In the age of Trump, it seems as though we’ve slipped backwards in time. It’s once again assumed that if you’re a woman, you must be good at cooking, cleaning, and making men happy. Unfortunately for my hubby, I wasn’t blessed with the motivation to work on these domestic gifts. If it wasn’t for UberEats and the pre-made food section at Whole Foods, I’d probably have died well before I had the chance to get hitched. Luckily for me, my hubby is a feminist so he’s happy to cook, clean, make me smoothies, and still be my big strong, sexy (and breadwinning) man.
Society encourages young girls to turn on their Easy-Bake Ovens and dress up their American Girl dolls, all in preparation for a life of housekeeping and child-rearing. I may’ve gone down that path myself, if not for the time I burnt my hand trying to make a brownie.
Aside from Trump trying his best to drag us all back into the dark ages, as time passed, thoughts have slowly progressed about the roles of women in society. Bursting out of their kitchens, women broke into the business world and turned perspectives upside down. Breaking barriers that once seemed impossible for women to do, you’d think that most men would now have no choice but to see women as equals in the workplace, and soon, the home. But do they?
As women began to be taken more seriously, the myths and stereotypes about women have been consistently called into question. Gone, it seemed, were the archaic ideas that all women want is to get married and have children, as more and more women these days are satisfied with putting their careers first.
I don’t feel any shame about being bad at “women’s work,” and I’m not convinced there’s any reason I should be.
Buttttt, based on the fact that so many white women voted for Trump because their husbands wanted them to, it seems we still have a long way to go. So this seems like an opportune time to clarify a few things, in case Trump or any of his followers are reading this:
Myth: All women are good cooks.
Truth: This one is definitely not true — just ask my husband! In our home, my hubby does the cooking, but across America the task still typically falls to women. A survey by the Bureau of Labor Statistics reported that on an average day, 83% of women do some sort of housework, compared to 65% of men. With respect to food preparation and clean-up specifically, only 40% of men, compared to 66% of women, take responsibility for it. So, it’s not so much that women are good cooks as it is they tend to get saddled with that task more, because of our still-sexist society.
Myth: All women are good at cleaning.
Truth: We all know the gender roles when it comes to cleanliness for boys and girls: boys are expected to be filthy while girls are expected to be prim. As for adults — how many times have you seen a man pushing a vacuum around a room or cleaning up after kids in a TV commercial? Exactly.
Wondering why a vacuum cleaner is still in the portrait of a standard housewife? One women’s magazine article said cleaning is a form of meditation. Another article said that women just have higher standards of cleanliness. They both go on to say that if a house is a mess, the woman living there is the one who’ll be judged, not the man. Yikes!
Myth: All women are all feminists.
Truth: I wish (!!), but clearly not — as IMHO a feminist wouldn’t vote for Trump. Not because Trump is a man who ran against a woman, but because Trump is a sexist pig who thinks it’s perfectly acceptable to sexually abuse and objectify women.
The definition of feminism comes down to the fact that women are equal to men and deserve every opportunity to prove it, not that feminists think men are scum (they don’t! that’s missing the point!). Feminists aren’t a different breed of person, they just demand the acknowledgement that anything a man can do, a woman can do.
I want a man to hold a door open for me, but I also want women to get promotions for their hard work, and not be judged based on how we look in a skirt. Empowering organizations such as Lean In aren’t trying to make women kick all men to the curb, but instead give them the tools to realize they can and should stand on their own two feet without feeling inferior to men in and outside of the workplace.
Myth: Women don’t enjoy sex as much as guys.
Truth: Just because I’m not running around trying to sleep with everyone that looks good doesn’t mean I don’t enjoy sex. Women are just a bit more reserved about it, or at least they tend to be. Maybe if we weren’t pressured to be a “sexy virgin” by society, we’d act more like men do. Plus, we don’t have sex just to make the other person feel good (unless we’re deep down the rabbit hole of self-objectification); it’s about us, too, and don’t you forget it.
Myth: All women love to shop.
Truth: Personally, I hate shopping. The minute I’m inside a mall or clothing store, I want to get out. That’s why I do all my shopping online.
But the sad truth is that women are pressured by society to shop because they’re held to higher standards than men regarding appearance. The fashion industry aims their advertising mostly at women, in an effort to create insecurities. And –amazingly– in Trump’s America it’s still hard to be taken seriously when you’re a young woman getting started in the business world …especially if you aren’t well dressed. When it comes to appearance, women are expected to be on top of their game at all times, while men are allowed to simply slide by. #SoNotFair
The Bottom Line
I don’t feel any shame about being bad at “women’s work,” and I’m not convinced there’s any reason I should be. Women have a lot more opportunities these days, but that’s not to say you’re any less of a modern woman if you fit this “traditional” mold. Feminism is about choice.
The fact of the matter is, women have other things to do in life besides cooking, cleaning, and giving birth. As times have changed, so has what’s expected of women. These days, women are able to juggle all of that and more while still being happy. Some are stuck in the past, but progressive women all over the world are changing how women are perceived and refuse to be held to old-timey standards.
My day is so busy every day that I don’t have time to cook and so I always in a restaurant or fast food. It keeps me a live though, hehe! But I am not proud of it, I mean I know I should know how to cook not for other people but for myself.
It is such a good feeling to see more women conquering different fields where “traditionally” men dominates. Women have transformed in that level where we cannot be tol what can only and cannot do.
I consider myself as a modern woman since I have the best and clear goal when it comes to my career. But aside from that, I also the kind of woman who knows how to take care of a man and myself by preparing and cooking decent food and keeping a house clean. I guess I am a combination of both.
I do not cook but I know how to clean my house. Even if I lack in some aspect of life, I do not see it as my weakness but just a part of me. I may not be one thing but I can always be “something”. And same gos with women who choose to stay at home for their family, even without a career, we cannot think that we are a cut above the rest. We have our own strengths and we can be an equally powerful woman in our own ways.
I am happpy that women are not defined on how they cook a dish so well, or how white can she make kitchen floor anymore. It is a good thing that our role as women has progressed and we are not forced to be someone we think we are not.
Honestly, I tried cooking several times in the past but all failed. And I already discouraged to continue because I just felt that cooking is not my thing. Fortunately, my partner is very understanding and I am just so lucky that he knows how to cook, not like a chef but an actual food (something edible haha). Though, I didn’t excel in cooking, I tried my best to always make the house clean regardless of my cusy schedule at work.
I do not know how to cook and when my boyfriend took me to a family get together, I feel a little ashame because they were all talking about the dishes they made. No one made a bad comment about me not knowing how to cook, but it was me who felt uncomfortable. ??✖️✖️
This is one of the good examples on why being a traditional woman is still a good thing up until this point. Even if we say that we won’t care how people would think, if the people are related to you or to the one you love, you will still be affected. What is the harm in learning just the basic,right?
As a woman, it is my choice to learn the basic of cooking and doing the household chores. I have seen how my mom took care of all of us and my dad was so happy with her and I saw how they loved each other. Being categorized as a “traditional” woman is good, plus I also get compliments every now and then for being the way I am.
It all depends, if a woman chooses to be a good house person then I do not see anything wrong with that.
I was raised in a traditional family where my mother trained me to be responsible inside the house. But that didn’t stop here, they also let me have a good education and chose my career. Being trained to be a good wife in the future is not bad at all. It is a plus actually, but if you are not good at these things, I guess it will not make you less of a person too.