In the age of Trump, it seems as though we’ve slipped backwards in time. It’s once again assumed that if you’re a woman, you must be good at cooking, cleaning, and making men happy. Unfortunately for my hubby, I wasn’t blessed with the motivation to work on these domestic gifts. If it wasn’t for UberEats and the pre-made food section at Whole Foods, I’d probably have died well before I had the chance to get hitched. Luckily for me, my hubby is a feminist so he’s happy to cook, clean, make me smoothies, and still be my big strong, sexy (and breadwinning) man.
Society encourages young girls to turn on their Easy-Bake Ovens and dress up their American Girl dolls, all in preparation for a life of housekeeping and child-rearing. I may’ve gone down that path myself, if not for the time I burnt my hand trying to make a brownie.
Aside from Trump trying his best to drag us all back into the dark ages, as time passed, thoughts have slowly progressed about the roles of women in society. Bursting out of their kitchens, women broke into the business world and turned perspectives upside down. Breaking barriers that once seemed impossible for women to do, you’d think that most men would now have no choice but to see women as equals in the workplace, and soon, the home. But do they?
As women began to be taken more seriously, the myths and stereotypes about women have been consistently called into question. Gone, it seemed, were the archaic ideas that all women want is to get married and have children, as more and more women these days are satisfied with putting their careers first.
I don’t feel any shame about being bad at “women’s work,” and I’m not convinced there’s any reason I should be.
Buttttt, based on the fact that so many white women voted for Trump because their husbands wanted them to, it seems we still have a long way to go. So this seems like an opportune time to clarify a few things, in case Trump or any of his followers are reading this:
Myth: All women are good cooks.
Truth: This one is definitely not true — just ask my husband! In our home, my hubby does the cooking, but across America the task still typically falls to women. A survey by the Bureau of Labor Statistics reported that on an average day, 83% of women do some sort of housework, compared to 65% of men. With respect to food preparation and clean-up specifically, only 40% of men, compared to 66% of women, take responsibility for it. So, it’s not so much that women are good cooks as it is they tend to get saddled with that task more, because of our still-sexist society.
Myth: All women are good at cleaning.
Truth: We all know the gender roles when it comes to cleanliness for boys and girls: boys are expected to be filthy while girls are expected to be prim. As for adults — how many times have you seen a man pushing a vacuum around a room or cleaning up after kids in a TV commercial? Exactly.
Wondering why a vacuum cleaner is still in the portrait of a standard housewife? One women’s magazine article said cleaning is a form of meditation. Another article said that women just have higher standards of cleanliness. They both go on to say that if a house is a mess, the woman living there is the one who’ll be judged, not the man. Yikes!
Myth: All women are all feminists.
Truth: I wish (!!), but clearly not — as IMHO a feminist wouldn’t vote for Trump. Not because Trump is a man who ran against a woman, but because Trump is a sexist pig who thinks it’s perfectly acceptable to sexually abuse and objectify women.
The definition of feminism comes down to the fact that women are equal to men and deserve every opportunity to prove it, not that feminists think men are scum (they don’t! that’s missing the point!). Feminists aren’t a different breed of person, they just demand the acknowledgement that anything a man can do, a woman can do.
I want a man to hold a door open for me, but I also want women to get promotions for their hard work, and not be judged based on how we look in a skirt. Empowering organizations such as Lean In aren’t trying to make women kick all men to the curb, but instead give them the tools to realize they can and should stand on their own two feet without feeling inferior to men in and outside of the workplace.
Myth: Women don’t enjoy sex as much as guys.
Truth: Just because I’m not running around trying to sleep with everyone that looks good doesn’t mean I don’t enjoy sex. Women are just a bit more reserved about it, or at least they tend to be. Maybe if we weren’t pressured to be a “sexy virgin” by society, we’d act more like men do. Plus, we don’t have sex just to make the other person feel good (unless we’re deep down the rabbit hole of self-objectification); it’s about us, too, and don’t you forget it.
Myth: All women love to shop.
Truth: Personally, I hate shopping. The minute I’m inside a mall or clothing store, I want to get out. That’s why I do all my shopping online.
