Sitting in a cafe in midtown Manhattan, I observe two young women. Both are mid-20s, attractive and on the slimmer side of average. They are talking animatedly about something. Curious, I lean in. I suspect that they are talking about a saucy first date, a juicy piece of workplace gossip, or at least a scandalous Tweet. But no, they are talking about their weights. They are talking about how they plan to tighten and tone “just a little more.” One of them is on a gluten-free diet. The other is on a strict cross-training schedule. Both have stopped drinking alcohol and eliminated sweets. These are pretty, healthy-looking girls, not the kind you would expect to have such concerns. As they continue to chat, I have to wonder what, or for whom they are doing this for.
It’s become common to hear about the way society, the media and the world at large place unreasonable demands upon a woman’s appearance. So common in fact that further discussion seems redundant. Well, I’m not here to reiterate what you’ve already heard. I’m here to propose that we change the conversation.
Trying to empower women by trying to convince people that every woman is beautiful is a well-intentioned but misguided effort.
A counter movement is happening, and that movement says that we should expand our definition of what is beautiful. There are girls whose images you can see transformed from unpolished start to airbrushed finish on YouTube. With a quick internet search, you can see pictures of mothers pre-pregnancy and post-pregnancy. And they are proud of the contrast. The Dove Real Beauty campaign demonstrated how respecting women as humans rather than objects can translate into profits. These types of efforts will continue. They challenge our preconceived notions of what’s beautiful, and that’s a good thing.
But the problem with these types of efforts is that they’re all still focused on the way that a woman looks. The real question is, why is being beautiful the focus at all? Whether a woman is “beautiful” or not, it’s a shame that her value seems be so tied up with her appearance. Trying to empower women by trying to convince people that every woman is beautiful is a well-intentioned but misguided effort. It’s asking people to look beyond the superficial without actually going beyond the surface. It’s shining the spotlight on what we’re asking people to overlook while failing to provide an alternative focus.
Rather than focusing on expanding our idea of “beautiful,” let’s expand our idea of how we measure worth. Let’s stop talking about a woman’s appearance altogether. Let’s shift our attention to the work she’s doing, the kindness that she shows, the strength she shares and the difference she’s making in the world. Let’s stop talking about bodies and faces and start talking about the people who wear them.
What do you think are the pros and cons
of expanding the idea of what is beautiful?
Do you think these types of efforts are more
or less empowering to women and why?
We’d love to hear your thoughts below!
I read it somewhere that we need to stop telling other women they’re beautiful. Mainly because they could or would start believing it’s their main value. I personally think that this issue is too extreme, a little unnecessary. There’s nothing wrong with looking at a person, consider them beautiful and for someone to acknowledge it. It’s all about how certain people process the thought. I mean, why would you think that your personal appearance is everything? You have talents, capabilities and other things that can be of better value to who you are as a person. It all boils down to shallow thoughts that other people have.
I find it annoying whenever I hear slim and sexy women complain about their so-called fats. Then what about me? I’m an XL sized woman who can’t fit in freesize clothes. Yet those who are slimmer than me are those who are complaining about being unhealthy and all that crap. Then what does that make me? A fatass? ?
Hah, I feel you. I hear a lot of women do that and it makes people like us feel like we’re the lesser kind. It’s foolish.
Those girls that you mentioned in the first part of the article are shallow. They obviously can’t see the value of themselves.
How come I never read articles about men complaining about how they also have standards they have to keep in society? How come we dudes aren’t yapping about how they put loads of tissues on male models’ underwear just to make the bulges look bigger? How come our fellow dudes with dad bods don’t complain about those hunky models?
Well this is funny. But it’s true. Let’s not forget the fact that men also have issues like this and it’s not just women. Women are just pretty vocal about what they think and men are the opposite.
I’m not trying to justify my acts but, I don’t normally talk about another person’s appearance unless they have issues with their personality/attitudes. I wouldn’t really see a person as ugly unless they do something ugly. The problem with people is that they attract attention towards themselves. I know it’s bad to mock someone about their appearance, but in my experience I only do it when they act horribly against other people as well. It doesn’t have anything to do with actual apperances. If you know what I mean…
I appreciate brands like Dove trying to correct the views of women in the society. I hope more people do that so we no longer have to strive for perfection.
We all want to be looked at as smart and powerful women, not just beautiful women. But the thing is, sometimes it’s not about how the society makes it seem like, but how certain individuals have mastered the art of judging other people.?
A lot of people have become superficial and materialistic. It all adds up to problems like this. People just stopped being contented with who they are.
It’s a little counter intuitive for companies to talk about beauty in diversity and all that, when in fact what they sell are cosmetics that continue to alter our definition of beauty. (I’m talking about Rihanna’s beauty line)
Oh yeah, the campaign seemed to have a positive feedback. But in reality that’s just as far as we can normalize the standards of beauty.
Even with other people’s efforts to eradicate the fact that the standards of beauty have taken its toll on other women, it’s something you can’t fully get rid of, unfortunately.