In the age of Trump, it seems as though we’ve slipped backwards in time. It’s once again assumed that if you’re a woman, you must be good at cooking, cleaning, and making men happy. Unfortunately for my hubby, I wasn’t blessed with the motivation to work on these domestic gifts. If it wasn’t for UberEats and the pre-made food section at Whole Foods, I’d probably have died well before I had the chance to get hitched. Luckily for me, my hubby is a feminist so he’s happy to cook, clean, make me smoothies, and still be my big strong, sexy (and breadwinning) man.
Society encourages young girls to turn on their Easy-Bake Ovens and dress up their American Girl dolls, all in preparation for a life of housekeeping and child-rearing. I may’ve gone down that path myself, if not for the time I burnt my hand trying to make a brownie.
Aside from Trump trying his best to drag us all back into the dark ages, as time passed, thoughts have slowly progressed about the roles of women in society. Bursting out of their kitchens, women broke into the business world and turned perspectives upside down. Breaking barriers that once seemed impossible for women to do, you’d think that most men would now have no choice but to see women as equals in the workplace, and soon, the home. But do they?
As women began to be taken more seriously, the myths and stereotypes about women have been consistently called into question. Gone, it seemed, were the archaic ideas that all women want is to get married and have children, as more and more women these days are satisfied with putting their careers first.
I don’t feel any shame about being bad at “women’s work,” and I’m not convinced there’s any reason I should be.
Buttttt, based on the fact that so many white women voted for Trump because their husbands wanted them to, it seems we still have a long way to go. So this seems like an opportune time to clarify a few things, in case Trump or any of his followers are reading this:
Myth: All women are good cooks.
Truth: This one is definitely not true — just ask my husband! In our home, my hubby does the cooking, but across America the task still typically falls to women. A survey by the Bureau of Labor Statistics reported that on an average day, 83% of women do some sort of housework, compared to 65% of men. With respect to food preparation and clean-up specifically, only 40% of men, compared to 66% of women, take responsibility for it. So, it’s not so much that women are good cooks as it is they tend to get saddled with that task more, because of our still-sexist society.
Myth: All women are good at cleaning.
Truth: We all know the gender roles when it comes to cleanliness for boys and girls: boys are expected to be filthy while girls are expected to be prim. As for adults — how many times have you seen a man pushing a vacuum around a room or cleaning up after kids in a TV commercial? Exactly.
Wondering why a vacuum cleaner is still in the portrait of a standard housewife? One women’s magazine article said cleaning is a form of meditation. Another article said that women just have higher standards of cleanliness. They both go on to say that if a house is a mess, the woman living there is the one who’ll be judged, not the man. Yikes!
Myth: All women are all feminists.
Truth: I wish (!!), but clearly not — as IMHO a feminist wouldn’t vote for Trump. Not because Trump is a man who ran against a woman, but because Trump is a sexist pig who thinks it’s perfectly acceptable to sexually abuse and objectify women.
The definition of feminism comes down to the fact that women are equal to men and deserve every opportunity to prove it, not that feminists think men are scum (they don’t! that’s missing the point!). Feminists aren’t a different breed of person, they just demand the acknowledgement that anything a man can do, a woman can do.
I want a man to hold a door open for me, but I also want women to get promotions for their hard work, and not be judged based on how we look in a skirt. Empowering organizations such as Lean In aren’t trying to make women kick all men to the curb, but instead give them the tools to realize they can and should stand on their own two feet without feeling inferior to men in and outside of the workplace.
Myth: Women don’t enjoy sex as much as guys.
Truth: Just because I’m not running around trying to sleep with everyone that looks good doesn’t mean I don’t enjoy sex. Women are just a bit more reserved about it, or at least they tend to be. Maybe if we weren’t pressured to be a “sexy virgin” by society, we’d act more like men do. Plus, we don’t have sex just to make the other person feel good (unless we’re deep down the rabbit hole of self-objectification); it’s about us, too, and don’t you forget it.
Myth: All women love to shop.
Truth: Personally, I hate shopping. The minute I’m inside a mall or clothing store, I want to get out. That’s why I do all my shopping online.
