Dating doesn’t have to be a guessing game. Here are 12 dating Do’s and Dont’s to make sure you get your man – and keep him:
1. Make a top 10 non-negotiable list of the things you want in your man.
Put them in priority sequence using four categories: spiritual, physical, emotional and mental. You may only have two physical quirks like hair and height on the list, but not more. Chemistry is the only thing that is a given so it does not need to be added to the list. Keep this list in your wallet at all time. If a man does not have all 10 things on your list do not step off the curb to date him no matter how handsome or rich he is.
2. Make a plan of action. What are you doing every week to meet your mate?
You should have at least one event, party or place, to go to meet quality eligible men each week. Location, location, location! Research where men of your type hang out, and go there alone.
3. Always date a pair and a spare. You must always date three men at a time.
The first man is the front-runner on your list, the second one you are not sure about and the third one is the one who most likely will become a friend that you feel comfortable with. This enables you to fill up your time by being so busy that it takes your mind off the one you really want.
4. Marketing 101…package yourself in a sexy way.
Looks do matter! After all, would you date a man who you felt was physically unappealing? Well magnify that ten fold and now you are in the mind of the male prey. They want the cheerleader they got or did not get in high school. Do you have to be a model to magnify them to you? Hell no. But you must be in shape, and less is more when it comes to make up.
5. Smile the five second flirt.
When you see a man you like, smile for five seconds and hold the gaze, then look away. If he comes over to you he is into you. If he doesn’t, he is either not attracted to you, insecure, or involved with another woman, in which case he was never meant to be yours to begin with. Practice on men you have no interest in to get your confidence up and do this once a day. If you do this at least seven times in one week – to men you really want – I promise you, you will have more men chasing you than Cleopatra.
6. Go out alone. Those who travel in packs do not attract.
Do you ever wonder why guys don’t come over to you when you are with the girls? It is quite simple, if they do and your friends don’t like him or are jealous of you getting the attention, he has no chance of scoring a date with you. It is when you are alone, sweet, sexy and available that a man has confidence in approaching you. Go out alone to your favorite male friendly restaurant/ bar at about 4:45 p.m. – Monday through Friday. Sit at the bar, order a drink and appetizer, bring a topical book, and I promise more men will approach you than ever before.
7. Let the man lead and all will be revealed.
Let the man initiate the conversation, call you and set up the date. If you call a man for anything you are setting the precedent, and will end up doing most of the work throughout your courtship and thereafter.
8. Do not sleep with a man unless you are in an exclusive relationship where he has discussed exclusivity/monogamy with you in the sober light of day.
Do not assume he is unless he soberly has verbalized it to you. If you do not stick to this, then any man can assume you do this with all the men you date and that you do not love yourself enough….than why should he?
9. Be reliable… do not flake. Following through is the key to success.
When a man calls you, call him back within 48 hours of his call. He is most likely calling you to ask you out. If you hesitate he will go onto the next girl. Men have more than one woman that they are dating so be the girl that he connects with first and most likely you will get Saturday night out of him…the number one position in his playbook.
10. Qualify the buyer.
For every four questions a man asks you, ask him one, but ask questions in a light breezy way that would show you what type of character he is. For example: where do you see yourself in five years? The family man will say married, with kids and very happy. If he asks buyer questions of you, like: do you want to get married? Answer truthfully. You may ask him less informal ones in order to see where he stands on commitment issues. A good question is: at what age do you see yourself married? Or how long do you think you should date a person before you get engaged? A man generally does not lie when asked casually as he just met you and is not so invested in the relationship yet.
11. Do not date a man more than a year.
If by nine months no talk of marriage has come up freely by this man you can safely assume he’s not the marrying kind. But do not fear just yet, let him know calmly about your time-table and don’t bring it up again. On the anniversary of the first year let him know the year has been fun but you don’t see eye to eye on the future with him. Then wish him well and leave. If he is your guy you can bet he won’t be gone for long and a ring is not too far behind…good men know good women are hard to come by.
12. Do not live with a man prior to marriage.
It kills the romance and if the man lives rent free than, as they say, why should he buy the house? You may accept a ring and move in only if the wedding date is set, both families have met and wedding plans are in full swing.
It saddens me that looking for someone to marry has turned into some kind of mating game for a lot of people. Call me old fashioned but I still prefer meeting someone by fate.
I really hate #4. This could make a lot of people feel insecure about themselves… I just remember this post you guys made about NY’s match maker and it shattered a lot of women’s views about themselves. A lot of people do take care of themselves and still, we can’t always be the most beautiful for everyone.
Now that you’ve mentioned it, you have a point.
It’s basically saying that you can’t keep complaining about being single if you’re not doing anything to mingle. If you really want a mate, then find it in the right places. You can’t really expect men to just come flocking your way until you make it clear that you’re available.
You don’t need all these tips if you think some of it is ineffective for you. Everyone’s dating prowess will be different and you may or may not agree with most of this because that’s how I felt too. Personally, I don’t think I need 10 on my list just to figure out if I like the guy or not. I would never want my guy to look too attractive because I’m not the prettiest either. It would be unfair and unreasonable for me to even try to look for someone who is nearly celebrity status with their looks when I won’t even pass as a model. I’m just trying to be realistic here.
You’re stressing me out with all the tips. It’s like you want me to move my ass and date. If I slack, you’ll slap you until I get my shit done. ?
This made me laugh so much. Seriously though, she’s telling us to be proactive in finding the love of our life.
“Date with a spare”. Guys do this already ? But it’s a good advice, since you don’t want to end up being clingy even at the beginning.
I don’t think No.10 is effective. During those times that he’s still not invested a relationship, he talks like he’s in a cloud. There’s a high possibility that he can talk about his dreams and aspirations that are actually unreal. He may talk about “I wanna get married after 5 years once I have a stable job… Blah blah.” But realistically speaking, 5 years isn’t enough to land you a stable job or have a house or whatever. Back in my mid 20’s, men were throwing out the idea of a marriage like it was something they can just easily get in and out of. It would be hard for you to figure out if he’s even serious because you don’t know him that much either.
For the working ladies, how do you even manage to go to a bar everyday just to find a man? I don’t know if it’s possible for me. I don’t even look alive anymore after working hours. What do you girls do to always look fresh?
I don’t want to spend weekly looking for a mate. I believe I’m young enough to enjoy life without thinking too much about marrying someone.
That’s honestly very exhausting and stressful.
This is like a guide for gold diggers.?