I was talking to my best friend the other day, and she admitted something to me. That about a year ago, a guy she dated for a about a month gave her herpes. The shocking part was that he had an outbreak the first time they got naked and, when she asked about it, he said that it’s not a disease — that his penis had simply always had those marks on it. She trusted him and, consequently, two weeks later, she had her first outbreak of this incurable disease. When she confronted him, he denied it, but she could see on his face that he was lying. Whether his hormones took over, was too embarrassed to talk about it, or he simply wanted to feel ‘normal’, she’ll never know. At any rate, it was unfortunately too little too late, for her.
It’s not easy to accept having a STD. For those that suffer from them, it’s common to want to ignore the issue. In attempts to feel normal, some simply don’t get tested (too scary!) or knowingly continue to spread the infection or STD through unprotected sex.
Could it be, for that individual’s various personal reasons, the spread of STDs and STIs are not always accidental, but rather, deliberate?
This is not to say that those carrying infection or disease are deliberately trying to harm others. Although there have been cases of very conscious and deliberate STD spreading (apparently some feel that they’ll be more normal if others have the disease as well), this is not the norm in general.
Usually, in an effort to deal with such a serious and anxiety-ridden personal issue, continued unprotected sex is a semi-unconscious reaction. The infected person rationalizes the concern for the other person’s safety away, or simply forces one’s self not to think about it at all. As a result, there are 19 million new cases of STDs each year.
According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, every year, 1 out of 4 teenagers contract a sexually transmitted disease.
I mean, I get it. Coming to terms with having a STD like herpes or HIV would be so awful that I’d want to just ignore it too. It’s life changing, which is why denial of the condition easily accompanies this reality. Dishonesty runs rampant for those infected. I mean, who would want to risk their friends or colleagues finding out about their secret? Fear of rejection by family and friends is understandable.
They protect their secret because they don’t want to risk seeming unattractive, like they could be damaging to others, or because it has the possibility of making it hard to have a ‘normal’ relationship. The stigma presented by the general public is enough to encourage a carrier to hide this unfortunate truth.
People with STD’s are no different when it comes to wanting a normal life, sexual and otherwise. Most often, they do not have ill-will or a desire to deliberately spread the infection (although some misogynists have admitted to doing exactly that). Again, continued sexual intercourse without disclosure is often an emotional and unconscious reaction to a deep desire to maintain a normal life.
In attempts to feel normal, they continue to have unprotected sex and spread the disease.
Here are a few things you should know:
- Condoms protect against HIV, but not against many other STD’s like herpes and genital warts.
- If your partner has spots or sores — stay away!!
- A blood test can tell you if you have herpes.
- Herpes can be spread even without visible symptoms.
- Always use a condom.
- Look for signs of other diseases that a condom can’t protect against, like herpes.
- Ask your partner if they have a STD before you start making out (once you’re in the thick of it, they’re even less likely to be honest). But don’t trust a person just because they say they’re ‘clean’.
What it boils down to is picking partners who aren’t ‘players’ (the less sexual partners they’ve had, in theory, the lower the risk), and –I hate to say it– opting to masturbate instead of going home with that hot guy from the bar. The less partners you have, the lower your risk. Oh yeah; and do your next partner a favor — get tested!
I know that having STD is scary, but why do they have to spread it? Why don’t they just keep it to themselves! Cmon, STD is not a joke, but if you are dying with that disease, deal with it, and don’t make other people suffer from it too by giving them this illness!
Because they are hopeless! They will do whatever they want to do. It sucks, but that’s the reality.
Too bad for your friend, but it’s her fault too. She should follower her instinct. It’s too late. 🙁
Use protection when having sex, especially when having sex with the person you don’t really know.
I’m worried about the future generations and what kind of society they will be in, in the future. As a mother, I feel like I’m constantly raising kids in fear. They live in a world where warnings are the only thing that can save them. I have to constantly remind my girls that they have to be safe in the streets, be mindful of touches that aren’t safe, and now this. It’s not because I want them to fear the world, but because it’s the only way I know that can save them from people who are not always conscious about what they’re doing. I don’t feel good trying to teach my pre-teens to not get raped or to not get STD as soon as they start getting boyfriends in the future. I want to protect them from a society like that but ignorance also has its consequences.
Deliberately spreading it is selfish and horrible. How can people do that on purpose? Why do they enjoy making other people suffer when they have nothing to do with what happened to them??
Blame those who can’t control their sexual urges even though they’re infected. I don’t know what type of stupidity runs in your blood, but it’s seriously not proper and it’s ust INHUMANE.
I really pray that someday illnesses like this will have a cure. Not because I want people to freely have sex or anything like that, but because nobody deserves to be sick with any incurable disease. I’m sure that these people who deliberately spread them were once good and reasonable beings. Everyone has good in their heart but the fact that they could not deal with it has made them act like this. It’s really sad that most people just got them because of the irresponsible actions of others, but I don’t want to blame anyone because I’m sure they’ve been through rough times.
It’s true that there’s good in everyone. It’s just that sometimes life doesn’t go to well for others and they can’t handle it well.
I wonder what goes on in their f**** sick minds when they do that.
I’ve seen news of rape cases wherein children who are raped acquire STD from the rapist. I can’t think of anything else more despicable than that. To those who did that, are you even human??? ?
Oh my god… That is very… I don’t know what words could describe it…
My boyfriend used to be a marine. He would constantly go out with his friends to drink during their free time and he told me that one of his mates paid for a prostitute just for fun. He thought he was keeping it safe by not sticking his privates in the wrong places, but he forgot that even dipping his fingers in the wrong places can also cause problems. I wanted to laugh my ass off with the story, but I just shrugged and told my boyfriend that he should just stay loyal instead of getting a swollen, full of puss fingers. I hope those men learned their lesson though. Sometimes keeping it safe isn’t safe either.