After being lied to by countless feckless boyfriends, I decided to get smarter. I was sick of learning about their dishonesty way after the fact. In a relationship, it’s unfortunately quite normal for our partners to lie here and there. That doesn’t mean you should just sit back and take it!
Though they may sound convincing, their bodies can give us clues as to whether they’re being truthful. Here’s how the subtle aspects of their body language reveal clues for us to get a clearer picture of what the truth is:
He Keeps on Moving
When people are lying, they usually touch their ears, chin, or some other parts of their bodies. They will fidget restlessly and might have their hands clasped behind their backs or make slight swaying movements, as if they are ready to bolt. These are unconscious gestures that are not caused by some outward precedent — more likely, these actions are a manifestation of an internal battle on how to get out of the “interrogation.”
He Looks Like He’s in a Sauna
If your partner was just caught lying then they he will likely start to break into sweat. Sometimes guilty liars turn red when confronted. Look for small beads of perspiration on their forehead or neck. Also, try to observe their emotional responses, either through facial expression or the eyes. Usually, a liar’s expression won’t match the expected emotion linked with the dishonest words coming out of his mouth.
Don’t Break Eye Contact
When you think that your partner is lying to you, then this is the perfect time to maintain eye contact while he’s talking. A guilty person will either awkwardly avert his eyes when you stare straight into them, or will be so conscious of trying to convince you that they won’t break eye contact at all. Either way, it’ll seem slightly unnatural. This is a clear indication that your partner is not telling you everything.
Catch the Defensive Stance
Liars can’t seem to stay in one place for a few seconds. They start puttering around, leafing through pages from magazines or books, without really paying attention to the content. This simply means that they are thinking very hard about what to do or say next in case their alibi doesn’t work.
Keep Your Voice Down
Liars usually start to become defensive when asked certain questions that they don’t plan to answer truthfully. Often, the volume goes up and the tone become sarcastic, or he tries to sound offended, as he tries to evade the questions you keep on pressing on him. There are also times when your partner will “act” angry just to show that you have just insulted him by calling him a liar. If this does happen, try to look at his nose and see if it flares up or not. If it flares up then they really are angry, and if it doesn’t, then it’s likely he is just putting on an act.
If you know your partner well, then all your need is to observe if there is something different about the way they talk, move or act. These body language clues will tell you if there is something off. That said, remember that that honesty and trust are the basic foundations of a healthy romantic relationship and so you and your partner must be clear on these expectations from the start. Listen to your gut. If you sense that your partner is acting weird and that something is amiss; don’t just dismiss it as nothing. Communicate with your concerns with your partner — and if in the process you find that things are not going they way you want in your relationship, then perhaps it’s best to split up. You owe it yourself to be happy, with or without him.
I finally got the strength to let go of this person who has been lying to me constantly within the last few months of the relationship. It was honestly really hard. We all know how liars sometimes make it seem like you’re the one who gave up and he was the one who’s always trying. My only advice for people who are going through the same is that you need to listen to your gut instinct more than anything else. Care about your feelings more than anyone else right at that moment. Remember that when he chose to lie, he didn’t take your feelings into consideration. So why take his feelings into consideration when you’re letting go?
You’re absolutely right. The worst part that is he probably knew it was going to hurt you, yet he decided to do it anyway!
If you really love your partner, why are you lying? Of course your girl would be mad if she caught you lying. Whoever is caught lying whether it’s the man or the woman, if your partner gives a shit about the relationship, they’d get mad! What did you expect? He/She’ll throw you a party for being a lying ass?!
Lying in a relationship is very damaging. It’s like the last thing you should think of doing.
I’m stuck in this cycle of lying in the relationship I’m in. I know he’s lying but I don’t have proof. I stopped believing in almost anything he’s saying and I just can’t trust him anymore. I can’t break up with him because he starts saying that I’m the one who’s giving up, even though he’s the one who’s been destroying the relationship. He’d slip up with his lies once in a while but he still never admits it. He’d always make it seem like if a break up happens, it’s my fault so I never got around to ending it.
Lying is very tricky. We sometimes convince ourselves that it’s harmless and for the better. Normal people don’t go around twisting facts for their own benefit.?
Decent men like us lie because we don’t want to hurt our girl by small details that could lead to series of false accusations. Some things are better left unsaid IMO.. But if you’re lyin’ because you have a sidechick, then you’re not decent and you don’t deserve your girl.
That’s the point while people lie. The only difference is that some lies are okay and some lies aren’t.
Seriously though, women are 99.9% right sometimes. My girl often catches me lying! I’m not cheating on her but she just doesn’t like who I hang out with. But she knows. Guys, trust me she knows where you’ve been.
I always know when my boyfriend is lying. There’s just really something about his facial expression that’s making him look like a lying puppy. I never see that face when he’s talking about the truth. Sometimes it’s not about checking out how he fidgets or how he doesn’t make eye contact. There’s just one aspect of him that suddenly goes the opposite when he lies. I don’t call him out for it though. I just let him talk and I just let him wallow in his lies. Not that I wanted to let him lie and get away with it, sometimes, you just know that liars will always be liars.
The most painful thing about lying is that we know it, yet most of us can’t do much about it. We just accept the fact that the other person didn’t choose to tell the truth when we gave them a chance.?
If you get into a relationship, it’s already an unwritten rule that you’re not supposed to lie. If you don’t know that, then you’re an insensitive prick!! ?
I agree that it’s an unwritten rule. Lies are never good.