And of course, always be excited, for excitement brings “happiness” that combats all the negatives…

  2. Avatar of Hannah Mayers

    Hannah Mayers

    Oh yes, wedding preparations are very stressful. Disagreements are part of it but I think disagreements add up to the excitement of wedding preparation.

  3. Avatar of Zenab Bello-Osagie

    Weddings can be soooooo stressful but worth it. Make sure to have fun at your own wedding, relax you finally made it happen.
    But after your honeymoon is back to reality and work. It takes more than love to have a lasting marriage.It takes a lot of patience, devotion and disagreements.

  4. Avatar of Gabrielle Williams

    Gabrielle Williams

    You’re so right!

    Sometimes the height of the adrenaline rush that goes into the wedding preparations are what we try to seek after the wedding festivities. I myself could not believe that the panic is all over after the honeymoon, when we’re both settled down in our apartment.

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