I was talking to my best friend the other day, and she admitted something to me. That about a year ago, a guy she dated for a about a month gave her herpes. The shocking part was that he had an outbreak the first time they got naked and, when she asked about it, he said that it’s not a disease — that his penis had simply always had those marks on it. She trusted him and, consequently, two weeks later, she had her first outbreak of this incurable disease. When she confronted him, he denied it, but she could see on his face that he was lying. Whether his hormones took over, was too embarrassed to talk about it, or he simply wanted to feel ‘normal’, she’ll never know. At any rate, it was unfortunately too little too late, for her.
It’s not easy to accept having a STD. For those that suffer from them, it’s common to want to ignore the issue. In attempts to feel normal, some simply don’t get tested (too scary!) or knowingly continue to spread the infection or STD through unprotected sex.
Could it be, for that individual’s various personal reasons, the spread of STDs and STIs are not always accidental, but rather, deliberate?
This is not to say that those carrying infection or disease are deliberately trying to harm others. Although there have been cases of very conscious and deliberate STD spreading (apparently some feel that they’ll be more normal if others have the disease as well), this is not the norm in general.
Usually, in an effort to deal with such a serious and anxiety-ridden personal issue, continued unprotected sex is a semi-unconscious reaction. The infected person rationalizes the concern for the other person’s safety away, or simply forces one’s self not to think about it at all. As a result, there are 19 million new cases of STDs each year.
According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, every year, 1 out of 4 teenagers contract a sexually transmitted disease.
I mean, I get it. Coming to terms with having a STD like herpes or HIV would be so awful that I’d want to just ignore it too. It’s life changing, which is why denial of the condition easily accompanies this reality. Dishonesty runs rampant for those infected. I mean, who would want to risk their friends or colleagues finding out about their secret? Fear of rejection by family and friends is understandable.
They protect their secret because they don’t want to risk seeming unattractive, like they could be damaging to others, or because it has the possibility of making it hard to have a ‘normal’ relationship. The stigma presented by the general public is enough to encourage a carrier to hide this unfortunate truth.
People with STD’s are no different when it comes to wanting a normal life, sexual and otherwise. Most often, they do not have ill-will or a desire to deliberately spread the infection (although some misogynists have admitted to doing exactly that). Again, continued sexual intercourse without disclosure is often an emotional and unconscious reaction to a deep desire to maintain a normal life.
In attempts to feel normal, they continue to have unprotected sex and spread the disease.
Here are a few things you should know:
- Condoms protect against HIV, but not against many other STD’s like herpes and genital warts.
- If your partner has spots or sores — stay away!!
- A blood test can tell you if you have herpes.
- Herpes can be spread even without visible symptoms.
- Always use a condom.
- Look for signs of other diseases that a condom can’t protect against, like herpes.
- Ask your partner if they have a STD before you start making out (once you’re in the thick of it, they’re even less likely to be honest). But don’t trust a person just because they say they’re ‘clean’.
What it boils down to is picking partners who aren’t ‘players’ (the less sexual partners they’ve had, in theory, the lower the risk), and –I hate to say it– opting to masturbate instead of going home with that hot guy from the bar. The less partners you have, the lower your risk. Oh yeah; and do your next partner a favor — get tested!
Having STD or HIV is a tough situation. That infection is killing you slowly, not just physically, but mentally as well. People who suffer from this disease are losing their hopes. That is why they intend to keep it as a secret so they can avoid discrimination.
I know of a Man and a Woman who have been intentionally exposing people to HIV since 1997. I was one of them – however, my DNA protected me from acquiring it from what my Doctors have told me. These people have exposed more than a handful of people and there is absolutely nothing I can do to stop it. I filed a criminal complaint but they would not even look into it due to the statute of limitations having ran out. I’ve gone as public as i possibly can with my story.
Keep fighting don’t let evil win it’s easy to give up but a true hero fights for the inocente or the weaker that are unable for whatever reason that may be???
Is that 1 out of 5? Holy! Teenagers are more exposed to sex than adults. This is alarming.The next generation is people with STD.
It’s somehow your friend’s fault too. If she’s careful enough, she won’t get infected.
Don’t get fucked if you barely knew the person. If you’re going to have sex on your first date, use protection.
As a man, it’s just right to us protection when having sexual intercourse. We all know that it’s different compared to unprotected sex. I think it’s better to be safe than to say sorry in the end.
Let’s just be considerate. Having this type of illness is life-changing. They want to live a normal life, which is impossible.
Why on earth do they need to deny their situation? I mean, it’s our right to know the truth! They are spreading an infection that is incurable.
Oh, cmon. You guys should be responsible for this. If you use protection, then everybody is safe! How much is the condom compared to the incurable illness?
I also have a friend who’s suffering from STD. She got that from a one night stand. She’s drunk, and she’s not in the right mind when she had sex with the guy. Her family doesn’t know her condition right now.
Feel sorry for your friend. HIV is incurable. Having this is like the end of the world. Let’s just be careful when having sexual intercourse with people we barely know.