After being lied to by countless feckless boyfriends, I decided to get smarter. I was sick of learning about their dishonesty way after the fact. In a relationship, it’s unfortunately quite normal for our partners to lie here and there. That doesn’t mean you should just sit back and take it!
Though they may sound convincing, their bodies can give us clues as to whether they’re being truthful. Here’s how the subtle aspects of their body language reveal clues for us to get a clearer picture of what the truth is:
He Keeps on Moving
When people are lying, they usually touch their ears, chin, or some other parts of their bodies. They will fidget restlessly and might have their hands clasped behind their backs or make slight swaying movements, as if they are ready to bolt. These are unconscious gestures that are not caused by some outward precedent — more likely, these actions are a manifestation of an internal battle on how to get out of the “interrogation.”
He Looks Like He’s in a Sauna
If your partner was just caught lying then they he will likely start to break into sweat. Sometimes guilty liars turn red when confronted. Look for small beads of perspiration on their forehead or neck. Also, try to observe their emotional responses, either through facial expression or the eyes. Usually, a liar’s expression won’t match the expected emotion linked with the dishonest words coming out of his mouth.
Don’t Break Eye Contact
When you think that your partner is lying to you, then this is the perfect time to maintain eye contact while he’s talking. A guilty person will either awkwardly avert his eyes when you stare straight into them, or will be so conscious of trying to convince you that they won’t break eye contact at all. Either way, it’ll seem slightly unnatural. This is a clear indication that your partner is not telling you everything.
Catch the Defensive Stance
Liars can’t seem to stay in one place for a few seconds. They start puttering around, leafing through pages from magazines or books, without really paying attention to the content. This simply means that they are thinking very hard about what to do or say next in case their alibi doesn’t work.
Keep Your Voice Down
Liars usually start to become defensive when asked certain questions that they don’t plan to answer truthfully. Often, the volume goes up and the tone become sarcastic, or he tries to sound offended, as he tries to evade the questions you keep on pressing on him. There are also times when your partner will “act” angry just to show that you have just insulted him by calling him a liar. If this does happen, try to look at his nose and see if it flares up or not. If it flares up then they really are angry, and if it doesn’t, then it’s likely he is just putting on an act.
If you know your partner well, then all your need is to observe if there is something different about the way they talk, move or act. These body language clues will tell you if there is something off. That said, remember that that honesty and trust are the basic foundations of a healthy romantic relationship and so you and your partner must be clear on these expectations from the start. Listen to your gut. If you sense that your partner is acting weird and that something is amiss; don’t just dismiss it as nothing. Communicate with your concerns with your partner — and if in the process you find that things are not going they way you want in your relationship, then perhaps it’s best to split up. You owe it yourself to be happy, with or without him.
In this relationship I’m currently in, I always feel lied to and cheated. Never really caught my man doing it and asking him about it is just like digging my own grave. I absolutely have no idea why I always feel like that around him. It’s like everything that comes out of his mouth is a lie and his actions don’t validate his words. I’m honestly so confused about him and the fact that I never really saw proof of his lies and cheating drives me nuts. Has any of you felt this way before? He did have past issues of cheating, but just like any man would say, “I would never cheat on you like what I did with them. You’re different.”
I usually walk around when I’m trying to express my feelings. This isn’t an accurate way to try and figure out if someone’s lying.
Yeah, I do that too along with hand gestures.
The next time you lie, try to be conscious of what you’re doing. So you know how bad of a liar you are.?
Sweating is a little harder to check, so it’s body language and eye contact that really needs to be checked.
If women think they’re being lied to, chances are, they really are being lied to. It’s an instinct that most women have and are most of the time extremely and painfully accurate. I remember hanging out with my boyfriend’s friends *now ex* and I just couldn’t get my eyes off this one girl. For some reason, she was checking me out from head to toe and she obviously doesn’t look happy about me being there. After quite a while, I was tipped that this girl was trying to flirt with my man. Of course, he denied the fact that he made advances with her, but the fact that she constantly hangs around with him and she’s determined to take whatever she pleases isn’t a favorable place for me. Bottomline, women just have instincts that could get painfully real at times. No need for words, we just know it.
I know that we all lie and we have reasons for it, but sometimes we should also consider that even if the truth hurts, sometimes it’s better to just stick to it.?
Ladies, if you constantly find yourself browsing through articles about how to figure out if your partner is lying to you, you might want to start re-thinking your relationship. White lies are fine once in a while, especially if it’s for the greater good (because God knows we can’t always say the truth to everyone we know because that can be chaotic). But there’s a huge difference between a lie like that and a lie that’s meant to conceal actions that shouldn’t be done in the first place because it could greatly damage a relationship (i.e. cheating). Value yourself and love yourself enough to not be constantly lied to on purpose by your partner. Not only that it’s disrespectful, it’s not a good foundation for a good relationship.
I agree with you. If the lying is too constant, there’s something really wrong in the relationship already.
If your man is lying about what he’s doing because he’s cheating, why do you even have to go through all these steps just to figure it out? Walk out of the relationship!
When your partner chooses not to say something because it will hurt you, is that lying? Or just not telling everything?
I know when I’m being lied to. Sometimes I just let them lie just to give them a chance to actually tell the truth.