But the sad truth is that women are pressured by society to shop because they’re held to higher standards than men regarding appearance. The fashion industry aims their advertising mostly at women, in an effort to create insecurities. And –amazingly– in Trump’s America it’s still hard to be taken seriously when you’re a young woman getting started in the business world …especially if you aren’t well dressed. When it comes to appearance, women are expected to be on top of their game at all times, while men are allowed to simply slide by. #SoNotFair
The Bottom Line
I don’t feel any shame about being bad at “women’s work,” and I’m not convinced there’s any reason I should be. Women have a lot more opportunities these days, but that’s not to say you’re any less of a modern woman if you fit this “traditional” mold. Feminism is about choice.
The fact of the matter is, women have other things to do in life besides cooking, cleaning, and giving birth. As times have changed, so has what’s expected of women. These days, women are able to juggle all of that and more while still being happy. Some are stuck in the past, but progressive women all over the world are changing how women are perceived and refuse to be held to old-timey standards.
Women are independent now. Some would even say they don’t need a man to be able to achieve who they are in life.
I hate shopping and my boyfriend said he loved that about me. He loved the fact that he’s not going to be the boyfriend that would carry loads of shopping bags and fall asleep mall corridors just because I took forever shopping. Not all women love to shop and that’s the truth. (I do love online shopping though but I don’t think that’s the same thing.)
I’m a woman and I must admit that most of the time I’m the one who initiates the bedroom stuff. My significant other loves that and respects the fact that I do love sex as much as he does. We’re all adults here and women do love sex as much as men do.
We live in the modern age. No one really cares if a woman can do everything around the house. There was even a time that I met someone that would always tell me that he would cook for me, because he knew it’s something I wasn’t good at. I said I’d do the cleaning instead. He loved the idea because that’s something he hates doing. It’s a matter of compensating that the other person lacks. Like two puzzles that fit together.
Back in my teenage days I would already hear a couple of my relatives saying stuff about me marrying someone when I get older. It wasn’t something that I had in mind because, duh, I was just in my teenage years. But the issue here was that as girls/women in a family, we’re expected to produce babies and be able to have a significant amount of them. Kind of like grandmothers and grandmothers always wanting their children to give them grandchildren and constantly remind you like it was recorded on tape. I’m in my mid 20’s now and I’m just beginning to flourish in my career. I don’t want a child yet nor do I want to get married. Yet, my grandparents are already pressuring me to have a stable life and have children. It’s my choice to focus on my career and not to bear children. Everyone should respect that we all have different priorities and it may not always be at par with their standards.
This is so common within families. I had the same experience. Although I think it’s just an instint for older people to feel pleased because they want to spend time with their grandchildren while they still can. Or that it reminds them of being youthful back in the old days.
If you’re bad at something, like those things that women should be good in, that’s fine. I bet you’ll be good at something else. To each our own, like what other people always say.
Household chores is a shared responsibility. It’s no longer an issue of being a woman or a man.
It all starts with those toys we play with as a child. Those babies that girls need to pretend to take care of and nurture plus all those cooking sets, while boys get all the fun and badass stuff like guns and superhero figures. As early as that kind of age we already teach children to know the roles they play in our society.
Gender roles are sickening. Although for us women it’s a survival skill to be able to cook and clean, it doesn’t mean we should do all the work. My partner helps me with the chores, we share responsibilities and I appreciate that. However, society shouldn’t stick with those gender roles wherein women are supposed to be told, “Make me a sandwich.”
I’ve been in relationships wherein men won’t do anything around the house. Honestly, that’s not the type of man I would marry. Why? Because I believe that in a marriage or any type of relationship, those two people should always help each other. Not just in chores, but with everything else. Relationships consist of two people, not just one. So it’s the same with helping each other no matter what it is. I find that it’s a matter of being responsible and responsibility when it comes to cooking and cleaning. It’s not about who does it.?
That’s not someone I’d marry either. I wouldn’t marry a slob that won’t lift a finger around the house. That’s going to be frustrating and it would be just like having kids, but OLDER.