When I caught my last boyfriend cheating on me (with a Hooters waitress, no less!), I was crushed. How could he do this? Doesn’t he value my feelings more than a tawdry fling with some tramp? Clearly not. What a dolt. Anyhow, I soon learned that there’s no sense trying to make sense of crazy. Let crazy be crazy and stay far, far away.
I didn’t come to that conclusion quickly though. After that breakup, I stayed indoors for way too long wondering about my own worth in the eyes of men. What a waste of time. Now, I know that enduring a breakup or divorce can obviously be an incredibly emotional and exasperating time. Whether you’ve parted with a partner of several years or several months, it’s likely you’ve been feeling blue and rather uninspired.
Though it can hard to accept that one chapter of your life has come to a close, remember that new and exciting times await you. Take control of your story and reinvent yourself post-breakup by revisiting an old hobby, signing up for a language class, or exploring an extreme sport. Whatever your interests, get out there and celebrate them.
To help embrace your newfound freedom, he’s a list of activities that helped me get back out there and seize the day:
Embrace Your Inner Wanderlust
Now that you have the opportunity to create your own itinerary, it’s time you embrace your inner wanderlust. Whether you plan to travel solo, or you’ve corralled the ladies for an adventurous road trip. Whip out that travel bucket list you’ve been neglecting and get ready to start crossing off some destinations. Another way to see the sites while also saving money is to embark on a solo cruise. The coordinated stops of cruise lines offer a wide variety of ambiances and experiences — from exploration to romance, rest and relaxation. Ask yourself what you’re hoping to achieve by traveling, be it enrichment, education or just simply adventure.
Foster Your Friendships
Beat the loneliness and fill that hole you feel by spending time with your best friends. There are plenty of scientific studies showing that being around close friends not only makes people happy, but is the key to living a long and healthy life. And who better than your bestie to tell you that he wasn’t worth your time in the first place? Deep down you always knew you were too good for him — why not surround yourself with others who agree with you?
Nature’s Healing Powers
There’s no time like the present to take up an outdoor hobby. Take advantage of the natural healing properties of gardening, which can lower depression and improve mood and balance. If you’re looking for something with a bit more punch, learn about your local water sports. Paddle boarding, kayaking, and jet skiing are all exciting ways to embrace the outdoors. If you’d rather stick to land, map out some of your city’s popular hiking trails. Not only does this activity offer fresh air and scenic views, it also inspires heart-pumping exercise and increases your body’s production of endorphins, the feel good chemical. You could also try checking out some exercise-related meetups or local events.
Become a Foster Mom
If you’re feeling lonely and in need of a loving companion, get involved with your local animal shelter and become a foster mom. All over the country, thousands of dogs and cats are desperate for homes and affection. Give back to your community and make a difference by taking in a temporary pet. You’ll appreciate the distraction from your worries and you’ll feel good knowing you’re helping an otherwise homeless, lonely pet. Who knows, your temporary arrangement could prove to be a lasting friendship!
Find Your Center
Sometimes what you really need after a breakup is some quiet time to heal and regroup. Perhaps now is your chance to explore an alternative career trajectory, or consider relocating to a new part of town or even a new state. Use this time to pinpoint all the things you want out of life, and then create a game plan.
Another way to get centered is to take up yoga and master the art of meditation. Not only can meditation help to you to get happy again, but both yoga and meditation help to manage stress and weight gain. Sounds like a win-win to me!
We owe it to ourselves to heal. But healing doesn’t happen on its own. Sometimes we have to do things to help it happen. We should take the initiative to see the brighter side of things. I’m sure that somewhere, there’s a right person for you and that man who left you isn’t that person. I’ve been single for quite a while because the last breakup I had wasn’t a good one. Up until now, even after 2 and a half years, I know for myself that I’m still healing. But in that process of healing, I know that I’m helping myself get through it.
That’s what we really have to do. We have to work on our happiness.
The worst part about breakups is that some men give the craziest reasons. Let’s say… Video games. Yes, video games. This guy I used to date was so fond of them and since almost every guy I know is into that, I was never really the one to tell him to stop. It’s a hobby and I respected that. Just after a few months of dating him, he suddenly just said that he wanted to break up. I asked him why and apparently, he’s been setting up a video game channel for a month now and he said that our relationship has become quite a burden for him to keep pursuing. So, yeah, we broke up.
Oh my god, seriously?! I can’t figure out whether to laugh or cry if that was me.
Being a foster mom sounds like a good idea. I really want a pet but my boyfriend was allergic to cats and dogs. (If that’s even real) But now I’m getting a dog and he can suck it up.
After breakups, you never know where to start. Everything sort of feels like it’s going backward and slower. At least for me, that’s what it feels like. I’m just glad that the worst is over and that I just read an article that told me what to do next after quite some time moping. Nothing sounds really fun right now and I don’t even know what I really want to do. I guess that’s how “breakups” really feel like, huh. I can’t believe I’ve been with someone that long only to find out at the last run that he was such an ass to begin with.
It’s always like that. Men can be so lame most of the time.
Ladies, don’t let the guy know you’re sad after a breakup! ?
I’ve experienced breakups in the past and I know that they’re not easy. But with the right motivation, you can get through almost any problem that arises. Remember to always be optimistic about how you see things. Never say stuff like, “I can’t do this.” Let’s just say that a lot of things can be overcome by using the technique of mind over matter. In time, you’ll start to feel better without even knowing it. Everyone’s way of coping can be different, so whatever you choose, if you think it works well for you, then do it.
I’m dropping the cookbook now because I think I’ve cooked so much meals. Thanks to a heartbreak I now know 20 more dishes.?
Road trips with friends actually sound fun. I’m blessed because I have friends that would support me emotionally. After reading this article, I told them that maybe a trip would be great and they immediately said yes. We’re already planning on where to go and all that. Just the thought of it already makes me feel better. It’s nice to surround yourself with people who will help you feel more positive instead of the other way around. A shoulder to lean on is one of the best remedies for a breakup.
Bless those friends of yours who are always there when you need them.
I just broke up with an assh*le and I don’t think I even need the tips here. I thought I would, but then I don’t and that’s just perfect. ?? I’m a strong woman. ??
I’m surprised that this isn’t one of those articles that offer breakup advice. But I think those who are going through something like that need that more than these activities.