But the sad truth is that women are pressured by society to shop because they’re held to higher standards than men regarding appearance. The fashion industry aims their advertising mostly at women, in an effort to create insecurities. And –amazingly– in Trump’s America it’s still hard to be taken seriously when you’re a young woman getting started in the business world …especially if you aren’t well dressed. When it comes to appearance, women are expected to be on top of their game at all times, while men are allowed to simply slide by. #SoNotFair
The Bottom Line
I don’t feel any shame about being bad at “women’s work,” and I’m not convinced there’s any reason I should be. Women have a lot more opportunities these days, but that’s not to say you’re any less of a modern woman if you fit this “traditional” mold. Feminism is about choice.
The fact of the matter is, women have other things to do in life besides cooking, cleaning, and giving birth. As times have changed, so has what’s expected of women. These days, women are able to juggle all of that and more while still being happy. Some are stuck in the past, but progressive women all over the world are changing how women are perceived and refuse to be held to old-timey standards.
No, women should NOT do all the housework because it isn’t fair. The old-fashioned idea of women should do all the house chores shouldn’t continue to exist anymore because the world is becoming more modernized and so shall our minds be. Men should help women do housework since men are also part of the family.
Thank you for thsi comment, I agree with this!!!
There is no particular thing as women have to cook. We have the habit of following things from our ancestors. In the olden days, our ancestors used to follow a custom that women nurture the baby she carries in her womb so she used to be at shelter and men used to go in search of food. During wars, men used to go for fighting leaving women to nurture babies. This custom was adopted by us. Men used to go for job earn money, bring food and women should cook food and nurture young ones. The aspect of cooking by women came from the thing that women gave birth to young ones and she should give nurture to them.
Either the woman or the man can stay at home or work. It’s not fair to say that the woman has to cook and clean, and it’s not fair to say the man has to work and bring home all the money. Marriage is a partnership. A lot of people seem to have very traditional views, which isn’t always a bad thing, but traditional views tend to be unfair to groups of people.
I don’t believe women should do ALL the housework, but they can do some. It would be lazy to leave the housework to just the women of the house. Even if the man is bringing home “the bacon,” he still can participate in housework. He does live in the same house as her, so participate in the clean up! Of course, women can do all the housework if she is ok with it, but only IF!
For millennia, since the dawn of civilization, we have seen women staying at home, cooking, looking after the household, and men hunting, warring, and, in present times, going to work. This trend is changing now and for good reason. We have more men who prefer to stay at home and look after the household, and more women who succeed in the outside world. The main reason is that women now are offered more choices in life (though not as much as men), and they receive almost the same education as men do, which was not the case in earlier times when women were not even allowed to come out of the house. So, women don’t have to cook. Men can cook too, and some do cook.
Men should get up, stop being lazy and do more work around the house. It is not just the woman’s job. Women have a life as well. They cannot be stuck at home doing house work. Men should help their wives by doing some work as well and don’t just leave it to the women.
Point here is that NOT all the work should be done by a woman. It’s a shared responsibility.
An equal world, equal pay, equal opportunity, equal equal equal!! When both men and women work outside the home, chores should be shared Evenly And fairly. What is the point got fighting for equality? Men need to understand this is not the 1809s where women just stay home. It’s different now!
I have nothing wrong with working women, I’m just saying that it’s a trade off. If a guy is out busting his butt making money, it’s up to the wife to keep the house clean. If the woman is out making the money, the man should clean. And if both are making money, share the responsibility. Relationships are all about compromise.
You probably see gender stereotypes all around you. You might also have seen or experienced sexism, or discrimination based on gender. There are ways to challenge these stereotypes to help everyone, no matter their gender or gender identity, feel equal and valued as people. If you’ve been struggling with gender or gender identity and expectations, you’re not alone. This is how the world is now, as much as we want to change the way things are, it’s a custom that’s been around for years, and years, and years.
Women of today are nothing like the women of 1950s who were taught to run houses and perform chores. Events in history have revolutionized the paradigms and women, now, do not really believe in serving their men. They are now running the race with men to be ’independent’. There are some things that are done best when a woman does it for her man with grace and obligation.