After being lied to by countless feckless boyfriends, I decided to get smarter. I was sick of learning about their dishonesty way after the fact. In a relationship, it’s unfortunately quite normal for our partners to lie here and there. That doesn’t mean you should just sit back and take it!
Though they may sound convincing, their bodies can give us clues as to whether they’re being truthful. Here’s how the subtle aspects of their body language reveal clues for us to get a clearer picture of what the truth is:
He Keeps on Moving
When people are lying, they usually touch their ears, chin, or some other parts of their bodies. They will fidget restlessly and might have their hands clasped behind their backs or make slight swaying movements, as if they are ready to bolt. These are unconscious gestures that are not caused by some outward precedent — more likely, these actions are a manifestation of an internal battle on how to get out of the “interrogation.”
He Looks Like He’s in a Sauna
If your partner was just caught lying then they he will likely start to break into sweat. Sometimes guilty liars turn red when confronted. Look for small beads of perspiration on their forehead or neck. Also, try to observe their emotional responses, either through facial expression or the eyes. Usually, a liar’s expression won’t match the expected emotion linked with the dishonest words coming out of his mouth.
Don’t Break Eye Contact
When you think that your partner is lying to you, then this is the perfect time to maintain eye contact while he’s talking. A guilty person will either awkwardly avert his eyes when you stare straight into them, or will be so conscious of trying to convince you that they won’t break eye contact at all. Either way, it’ll seem slightly unnatural. This is a clear indication that your partner is not telling you everything.
Catch the Defensive Stance
Liars can’t seem to stay in one place for a few seconds. They start puttering around, leafing through pages from magazines or books, without really paying attention to the content. This simply means that they are thinking very hard about what to do or say next in case their alibi doesn’t work.
Keep Your Voice Down
Liars usually start to become defensive when asked certain questions that they don’t plan to answer truthfully. Often, the volume goes up and the tone become sarcastic, or he tries to sound offended, as he tries to evade the questions you keep on pressing on him. There are also times when your partner will “act” angry just to show that you have just insulted him by calling him a liar. If this does happen, try to look at his nose and see if it flares up or not. If it flares up then they really are angry, and if it doesn’t, then it’s likely he is just putting on an act.
If you know your partner well, then all your need is to observe if there is something different about the way they talk, move or act. These body language clues will tell you if there is something off. That said, remember that that honesty and trust are the basic foundations of a healthy romantic relationship and so you and your partner must be clear on these expectations from the start. Listen to your gut. If you sense that your partner is acting weird and that something is amiss; don’t just dismiss it as nothing. Communicate with your concerns with your partner — and if in the process you find that things are not going they way you want in your relationship, then perhaps it’s best to split up. You owe it yourself to be happy, with or without him.
My friend is always defensive when asked by her boyfriend who she is speking with on her phone. I want to warn him about his guy, but I don’t want to be the one to cause their break-up or even a fight. But well, I guess she has to be more careful because she might lose both of them in just a snap.
I know my wife is seeing someone, but I’m afraid to confront her. I,m torn between saving our relationship and making her become more honest with me. I think I’m getting depressed. I don’t want to lose her, but it pains me so much. I’m really lost.
Don’t be silly or paranoid! You can’t just tell whether your partner is lying or not. We need proof of that, not just these signs or whatever. I think this doesn’t help that much. Unusual gestures and actions might come from other stressors or other untoward incidents.
What a lovely article! Thanks Sarah! I noticed my fiancee was avoiding having eye contact these past few weeks. I ignored it at first, but after reading this, I asked him what’s wrong. Then after a somewhat heated argument, he confessed that he is seeing his ex! I told him that I would let it pass this time, but made him promise not to do it again. I also told him to go tell her ex to stop seeing him, and how we are serious with our relationship. Hopes he’s more faithful next time. Looking forward for another blog like this! ?
Not to be too cautious or anything, but I think this article really helps. It’s like playing How To Catch A Liar.
Wow, this would have been very helpful to me last week. I just broke up with my boyfriend but he’s already a full-fledged LIAR.
Don’t let yourself be lied to by anyone. Respect yourself enough to not be dragged with their lies.?
Not all of this is accurate. I do some of this too and it’s not always true that I’m lying when I do that. ?
Girls, relax. Unless the dude has really cheated before, don’t going all paranoid. Nothing ruins a relationship quicker than a girl who keeps on insisting that her S/O is cheating even though he’s not. Make sure that you have back up facts when he becomes defensive. But don’t go assuming that he’s cheating randomly. Let’s chill about this topic ladies because it can become really sensitive. Not everything you see online is accurate. Maybe what you should ask yourself is, DO YOU THINK HE’S CHEATING? IS THIS WHY YOU’RE READING SOMETHING LIKE THIS?
I’ve met tons of guys who ace in lying and there isn’t really a good way to figure it out. I’ve learned that when you feel lied to, you probably are being lied to. Okay? Stop wasting your time over men like them.