After being lied to by countless feckless boyfriends, I decided to get smarter. I was sick of learning about their dishonesty way after the fact. In a relationship, it’s unfortunately quite normal for our partners to lie here and there. That doesn’t mean you should just sit back and take it!
Though they may sound convincing, their bodies can give us clues as to whether they’re being truthful. Here’s how the subtle aspects of their body language reveal clues for us to get a clearer picture of what the truth is:
He Keeps on Moving
When people are lying, they usually touch their ears, chin, or some other parts of their bodies. They will fidget restlessly and might have their hands clasped behind their backs or make slight swaying movements, as if they are ready to bolt. These are unconscious gestures that are not caused by some outward precedent — more likely, these actions are a manifestation of an internal battle on how to get out of the “interrogation.”
He Looks Like He’s in a Sauna
If your partner was just caught lying then they he will likely start to break into sweat. Sometimes guilty liars turn red when confronted. Look for small beads of perspiration on their forehead or neck. Also, try to observe their emotional responses, either through facial expression or the eyes. Usually, a liar’s expression won’t match the expected emotion linked with the dishonest words coming out of his mouth.
Don’t Break Eye Contact
When you think that your partner is lying to you, then this is the perfect time to maintain eye contact while he’s talking. A guilty person will either awkwardly avert his eyes when you stare straight into them, or will be so conscious of trying to convince you that they won’t break eye contact at all. Either way, it’ll seem slightly unnatural. This is a clear indication that your partner is not telling you everything.
Catch the Defensive Stance
Liars can’t seem to stay in one place for a few seconds. They start puttering around, leafing through pages from magazines or books, without really paying attention to the content. This simply means that they are thinking very hard about what to do or say next in case their alibi doesn’t work.
Keep Your Voice Down
Liars usually start to become defensive when asked certain questions that they don’t plan to answer truthfully. Often, the volume goes up and the tone become sarcastic, or he tries to sound offended, as he tries to evade the questions you keep on pressing on him. There are also times when your partner will “act” angry just to show that you have just insulted him by calling him a liar. If this does happen, try to look at his nose and see if it flares up or not. If it flares up then they really are angry, and if it doesn’t, then it’s likely he is just putting on an act.
If you know your partner well, then all your need is to observe if there is something different about the way they talk, move or act. These body language clues will tell you if there is something off. That said, remember that that honesty and trust are the basic foundations of a healthy romantic relationship and so you and your partner must be clear on these expectations from the start. Listen to your gut. If you sense that your partner is acting weird and that something is amiss; don’t just dismiss it as nothing. Communicate with your concerns with your partner — and if in the process you find that things are not going they way you want in your relationship, then perhaps it’s best to split up. You owe it yourself to be happy, with or without him.
Keeping your voice down seems to make it easier to figure out if you’re being lied to. Best thing to do is keep calm and keep it down. Observe as much you can for the mean time. I think observing makes you look at things more accurately without the chances of judging wrong. If you’re in the right mind you can easily see the difference between right and wrong. If you’re all fired up and irrational, you can’t see through the lies. Think clearly… You’ll see things clearly too.
Yeah, if you’re too caught up in the situation you feel like everything and everyone is against you. So it’s best to calm down.
It’s so easy to fake facial expressions. Especially when the liar is good at it, they’re conscious about the fidgeting too.?
Let’s not forget that the lying mentioned in this article is something serious. This isn’t about lying about stuff that are better left unsaid. If it’s about cheating, the other person needs to know. This isn’t about the white lies that we tell just so we don’t offend others. This is about infidelity! So please, stop commenting that lies can save relationships because in the first place, it’s the reason why relationships fail. We build walls of lies until we can no longer see the truth.
I agree with this, we forget the fact that this article is all about cheating not white lies. It’s not about the question of “Hey, do I look fat?” and your boyfriend says no even though you do.
Bad reference, but seriously, you’re right.
It’s so rare to find people who are genuinely honest. Everyone lies, our reasons differ — the weight differs. I’m not saying that lying is okay depending on the weight and the reason, but we all do it.
People who consistently lie have deeper issues. Probably mental.
Everyone lies but the intensity varies. I don’t always assume that lying is bad, it depends on the reason.?
What does it mean when guys just look into the distance when they talk to you? Like they’re so deep in thought? Personally I think it’s a way to avoid eye contact but this person lies so consistently that it makes me question my own judgment.
It’s up to you to figure it out… I’m sorry. I think if you feel like he’s lying then you’re probably right, but I don’t really know who he is or how he acts.
Just recently, my man hasn’t been taking out his phone when we’re together. It’s so easy to miss this because you’re probably happy with the thought that he’s not using his phone while he’s with you, but it’s also a sign that he might be hiding something and he doesn’t want you to accidentally see a text. But then I’m not saying that this is accurate but you should identify your own red flags like odd behavior or new behavior that he’s acquiring. I remember reading an article before that when your guy has been learning new tricks in bed and it’s new to you, you might want to think twice as well.
Women are walking lie detectors. If they ask you about it, tell the truth. Don’t go digging your own grave, man.
Whatever the reason people have for lying, I still don’t think it’s valid.☹️