I was talking to my best friend the other day, and she admitted something to me. That about a year ago, a guy she dated for a about a month gave her herpes. The shocking part was that he had an outbreak the first time they got naked and, when she asked about it, he said that it’s not a disease — that his penis had simply always had those marks on it. She trusted him and, consequently, two weeks later, she had her first outbreak of this incurable disease. When she confronted him, he denied it, but she could see on his face that he was lying. Whether his hormones took over, was too embarrassed to talk about it, or he simply wanted to feel ‘normal’, she’ll never know. At any rate, it was unfortunately too little too late, for her.
It’s not easy to accept having a STD. For those that suffer from them, it’s common to want to ignore the issue. In attempts to feel normal, some simply don’t get tested (too scary!) or knowingly continue to spread the infection or STD through unprotected sex.
Could it be, for that individual’s various personal reasons, the spread of STDs and STIs are not always accidental, but rather, deliberate?
This is not to say that those carrying infection or disease are deliberately trying to harm others. Although there have been cases of very conscious and deliberate STD spreading (apparently some feel that they’ll be more normal if others have the disease as well), this is not the norm in general.
Usually, in an effort to deal with such a serious and anxiety-ridden personal issue, continued unprotected sex is a semi-unconscious reaction. The infected person rationalizes the concern for the other person’s safety away, or simply forces one’s self not to think about it at all. As a result, there are 19 million new cases of STDs each year.
According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, every year, 1 out of 4 teenagers contract a sexually transmitted disease.
I mean, I get it. Coming to terms with having a STD like herpes or HIV would be so awful that I’d want to just ignore it too. It’s life changing, which is why denial of the condition easily accompanies this reality. Dishonesty runs rampant for those infected. I mean, who would want to risk their friends or colleagues finding out about their secret? Fear of rejection by family and friends is understandable.
They protect their secret because they don’t want to risk seeming unattractive, like they could be damaging to others, or because it has the possibility of making it hard to have a ‘normal’ relationship. The stigma presented by the general public is enough to encourage a carrier to hide this unfortunate truth.
People with STD’s are no different when it comes to wanting a normal life, sexual and otherwise. Most often, they do not have ill-will or a desire to deliberately spread the infection (although some misogynists have admitted to doing exactly that). Again, continued sexual intercourse without disclosure is often an emotional and unconscious reaction to a deep desire to maintain a normal life.
In attempts to feel normal, they continue to have unprotected sex and spread the disease.
Here are a few things you should know:
- Condoms protect against HIV, but not against many other STD’s like herpes and genital warts.
- If your partner has spots or sores — stay away!!
- A blood test can tell you if you have herpes.
- Herpes can be spread even without visible symptoms.
- Always use a condom.
- Look for signs of other diseases that a condom can’t protect against, like herpes.
- Ask your partner if they have a STD before you start making out (once you’re in the thick of it, they’re even less likely to be honest). But don’t trust a person just because they say they’re ‘clean’.
What it boils down to is picking partners who aren’t ‘players’ (the less sexual partners they’ve had, in theory, the lower the risk), and –I hate to say it– opting to masturbate instead of going home with that hot guy from the bar. The less partners you have, the lower your risk. Oh yeah; and do your next partner a favor — get tested!
I’m sorry but they just have to accept that if what they have can’t be cured, it’s something that they can no longer just ignore. It’s not an excuse to want to live a normal life. Even those who have cancer wished or prayed at some point that they could live a normal life too. But we can’t always get what we want.
It takes two to tango!! I don’t willingly fornicate and then suffer the consequences of their actions. It’s called cause and effect.
In today’s society, anyone who goes around having unprotected sex is straightly demented.
I would never judge anyone with an STD but if they deliberately spread it, that is when I start the judging.
One must be suspicious of everyone new their intentions The was they act and sad to say look into their past if your ok with all you find and want to be intimate go to the doctor together pph get tested both sides should be concerned if one is to easy peasy something might be off wrap it up still after any test you never know some stds or infections are present but don’t pop up till later so do continuos tests if wanting to go bareback. Lol I’m married been with my man since high school I’m not in the dating world at all but we have a teen now and these are thing I tell him because he needs to know. If it takes years to build a significant friendship why does one trust and give everything within weeks or days of knowing someone. Fooling yourself with lust.
Some people just do it out of meanness – They have a twisted and sick sense of what sex is all about.
I was one who was purposely given herpes. I feel betrayed. I am very angry that my ex boyfriend purposely gave this to me knowing he had the crap. He is out there purposely giving it to any woman who is dumb enough to fall for his charismatic bull. Nothing I can do about it though. Except sit here being alone while he does this to someone else. Nobody will believe me about what an evil sadistic ass he is because he has his act down pat. He is the golden boy in our town. From a rich family.
There is alot you can do throw a party bring your test and say I got this shit cuz of him and if you’ve barebacked it with this playa you got it to don’t sit there alone fight speak your mind educate inspiring others to be safe shaming the ones that are spreading you can do a lot everything happens for a reason embrace this and find the silver lignin ⚜️??⚜️
I think they are servicing the world. They are pushing the evolution cycle forward with their disease. Think about it as natural selection. The weaker dumber species who are exposed will slowly dwindle in number thus pushing the next generation to grow an immunity to the disease. The smart individuals who practiced safe sex then will harvest their immune gene and formulate a vaccine for others that are not immune. Thus creating a far stronger human to disease and infection.
Nice to dream but your calling everyone that has stds dumb don’t point the finger because there’s always three pointing back at you. But it seems very thought threw??
Ok hold on, you don’t just say “oh they’re suffering from STD/STI” THERE are DOZENS of sexually transmitted diseases (STDs) like herpes, HIV, sciophilous, clamydia, HPV, hepatitis, etc. Saying “STD” just poses more questions and generalized those who have them.
I don’t understand why they need to keep it secret. It’s our right to know the truth. That’s a killer disease! Please spread awareness about HIV and STD.
I agree but how often are people truly honest. It’s our responsibility to always be suspicious and protect and guard our temple?